how to tell your mom you might need a urologist

[prplchknz]

I presume that you mean you quit your meds shortly before the problems started? What kind of meds, and could a possible side effect from cessation of them be a reasonable cause?

Why do you believe it to be psychosomatic?

Also, wait until you can get a private moment with your mom where you won't be interrupted by anyone, then tell her.

I feel fine physically ie no pain. I use to take prozac, lithium, and ablify

 

[swordpath]

God dammit, Purple... Please just go to the doctor already! For your sake, you need to just get this addressed and taken care of. There's no shame in suffering from something you don't even have control over. It's a part of life. For some, unfortunately it may seem a bit more embarrassing. By neglecting to take care of this issue promptly, you're possibly jeopardizing your health significantly. Better safe than sorry.

No more updates from you in this thread, until you have news from the doc. *signs petition*

 

[kelric]

God dammit, Purple... Please just go to the doctor already! For your sake, you need to just get this addressed and taken care of. There's no shame in suffering from something you don't even have control over. It's a part of life. For some, unfortunately it may seem a bit more embarrassing. By neglecting to take care of this issue promptly, you're possibly jeopardizing your health significantly. Better safe than sorry.

No more updates from you in this thread, until you have news from the doc. *signs petition*

*petition signed*

Seriously, Purple. Go to the doctor.

 

[prplchknz]

I can't go to the fucking doctor cuz i can't even afford co pay until i tell my mom, i can't tell my mom because she'll yell at me and blame the problem on me, so i'm just stuck. i want to go , but i can't becaue i can not handle being yelled at on top of everything else. it's just simpler if i just die, i don't mean that in a suicidal way.and i can't go the er, because there's an 80 dollar co pay on my insurance that i have to pay.

 

[Red Herring]

The only way you'll know how she'll react is if you actually tell her. Everything else is speculation. Even getting yelled at (if she really would do that) should e a price worth paying for seeing a doctor.

Also, if you were my daughter I would a) be worried about you and do everything to get you better and b) feel hurt by the lack of trust.

/Fe guilt tripping

 

[kelric]

I can't go to the fucking doctor cuz i can't even afford co pay until i tell my mom, i can't tell my mom because she'll yell at me and blame the problem on me, so i'm just stuck. i want to go , but i can't becaue i can not handle being yelled at on top of everything else. it's just simpler if i just die, i don't mean that in a suicidal way.and i can't go the er, because there's an 80 dollar co pay on my insurance that i have to pay.

I understand your reluctance to tell your mom -- but however getting yelled at sucks (and like RH said - you're just assuming there, with however many anecdotes you may have), this is something that you need to get to a doctor for if there's any way to do it. It's also not something that is going to be easy for your mom to "blame" you for... it's not like you left the kitchen stove on and started a fire.

I can understand that you've got a lot going on and that the "on top of everything else" is a big deal. But you've been dealing with this for long enough that you can't count on just taking it easy and having it go away on its own. That "everything else" needs to get addressed, or you'll be in this situation for a lot longer than you want to be. Obviously I don't know your mom, but I doubt that she would want you to have to deal with this sort of thing either. Tell her. The benefits way, way, way outweigh the risks here.

 

[prplchknz]

I told her, she down played it and acted like it was nothing. but she did buy me protection, which was good

 

[Ivy]

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3930473

 

[Ivy]

If you can't get to the specialist any sooner, when is the next time you'll see your psychiatrist? Can you get in to see that person sooner and ask for some help? This is a known side effect of lithium (bladder and bowel, I've just found from Google U) and there is a medication that can be added to your routine that can help with it... I'd be knocking down the door of my psychiatrist to get it.

 

[Orangey]

Incontinence is a serious symptom, especially since (1) you have both bladder and bowel incontinence, (2) it was sudden onset, (3) you're nowhere near being over 50, (4) AFAIK have not had kids, AND (5) it's gone on now for an extended period of time...it's all pretty unusual. It's not like having the sniffles or a sore back. It could really and truly indicate life-threatening illness, especially if left untreated. I would go to the ER (they can't turn you away, even if you don't have enough for your copay) and have them bill you.

 

[prplchknz]

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3930473

If you can't get to the specialist any sooner, when is the next time you'll see your psychiatrist? Can you get in to see that person sooner and ask for some help? This is a known side effect of lithium (bladder and bowel, I've just found from Google U) and there is a medication that can be added to your routine that can help with it... I'd be knocking down the door of my psychiatrist to get it.

thank you first week of september i see her

 

[Ivy]

thank you first week of september i see her

She would want to see you sooner if she knew you were struggling with incontinence. That is not going to help you stay the course for your mental health, either. Please call her tomorrow and see if you can get worked in for an emergency appointment.

 

[prplchknz]

This isn't the first time my mom has dismissed what i've said to her, so i'm not suprised, hurt, but not suprised. maybe she didn't know how to react?

 

[Ivy]

I'm guessing she's trying to downplay it to keep from embarrassing you further. Unless your mom is evil, this does bother her.

 

[prplchknz]

I'm guessing she's trying to downplay it to keep from embarrassing you further. Unless your mom is evil, this does bother her.

yeah, i mean i started crying because i didn't know what to do and she kept ignoring me, because she's all like ooh look at the birds hold on i have to do 50 things i don't have time to listen to you until you're in a crisis but at least i finally told her

 

[kelric]

thank you first week of september i see her

She would want to see you sooner if she knew you were struggling with incontinence. That is not going to help you stay the course for your mental health, either. Please call her tomorrow and see if you can get worked in for an emergency appointment.

You've got nothing to lose by calling your psychiatrist's office, Purple -- Ivy's right (as usual ). The *worst* thing that happens is that you still go to your appointment in September. But I doubt that'll happen - she'll want to know about your condition, especially if there's something that she can do to help.

(and well done on talking to your mom - I know that couldn't have been easy, but it was the right thing to do for yourself)

 

[prplchknz]

I'm calling the psychiatrist today, but i need to get up the courage to tell my mom that pullups leak during the night and i need tape ons and you can only get them online.

 

[prplchknz]

i'm frustrated that's the third time today ive messed myself i don't know why this is happening, i can't control my bowels at all today and its a sizeable amount, i'm wondering if i'm not catching a stomach bug.

 

[prplchknz]

I called the psychiatrist, got an appointment wednesday at 2:30

 

[Red Herring]