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  1. #21
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    I got this now and then (or some version of it) while living in Minnesota, as the working world in Minnesota is filled with a pretty large proportion of people who are, if not overweight, at least out of shape; being very thin is not much of a norm there.

    However I haven't gotten it a single time now that I'm living in Colorado - because tons of people here are thin / in shape.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  2. #22
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Assume stupidity and stop caring.

  3. #23
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chana View Post
    i get this all the time. i was the skinniest bridesmaid at a wedding this summer and they were all hella rude to me and kept making comments about how i needed to eat a cheeseburger and shit. i wouldn't tell them that they shouldn't eat cheeseburgers. actually someone on this forum repped me something like that when i posted a picture here once so i took it down.
    omg, y u so skinny, eat a cheeseburger, silly.
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  4. #24
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    I hate how it's considered unacceptable to fat shame but it's usually perfectly okay to make derogatory remarks about thinner girls such as, "Men aren't attracted to twigs," or, "Eat a sandwich sometime."

  5. #25
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    How is it any of your business, either way? Are you a doctor? Even if you are, are you THEIR doctor?

    greenfairy, I hate body snarking of any kind. I was teased mercilessly for being a little chubby as a teen. In reality I was completely normal. Now, my daughter is tall and thin like her dad. At one time I was glad she wouldn't face the teasing I did for being fat. But people at school call her "skinny" and "anorexic" and it bothers her. I didn't realize as a teen that the thin girls got similar comments about their body. Everybody should just STFU and MYOB.
    I know right? The world would be a better place if people would STFU and MYOB.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    Assume stupidity and stop caring.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Just tell them to piss off. Easy solution.
    Haha. That's what an INTP would say. An INFJ needs to appease Fe. But you're probably right. As I'm a priestess now and have to be all nice and s-, I'm just going to say I think that's a rude comment and then let it go.

  6. #26
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    I used to get that myself, people don’t seem to feel much inhibition at all about making 'too skinny' comments. While there is a serious obesity problem overall in this country, the 'ideal' promoted by popular media is actually underweight to the point of being unhealthy. So I think that's the reason people are so cavalier in making comments about it- it's socially acceptable to be openly judgmental about people being 'underweight' as some sort of backlash at the pop media pressure to be unreasonably skinny. It's as if- since there are messages all over the place saying it's the 'right' way to be- it's okay for an individual to openly declare their disapproval (and may even be righteous about it, like they're doing their part to balance out public opinion). So I think that’s why telling someone they're overweight and they need to eat less is 'mean' in comparison, because they're already getting bombarded with this message all day long (from various commercials and whatnot). I still found it annoying though, when someone needed to purge some smug righteousness by telling me I'm too skinny because- even though it may be socially acceptable because of larger society problems- they’re expressing disapproval of something about me specifically in so doing (making it personal). I agree with Ivy, body snarking in any direction is just not cool.
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  7. #27
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    I used to get that myself, people don’t seem to feel much inhibition at all about making 'too skinny' comments. While there is a serious obesity problem overall in this country, the 'ideal' promoted by popular media is actually underweight to the point of being unhealthy. So I think that's the reason people are so cavalier in making comments about it- it's socially acceptable to be openly judgmental about people being 'underweight' as some sort of backlash at the pop media pressure to be unreasonably skinny. It's as if- since there are messages all over the place saying it's the 'right' way to be- it's okay for an individual to openly declare their disapproval (and may even righteous about it, like they're doing their part to balance out public opinion). So I think that’s why telling someone they're overweight and they need to eat less is 'mean' in comparison, because they're already getting bombarded with this message all day long (from various commercials and whatnot). I still found it annoying though, when someone needed to purge some smug righteousness by telling me I'm too skinny because- even though it may be socially acceptable because of larger society problems- they’re expressing disapproval of something about me specifically in so doing (making it personal). I agree with Ivy, body snarking in any direction is just not cool.
    I completely agree that that's what's going on. But it's just immature and offensive to take out insecurities and resentments on other people.

  8. #28
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    This is so interesting. I had no idea it was a thing. Maybe it's because I have only ever lived in areas where most people are skinnier; I'm not overweight, but most people are thinner than me, so I've never had those comments directed my way.

    I have been on the other side of that, though. I have a very thin friend who I made similar comments to when I first met her. But it was because I was legitimately concerned for her health, not because I was jealous.
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  9. #29
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    How is it any of your business, either way? Are you a doctor? Even if you are, are you THEIR doctor?

    greenfairy, I hate body snarking of any kind. I was teased mercilessly for being a little chubby as a teen. In reality I was completely normal. Now, my daughter is tall and thin like her dad. At one time I was glad she wouldn't face the teasing I did for being fat. But people at school call her "skinny" and "anorexic" and it bothers her. I didn't realize as a teen that the thin girls got similar comments about their body. Everybody should just STFU and MYOB.
    Ah I just re-read what I put. I meant to specify those close to me. Not any old people.

    And in my own subjective judgement the person has to be really, really ill in that condition and it has to affect their life quite severely to get any response from me. The thing is I dont like people pussy-footing around with those who have REAL weight issues.

    It's only fairly recently ive started thinking like this as well, I used to subscribe to the 'mind your own business' side, but that sometimes does more damage than good. But once again I will remind that this is only those of great closeness to me. Also this is not a case of walking in and going "oi you...you're too fat, get on that treadmill" it's more a case of actually seeing if they want to help themselves first and sitting down to talk with them and try to understand their side of this.

    If anything, though, im still too passive with most people. I apologise anyhow, because I was in a bit of a rush and didn't really think that post through.
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  10. #30
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    greenfairy, I hate body snarking of any kind. I was teased mercilessly for being a little chubby as a teen. In reality I was completely normal. Now, my daughter is tall and thin like her dad. At one time I was glad she wouldn't face the teasing I did for being fat. But people at school call her "skinny" and "anorexic" and it bothers her. I didn't realize as a teen that the thin girls got similar comments about their body. Everybody should just STFU and MYOB.
    I think I avoided receiving most commentary growing up, by withdrawing / not being part of much of anything, such that no one said much of anything to me and I was just known as the 'shy girl'. But I was immensely self-conscious of how I looked from junior high through maybe my junior year in high school (and knew by virtue of what the boys were interested in/who they were looking at that I wasn't even on any of their radar, other than being teased, potentially), because I was an incredibly late bloomer. Super skinny, no body fat, flat as a pancake, no curves, until late high school. Then I finally started filling out, and that continued even into early college, and now I'm pretty well-proportioned.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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