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Body Image

Chiharu

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Does anyone else struggle with this?


 
N

ndovjtjcaqidthi

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Yes.. I'm obsessed with my appearance. I'm not going to say anymore about that, though. It sucks.. I just want to be free.
 

21%

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I'm forcing myself to exercise every day and do yoga. Most of the time when I get home, however, I just want to collapse in front of the tv and shut down my brain. It takes a lot of will power to get off my butt and on the treadmill.

 

Mole

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I'm forcing myself to exercise every day and do yoga. Most of the time when I get home, however, I just want to collapse in front of the tv and shut down my brain. It takes a lot of will power to get off my butt and on the treadmill.

I find dance music gets my feet going without having to force myself.
 

prplchknz

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some days i feel obese other days i just feel fat other days i feel like i'm the hottest thing on earth
 

Siúil a Rúin

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I wouldn't say that I obsess about my body as I am sometimes oblivious to it, but I have never felt good about it or like showing it off. Objectively I don't think there is anything wrong with me except I used to be too skinny. Now that I'm a little older I can't get my tummy flat and sometimes my medication make me poof up a bit, so I feel upset about that.

I read an interesting book about body dysmorphic disorder in which individuals become obsessed with specific body parts being wrong. I actually have come to think that rejection of one's body, or an individual body part is driven by social rejection. When we do not have a healthy sense of our place in the world socially, we can attempt to gain control of it by internalizing it to the individual level and reject parts of ourselves. It's just a theory, but at any rate I think it has more to do with feelings of rejection which we internalize and try to control.

People who feel this way (I know from experience) need lots of hugs, special yummy dinners, warm baths, the smell of lilacs, and every wonderful sensation possible in their physical selves.
 

Tabula

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In spite of the fact that I'm 80 lbs. overweight, I still think I more often feel okay about how I look. It, of course, was not always this way, and sometimes still isn't. I go through obsessive periods. My boyfriend has really helped me in this way, I think. He makes me feel beautiful, and as cheesy and cliché and stupid as it sounds, I definitely have noticed more male attention the more confident I feel. More men approach me now than they did when I was a normal weight. I know that's not really a good place to get your body-confidence, but it is really cool to see how the EFFECTS of it affect others and how they see me.
 

21%

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I find dance music gets my feet going without having to force myself.

With dance music I usually just end up jumping around and not working out the muscles I need to :laugh:
 

Nicki

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I was always a scrawny kid growing up but in between 6th and 7th grade, I gained much more weight which made me very happy as I finally look healthy now.
 

Lexicon

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<---struggled with anorexia nervosa from about 14yrs old to early 20s. Have an overall distorted body image, though much of the focus is on proportions. My earliest memory of feeling this way is about 9-10 years old. Body Dysmorphic Disorder has been suggested by previous doctors. I'm not as bad off as I've seen some people with this problem, in terms of behaviors, and allowing intrusive thoughts to control me. They fully believe the self delusions, that people are all "lying" when they tell them there's nothing terribly wrong with their appearance- some devloping a sort of addiction to cosmetic surgery, or taking other extreme/needless measures to repair what ain't broke. I am aware I have this mental distortion impairing my judgement, and while I can't shut it off fully, I am rationally aware, at the same time, how others don't see what I see. The cognitive dissonance there can be maddening in of itself, sometimes. What people do or don't say doesn't seem to reach that tangled knot. Not much does. Even if my eyes can see & my hands can feel exposed ribs & pelvic bones, it doesn't compute with my mind's eye. Fucking.. brains are weird. Nevertheless, the awareness of the delusion keeps me from starving myself. I want to be healthy. And remain so. I'm still neurotic about certain foods, or eating around people, but all that matters to me right now is that I DO eat. Feed my body vs feed the delusion. Knots may loosen, in time.

Some misinformed people will dismiss issues like this as being "shallow" or "vain." However, vanity is typically excessive focus on one's appearance due to pride- there exists a notion that the appearance in question is, or can be, beautiful/should be maintained as such. This pride and potential describes the exact opposite of what people with body image issues usually experience- pervasive shame, inadequacy, and hopelessness. This kind of superficial, overly simplistic viewpoint can be extremely invalidating to people who are trying to deal with their problem. To a lesser extent, so can the canned "love yourself," phrases ("You're beautiful! You shouldn't feel that way!") people like to throw around, although, at least they mean well.

The overwhelming shame about my appearance is a constant; the default belief that there is something inherently "wrong" with me... I never cared about or wanted to be "pretty," I just have always wanted to be free of that sense of shame and disgust. I've worked very hard over the years to undo this damage.. there's still a long road ahead, but at least I'm taking those steps, instead of self-destructing. I try to turn the volume down on those intrusive thoughts/feelings. Remind myself that these are just faulty constructs of the psyche. Constructs presently under renovation. Doesn't always work.. but I still seem to be aware more often these days, in the corners of my mind.. that the storm will pass. I try to push those boundaries, gradually. Challenge triggers in small ways, through cumulative exposure. For example- I hate being photographed, but over the past 4 years I've tried to acclimate myself to it. Some days are better than others. A sense of near-neutrality vs deafening panic. And vice versa. On better days I might even share them with little anxiety, to push myself that tiny bit more. It's a process.



