I've come to terms that I am not a conventionally attractive male. The trouble is, I don't know precisely what about my face is unattractive, mainly because I don't pay attention to the details of facial beauty. So I need an objective assessment.
What are parts about my face that I should adjust? For example, is my nose too big? Is my face too wide? Be upfront with me, what should I do about my facial appearance that will make me look more attractive?
As you may already know, I have put myself up on Hot or Not. Why is it that I am ranked a 4.90? I checked out males that are ranked similarly to me, and it seems that they are pretty ugly. Much uglier than I am, I think. Anything lower than 5 seems to be the domain of the morbidly obese and downright fugly, and for some reason, attractive non-whites seem to be ranked in this category (just saying), and I do not find myself repulsive to look at.
It immediately strikes me that the sort of people who tend to spend time and serious thought on Hot or Not are probably not the ones I would assume have the best judgment skills. Plus, there is a significant incentive to anyone who is "competition" to you to rate you low. Who is to say anyone even rated you seriously? It's not exactly a scientific study.
IMO, you're attractive. Going by the pics you've posted I'd pop you around a 7/10 on my personal scale. You might earn more points if I could see your whole face. I have essentially zero reasons to falsify my opinion of you, so hopefully this is as neutral as it can get. You're easily more attractive than a lot of guys I know who are already married or in relationships.
Interestingly, studies have shown that women prefer more feminine looking men when they are off their period, and more masculine looks when they are near ovulation. Given, I think you look more masculine-male than feminine-male, and I personally prefer more feminine-male (no offense, just my personal preference). But point being, opinions are already going to swing. They are not static. It does not seem worth hundreds of thousands of dollars to change your appearance when there is no guarantee that it will make you more attractive to the people you want to be attractive to. Have you ever considered talking to a therapist about Body Dysmorphia?
Ultimately, really, the only opinion of your physical appearance that really matters is that of your future partner(s). And on top of that, one photo is unlikely to demonstrate anything more than a single side of yourself. In person, in real life, charisma counts more than appearance. From your general interaction I suspect you do have charisma. I think in terms of increasing your likelihood of finding partners, you'd be far better off engaging in pleasing social activities (running club, hiking group, after-work hangout, something like that) that make you inherently happy and help you meet people with shared interests than continuing to spend time worrying about your appearance.
Hotness is over rated. Most people don't put that much importance on looks as long as you're at least average looking, if someone falls in love with you, they'll think your looks are great. You look fine, time to start focusing on the connections you feel with different girls.
You hem me in -- behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Hot or Not was probably the most objective way of measuring something that is pretty subjective.
What do you mean by "competition?" How can you tell this by looking at a photo?
That's the thing though, I don't think Hot or Not is objective at all. First, the pool of people is self-selected. It does not accurately represent the general population. Second, there is no standard or definition for "hot". One can assume "sexually attractive", but then some people will attest that sexual attraction can grow over time as they get to know someone. So your rating is not necessarily really indicative of anything beyond how sexually attractive the group of people who decided to go on Hot or Not and happened to randomly get your picture felt you are. And then, like I mentioned, it has been shown at least with women that how sexually attractive they find certain traits varies with their current stage in the ovulation cycle. So if women are rating you, which they presumably are, there is not necessarily any longitudinal average to demonstrate how attractive they feel about you over time. It could be that you randomly get a bunch of women who are at a stage in their cycle that makes you more or less attractive. There is no control for this, so there's no telling what the impact may be. And finally, I think there is pressure, considering that the people who go to Hot or Not can be assumed to desire a "Hot" rating, to rate other people on average lower to make themselves feel better about their appearance, which is what I meant by competition.
But even more than all of that, I think all the concern is an unfortunate waste of your personal energy and resources. If a relationship is what you really want, the direct route to that is pursuing human connections, not considering facial improvement.
Originally Posted by five sounds
Most people don't put that much importance on looks as long as you're at least average looking, if someone falls in love with you, they'll think your looks are great.