@SophiaDeep... hey... I've been there too... I started restricting my eating to around a can of soup a day in middle school because I got teased for my muscular legs. I dropped a lot of weight... then I started cracking and binging because I was so hungry... which led to starve/binge cycles. Then I stopped starving myself but couldn't stop the binging... I got really heavy in high school. Then I went on ADHD medicine and got slender again. When I went to college... I stopped the ADHD meds... and having lots of healthy food prepared for me and readily available in the cafeteria helped me start to eat normally again, and the whole big adventure of college was such a time-consuming, mental energy consuming process that it helped take my focus off my body and my eating. The binges stopped being so frequent. Later, I found myself overeating instead, and gained weight again, but my relationship with food has been getting better year by year. I'm getting back to healthy eating now and the starve/binge cycles have mostly waned. A lot of it was getting through a period of time without feeling like I HAD to restrict or binge to be okay. I started learning things that substitute for the emotional comfort of binges - long hot showers, good books, sex, going out with friends, yoga. It's hard to overcome, but try to trust yourself. Your "normal" setting is still within you and will always be. You have to break the "programming" that is pushing you to binge again and again despite desiring otherwise.