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  1. #31
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I agree with you on all of this. My philosophy is "it's my job to put nutritious and appetizing food in front of them, and it's their job to eat as much or as little of it as they like." So I serve what I serve and they eat it or don't, but I do take their preferences into consideration when I decide what to make. And if they truly, truly do not like a food, I might still give them a tiny bit of it (they say it can take up to 10-15 times of offering a new food before a kid will accept it) but I don't actually care if they eat it. I try to make sure there are enough "courses" that everybody gets SOMETHING they like, if it's not the entire meal. I hate cajoling them into eating something-- once the food is on the table, I am totally hands-off. That includes making new food; if they want something else, they're welcome to get it themselves.
    I like that approach. I wish that would work here or that I had the energy to make it work.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  2. #32
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sahara View Post
    I wish I could behave the way you and cafe do at the dinner times, I get so stressed and it turns into a battle that I usually lose.

    Ok I am going to try again today, I wll make the cannelloni, serve it, and then try to ignore the waste, the picking, the moaning and the outright refusal to eat.
    Sahara, I'm the type who throws a book at any problem I have (especially parenting ones!) so I don't know if this will be useful to you, but there is a GREAT book about this very topic. Amazon.com: How to Get Your Kid to Eat: But Not Too Much: Books: Ellyn Satter
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  3. #33
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I like that approach. I wish that would work here or that I had the energy to make it work.
    I imagine it's a lot easier with two!

    I also have some weight issues that I don't want to pass down to my kids with such gems from my childhood as "the Clean Plate Club" and "ballerinas eat their Brussels sprouts." So I'm pretty hands-off about food. I'll provide the actual food, and let Noah provide the parental guidance in that area.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  4. #34
    Oberon
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    My wife and I keep a basket of fresh fruit on the kitchen counter, and all the kids know that they can go get a piece of fruit and eat it whenever they want.

    The trick, we find, is keeping the basket filled. Typically we'll have apples, bananas, and one other fruit (plums, peaches, grapes, oranges, or what have you) in the basket. The kids tear it up. We've nicknamed our two-year-old "the fruit bat."

  5. #35
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I imagine it's a lot easier with two!

    I also have some weight issues that I don't want to pass down to my kids with such gems from my childhood as "the Clean Plate Club" and "ballerinas eat their Brussels sprouts." So I'm pretty hands-off about food. I'll provide the actual food, and let Noah provide the parental guidance in that area.
    My brother and sister-in-law think I'm bad for not forcing my kids to eat. They have always made their kids eat and believe very strongly that it's the right thing to do, but somehow they aren't noticing that their kids are or are becoming obese or else they are noticing but not figuring out the correlation.

    I know my kids should be eating more fruits and vegetables and that they should not be eating as many carbs and meats as they eat, but most of them self-regulate on the amounts pretty well. Out of the four, I only have one kid that eats like me, though. Likes almost everything, including fruits and veggies and doesn't eat a lot at any one time.

    I do have some limits on what they can eat when and how much. They are lenient, though. No ice cream sandwiches until after lunch and only one a day. That kind of thing. I limit the empty junk food, but don't limit food with some valid nutritional value. They can eat all the fruit and corn dogs they want, for instance.

    Amazingly enough, they are pretty healthy. I don't know what the long term effects will be, but this is the best I can do right now.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #36
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    My brother and sister-in-law think I'm bad for not forcing my kids to eat. They have always made their kids eat and believe very strongly that it's the right thing to do, but somehow they aren't noticing that their kids are or are becoming obese or else they are noticing but not figuring out the correlation.

    I know my kids should be eating more fruits and vegetables and that they should not be eating as many carbs and meats as they eat, but most of them self-regulate on the amounts pretty well. Out of the four, I only have one kid that eats like me, though. Likes almost everything, including fruits and veggies and doesn't eat a lot at any one time.

    I do have some limits on what they can eat when and how much. They are lenient, though. No ice cream sandwiches until after lunch and only one a day. That kind of thing. I limit the empty junk food, but don't limit food with some valid nutritional value. They can eat all the fruit and corn dogs they want, for instance.

    Amazingly enough, they are pretty healthy. I don't know what the long term effects will be, but this is the best I can do right now.
    It sounds pretty great actually. They're learning to self-regulate and they won't have the baggage of being forced to ignore their internal gauges to live with forever.

    I am way lazy so a lot of what I prepare turns out to be more of an assembly thing than true cooking. I might actually cook once a week or less.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  7. #37
    Oberon
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    My wife took our third child (a son, age 7) to the doctor for a routine checkup, and the doctor noted that while his height was normal for his age, his weight was a couple of standard deviations below average.

    "Do you think we should try to get him to eat more?" my wife asked, suddenly worried.

    "Oh no!" the doctor said. "He's healthy in every respect, so there's no need to change his eating habits. Besides," she added,
    "...it's really refreshing for me to see a kid who isn't grossly obese for a change."

  8. #38
    Reigning Bologna Princess Rajah's Avatar
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    I'd mentally prepared for a healthy diet this week. Then I read this thread.

    Thanks, Ivy.

    Fuck, pot pies are good.


    I... suppose. Yeah!

  9. #39
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon67 View Post
    My wife and I keep a basket of fresh fruit on the kitchen counter, and all the kids know that they can go get a piece of fruit and eat it whenever they want.

    The trick, we find, is keeping the basket filled. Typically we'll have apples, bananas, and one other fruit (plums, peaches, grapes, oranges, or what have you) in the basket. The kids tear it up. We've nicknamed our two-year-old "the fruit bat."
    That's cute (fruit bats are cute, too). My younger daughter's only requests this week were for strawberries and plums. The only fruit my older son will eat is bananas and the younger one only eats apples.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  10. #40
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brendan View Post
    Nonsense! I help with dishes and cleaning and everything! I'll even watch Winnie the Pooh with the kids to keep them quiet and settled!
    Hey, I can already park them with WTP to keep them quiet and settled! If this arrangement is going to work, I'm going to need you to read to them and play games and stuff.

    Rajah, you'll be happy to know that my pot pie filling was very nearly fat-free, with the exception of a bit of butter to saute the onions in (maybe 2 tbsp in all, which is spread out between 2 large casserole dishes). The crust was a fattyfest of course, but I didn't feel too bad about the whole thing. And it DID kick ass.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

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