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Thread: Male Homemakers

  1. #41
    I'm a star. Kangirl's Avatar
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    I don't think anyone in the thread has expressed the belief that NO men should be homemakers. Again, imo, I think people should do whatever works best for them. If this includes male homemaking then all power to them. Like Ceecee, tho, it would never fly for me. Never.

    My personal reasoning is based on a number of (personal) things - I think I would have a harder time feeling attracted to a male homemaker and also, I myself have no desire to be the breadwinner. If I get married and have babies, my hope is to be the main caretaker for the household and the children.
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  2. #42
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 01011010 View Post
    Equality doesn't apply to women alone. Why shouldn't a man be a homemaker?
    Equality is a modern catchphrase that the majority likes to wave around with out truely believing in it's complete definition. Or that's what I've found in my dealings with other people.
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  3. #43
    (☞゚∀゚)☞ The Decline's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Equality is a modern catchphrase that the majority likes to wave around with out truely believing in it's complete definition. Or that's what I've found in my dealings with other people.
    Precisely. Altruism is great for discussions at the coffeetable, but defying norms in reality is too taxing. It like, requires you to think outside the box and stuff. I mean, you wouldn't want your friends and family to think that your husband is a fairy and you a bulldyke, would you?
    "Stop it, you fuck. Give him some butter."
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  4. #44
    Senior Member SubjectA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kangirl View Post
    I don't think anyone in the thread has expressed the belief that NO men should be homemakers. Again, imo, I think people should do whatever works best for them. If this includes male homemaking then all power to them. Like Ceecee, tho, it would never fly for me. Never.

    My personal reasoning is based on a number of (personal) things - I think I would have a harder time feeling attracted to a male homemaker and also, I myself have no desire to be the breadwinner. If I get married and have babies, my hope is to be the main caretaker for the household and the children.
    I'd actually be more attracted to a man who would want to be a homemaker, or at least not mind it. 1) I'm not good with kids. Not nurturing enough and I'm too serious. 2) I'd make a shitty homemaker, because I can't cook nor clean for crap. The way my fiance nit picks about the cleaning and cooking, it would be one big FAIL anyway. :steam: and 3) it shows that he's willing to do whatever it takes to ensure the needs of the family.
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  5. #45
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I guess this isn't the best time to talk about my cooking and cleaning skills... ^^;;
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  6. #46
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    I know two women I work with whose husbands stay home with the kids.

    One is an ESFJ woman. She is not clever but puts on a good show-she can feel like an enfp at first-and is in Marketing. She actually spends a lot of time bragging about how she is the breadwinner. She just got demoted this year. I got her job.

    The other is one of the most ass kicking awesome INTJs i have ever met. She is a very dominant, clever, intellectually stimulating person. She doesnt talk much at all about her husband staying home but every now and then it comes up. She is at the director level.

    Hey is there like a type C prayer thread? I am agnostic but the INTJ lady's four month old baby is going in for open heart surgery this week. It was tense for a month or so, but then he stabilized and has been okay. Not sure if you guys would mind praying to your favorite deity or just projecting happy feely waves that way. His name is Seth. It was so tough as I went into her office one day to ask how she was and she took his picture off the wall and said "this is my baby. His name is Seth." At that point I Ne'd that folks hadnt been calling him by his name-just "the baby". It is easier not to get attached that way.

  7. #47
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    I know two women I work with whose husbands stay home with the kids.

    One is an ESFJ woman. She is not clever but puts on a good show-she can feel like an enfp at first-and is in Marketing. She actually spends a lot of time bragging about how she is the breadwinner. She just got demoted this year. I got her job.

    The other is one of the most ass kicking awesome INTJs i have ever met. She is a very dominant, clever, intellectually stimulating person. She doesnt talk much at all about her husband staying home but every now and then it comes up. She is at the director level.

    Hey is there like a type C prayer thread? I am agnostic but the INTJ lady's four month old baby is going in for open heart surgery this week. It was tense for a month or so, but then he stabilized and has been okay. Not sure if you guys would mind praying to your favorite deity or just projecting happy feely waves that way. His name is Seth. It was so tough as I went into her office one day to ask how she was and she took his picture off the wall and said "this is my baby. His name is Seth." At that point I Ne'd that folks hadnt been calling him by his name-just "the baby". It is easier not to get attached that way.
    There sure is, right here. Hope the baby pulls through.
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  8. #48
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    May I ask why?
    *crickets*
    Why is that, ceecee?
    For one, my husband has 15+ years vested in his career at one company. He is in a senior position and he travels fairly often, teaches and writes. He does work from home about two days a week on average so his schedule is flexible enough to accommodate the kids and other things that need to be done. That said, I think his career is a huge part of his identity, as it is with lots of people. I also think he would be terribly unhappy without the interaction and stimulation his job gives him. He would also see staying home as a waste of all his education and experience. Lastly, he sees himself as ultimately responsible for the financial care of his family.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  9. #49
    Member kryten5786's Avatar
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    i think that male "homemakers" are becoming much more common with the economy in the shape that it is.
    i have no problem cooking and cleaning..im very self sufficient... i look at it as being a farmer, its all about providing for your family...im kinda old fashioned in the sense that being a "man" doesn't mean "puffing" my chest and always being loud... its about taking care of the "cave" and defending it when you have to..

  10. #50
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    The conflict here is gender roles.

    There are many theories on gender identity. Some people think that it exists, and that people can act masculine, feminine and others are genderless. Some cultures even believe in a third gender, someone who does not display masculine or feminine traits or display both.

    Others do not believe that there is a such thing as a gender identity.

    I would say that typically people who promote a gender identity tend to renforce the gender identity more than they deconstruct it, which is the purpose of believing there is a gender identity because it opens peoples' eyes up to say that is it possible to display characteristics of the opposite gender. I personally do not believe in gender roles.

    That being the case, this issue looks quite silly. As it has been stated, the only reason this is an issue is because of society's views. To those who have stated that a stay at home father would never be acceptable in your household, look at that statement for a minute. Is it truly because you think a female's place is at home, or is it because the way your relationship is set up, the female is the member of a male/female partnership who chose that job, and the male of the same relationship simply prefers to work outside of the home?

    Contraversally, you must also consider that there are families that exist in which there is not a female partner in a two way relationship. Homosexual couples may assign gender roles to each pair of the family, but in a male/male relationship there technically would be no female to stay at home, so then it is a matter of preference of the two people. It may be more difficult to imagine a female/female relationship, for there is no biological male to be the breadwinner, so it must be decided amongst the same sex couple who would like to do each job.

    There is also the issue, that has been mentioned, of an unbalanced relationship. There are situations in which there should not be a stay at home parent and a parent working, for it makes child raising inherently unequal. If there was ever a cause for divorce amongst a couple who share the one parent works/ one parent stays at home relationship, it would be this. Biological sex is purely irrelevant when it comes to problems between a couple. The complaints are not 'I believe people who are in possesion of breasts an a vagina should take care of a child and a person in possesion of a penis should work', it is an arguement of societal beliefs.

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