Let's talk about
Anything you have to say about it.
I never knew thee held such terror!...
Sitting down becomes a problematic intricately-planned multi-stage endeavor, at best.
I don't ever leave bed unless I have to. I sit and stink and fester in bed until dark horrors writhe and grow terrible from my body and rip the world asunder.
And only then;
CLEAR MY SCHEDULE, JANET:
I am going to attempt to sit down now.
And once I've sat down -
Fuck every stupid dumb shithead dumb person who ever lived if they think I'll ever get up for any reason EVER again.
And let me describe the intricate tapestry of the GEOGRAPHY of the hemorrhoids of my asshole...
Like a Swiss mountain range. Such valleys and peaks, such soaring splendor! such piquant NUANCE... Like plate tectonics. Oh boy golly!
Forget everything you knew about hemorrhoids!
...and let's talk about ANAL FISSURES.