So in other words you're looking for the quick fix? It just seems to me that where there's insecury, there seems to be an inherent belief that a change in appearance, circumstances, or people in one's life will suddenly transform it. You are the only one that can make that difference, because it is mostly centred around your outlook and the way you experience everything around you.
If you are content and resilient yourself, the world is going to look like a decent place and you can find happiness, even when your circumstances are difficult. If you aren't content or resilient, you will also find yourself mistrustful of people at the same time as wanting acceptance from them. At the same time, you will continue doing exactly what is not working for you.
You will only want people in your life if you can remain in control of the interaction, and most people just don't respond well to that. It is difficult to be happy for anyone's success, because everything is a competition. When you start getting closer to someone, you do something to sabatage it.
You need to be able to care for other people's needs as well as allowing yours to be taken care of. That requires taking the risk of being vulnerable and building trust. It is not instant, and it does make it possible for you to get hurt, but if you don't start working on it now, it will delay your happiness that many years longer.
Again, I really don't know your specific circumstances, but from what I do know of you, you seem to exhibit some of those symptoms, and I can imagine that it makes life a little lonely. A new face really isn't going to make people respond differently to you.