Ironic that someone who hates to be looked at has a passion for musical theatre, but I'm not present the same way, there. The world dissolves. Those parts of myself are left at the door. I think trying to get involved in film production will have more challenges. I don't like to see/watch myself, I guess that's the issue. With stage you just perform, and that infinite now is all there is. Curtain call. But, I'll cross that bridge when I get there. When. Not if. Attempting to envision a life where I allow that fear to steal my dream is more painful than the fight I'll have to face pursuing that love, that's for sure. I try to be patient and not beat myself up for having this problem. Remind myself how much I want to live, truly live my life to the fullest, and to know that freedom. That renovation tends to be quite prolonged, and messy. I just keep reaching, I guess. Hope. Tell myself: I am more than this.
 

The Great One

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Yes, I struggle with body image issues. I find it difficult to attain my ideal body because I have a gagging problem that makes me throw up when exercising, and I also have hypoglycemia which makes me eat more. The sad thing is that I once did have my ideal body and I have a very ideal body for bodybuilding. I have a broad chest, nice legs, broad shoulders, and I'm a good height. In my prime I had a physique like Christian Bale playing "Bruce Wayne". I just have to figure out how to get that back.
 

prplchknz

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Yes, I struggle with body image issues. I find it difficult to attain my ideal body because I have a gagging problem that makes me throw up when exercising, and I also have hypoglycemia which makes me eat more. The sad thing is that I once did have my ideal body and I have a very ideal body for bodybuilding. I have a broad chest, nice legs, broad shoulders, and I'm a good height. In my prime I had a physique like Christian Bale playing "Bruce Wayne". I just have to figure out how to get that back.

how old are you, i was under the impression you were young.
 

93JC

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I wouldn't say I've ever 'struggled' with it per se, but I have never really been happy with my body. I'm disproportionate. I have a big head, a thick neck and a barrel chest, but slender arms & wrists (& ankles). I hate shopping for clothing, nothing ever fits well. I never feel like I really "look good", just make do the best I can. That's a little discouraging.

And then there's the pale skin, which 'they' say looks unhealthy. I don't know how many times I've been told pale skin is 'gross' and people with pale skin "need to go tanning". :dry:
 

Magic Poriferan

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Yes, I've struggled with it for a long time. It has compelled me to work on my body in ways (short of cosmetic surgery), but nothing I do seems to much change how I feel in the big picture.

It isn't as bad as it has been. There was a stretch of time several years ago when feelings about my body (and face) made me upset to the point that I wouldn't look in mirrors, didn't like to be seen, and would sometimes just make me stay in bed instead of getting up.

There's a cognitive dissonance in it all. I'm aware I'm being unreasonable. When I often have feelings about my body that would be appropriate only for someone terribly out of shape and rather hideous. If I stop and think objectively, I know that an aggregate opinion of my body would be well over average, and I know I'm in better shape than most men. However, there's this problematic voice in my head, even as I write this now, which tells me none of that's true, and it isn't true when other people tell me. It's not necessarily that they are lying, but there can always be some rationalization.
 

Rail Tracer

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I'd be lying if I said I didn't have any body image issues. Sometimes I don't care too much about how I look, sometimes I do care how I look.

I'm actually trying to gain more weight and in that process, gain muscle. It's a practice that requires discipline and patience for me (because losing weight is the easy part for me since childhood.)

I'm doing it mostly for health reasons, but the added look is a huge plus.
 

Chiharu

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In spite of the fact that I'm 80 lbs. overweight, I still think I more often feel okay about how I look. It, of course, was not always this way, and sometimes still isn't. I go through obsessive periods. My boyfriend has really helped me in this way, I think. He makes me feel beautiful, and as cheesy and cliché and stupid as it sounds, I definitely have noticed more male attention the more confident I feel. More men approach me now than they did when I was a normal weight. I know that's not really a good place to get your body-confidence, but it is really cool to see how the EFFECTS of it affect others and how they see me.

I don't think it's wrong to gain something through social validation vs internal validation. We're social creatures :)
 

Chiharu

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Yes, I struggle with body image issues. I find it difficult to attain my ideal body because I have a gagging problem that makes me throw up when exercising, and I also have hypoglycemia which makes me eat more. The sad thing is that I once did have my ideal body and I have a very ideal body for bodybuilding. I have a broad chest, nice legs, broad shoulders, and I'm a good height. In my prime I had a physique like Christian Bale playing "Bruce Wayne". I just have to figure out how to get that back.

I believe in you :hug:
 

Lady_X

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In spite of the fact that I'm 80 lbs. overweight, I still think I more often feel okay about how I look. It, of course, was not always this way, and sometimes still isn't. I go through obsessive periods. My boyfriend has really helped me in this way, I think. He makes me feel beautiful, and as cheesy and cliché and stupid as it sounds, I definitely have noticed more male attention the more confident I feel. More men approach me now than they did when I was a normal weight. I know that's not really a good place to get your body-confidence, but it is really cool to see how the EFFECTS of it affect others and how they see me.

confused... :/

80lbs and overweight? are you like 3 feet tall?
 
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