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  1. #51
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    So in other words you're looking for the quick fix? It just seems to me that where there's insecury, there seems to be an inherent belief that a change in appearance, circumstances, or people in one's life will suddenly transform it. You are the only one that can make that difference, because it is mostly centred around your outlook and the way you experience everything around you.

    If you are content and resilient yourself, the world is going to look like a decent place and you can find happiness, even when your circumstances are difficult. If you aren't content or resilient, you will also find yourself mistrustful of people at the same time as wanting acceptance from them. At the same time, you will continue doing exactly what is not working for you.

    You will only want people in your life if you can remain in control of the interaction, and most people just don't respond well to that. It is difficult to be happy for anyone's success, because everything is a competition. When you start getting closer to someone, you do something to sabatage it.

    You need to be able to care for other people's needs as well as allowing yours to be taken care of. That requires taking the risk of being vulnerable and building trust. It is not instant, and it does make it possible for you to get hurt, but if you don't start working on it now, it will delay your happiness that many years longer.

    Again, I really don't know your specific circumstances, but from what I do know of you, you seem to exhibit some of those symptoms, and I can imagine that it makes life a little lonely. A new face really isn't going to make people respond differently to you.

  2. #52
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü View Post
    Maybe I should ask the scale of 1-10 question to determine if I need plastic surgery.
    A superficial woman too concerned with your looks would be more impressed if you spent that money on a more visible form of peacocking; like a nicer car, nicer apartment/house, clothing, etc. Plastic surgery for men is a sign of insecurity, you want to portray confidence.



  3. #53
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    A superficial woman too concerned with your looks would be more impressed if you spent that money on a more visible form of peacocking; like a nicer car, nicer apartment/house, clothing, etc. Plastic surgery for men is a sign of insecurity, you want to portray confidence.
    what he says
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  4. #54
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü View Post
    Well, if I did have a bad personality, that's something I'm afraid I cannot change, but typically, a better appearance makes up for that, whether you consciously believe so or not.

    Maybe I should have someone Photoshop basic ideal physical traits on my pics.
    I don't think the personality you display here is how you are when you're alone at home, when you aren't trying to get attention.

    Even if it is, an unhealthy mind can become healthy, whether it comes naturally with time, from introspection, from therapy, from maturation, or from fixing underlying physiological issues with medicine. You can also improve the filter for what you share with the world, although someone you date will eventually see past the filter anyway.

    As an obvious example, I might date an ugly guy who was interesting, but would never date even a gorgeous racist. And that's using "date" extremely loosely - I'd probably avoid any contact at all. That's an example of personality being offputting where the trait isn't so much an inherent thing someone is born with but something they picked up along the way - and therefore may be changed.
    -end of thread-

  5. #55
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Fidelia makes a lot of valuable points, uber.
    Forget about surgery.

    How you perceive yourself externally will cumulatively change, the more you work on the internal. None of us are hard wired to behave and think a certain way; that's the beauty of neuroplasticity. It's just a long process. But a worthwhile one.

    I have some very significant body image problems, and despite what others say, it never changed how I saw myself. Positive attention based on appearance alone was never able to be held as valuable. I still lacked the capacity to value myself. It's still something I'm working on. It's different for everyone, but anything pertaining to internal growth always takes a lot of time, pain, and conscious effort. But it is worth it. I still have a long way to go, but I wouldn't trade my current development for all the free surgery in the universe. Simply put, only we can change how our brains see. Only we can find and foster that kind of internal peace.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  6. #56
    figsfiggyfigs
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    DO IT, UBER. DON'T LISTEN TO THE SENSIBLE PEOPLE. LISTEN TO YOURSELF!

  7. #57
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Why don't you research men's fashion, and pick out a look you like?
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #58
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    You look like Kiefer Sutherland.

    Get a quote on a receding hairline.
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  9. #59
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü View Post
    But about the hair... I don't quite understand what makes a good and what makes a bad haircut. I've heard opinions about my hair, and yet no one here seems to be a stylist. If it doesn't take a stylist to say that my hair is bad, then it doesn't take a stylist to tell me how it could be improved.
    i managed a nice lil high end salon for years...and i'm telling you...a nice haircut makes a whole lot of difference.

    go to a higher end neighborhood and check out their salons and make an apt.
    get a chemical peel, microdermabrasian etc
    go to some of the nicer mens stores around and buy nice clothes.

    plastic surgery could go horribly wrong and become a total nightmare.

    look to magazines and/or tv and film for inspiration.

    i would definitely go the understated route with you. nice fitted jeans and pants with nice shirts...really good shoes.
    watch that show where the gay guys makeover the straight guys haha is that still on?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #60
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Getting fit will make more difference than plastic surgery. You'll feel more confident and it will show outwardly.

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