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  1. #441
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    A lot of sexual attraction (for women at least) is based on mental and emotional factors, rather than purely physical ones.
    It's my only glimmer of hope.
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  2. #442
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü View Post
    [...]And how can I be interesting if I don't have a strong sense of identity? And if I'm uninteresting, how does it make sense that I could be an interesting person to get to know?
    It’s actually very easy to be the most fascinating and interesting person in the world. There are three simple steps.

    1. Input this rule: The deepest and most important psychological drive in humans is the desire to be mirrored or reflected in the eyes of the people around them. This is why trolls troll; it’s also why millionaires strive to become rich and build empires.

    People want to be mirrored/reflected by other people. If you can do that for them, you will be fascinating and interesting to them.

    2. How do you reflect people? There are 2 steps: Empathize; and then ask for further details. Examples: a) “Glad to hear it! Tell me more!” b) “I’m so sorry to hear that. What happened?” c) “Wow, that’s interesting. So how is that working out?”

    Two important notes: 1) When empathizing, your face should reflect the emotion you’re expressing (smile for happiness, look sad for sadness). Practice in front of a mirror. 2) When asking for details, there are lots of ways to draw out the most sullen conversation partner. Repeat the last word they said back to them as a question. Or listen to their intonation when they talk and ask about the things that they emphasize or repeat. See self-help books on shyness and improving conversational skills if you want more such tips.

    3. Practice makes perfect. Join social groups, book discussion groups, hiking clubs, etc. and practice, practice, practice. It will feel fake at first. But it’s a primary survival skill, so practice it and get good at it.

    Furthermore, over time you’ll meet some people with some genuinely interesting stories, and you’ll genuinely empathize with what they have to say. Keep it up for long enough, and you’ll actually start to find other people interesting. Hard to imagine now, but it will in fact happen.

  3. #443
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    Quote Originally Posted by FineLine View Post
    [...]People want to be mirrored/reflected by other people. If you can do that for them, you will be fascinating and interesting to them.
    Oh yeah, and one big common-sense corollary to the above: Never mentor.

    When you mentor people about anything (movies, roller coasters), you are asking them to reflect you in their eyes. When you do that, you will become an instant bore in their eyes (unless you are very good and subtle at mentoring).

    To be interesting and fascinating to people, you have to reflect/mirror them. You have to empathize with other people and ask for further details. Essentially, you have to ask other people to mentor you.

    It’s a funny little truism about human life: To be fascinating and interesting, you have to take an interest in others. The second you ask others to take an interest in you, you become a bore and a loser.

  4. #444
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü View Post
    I feel really guilty about not really having the drive to achieve anything, or maybe I do, I just don't know what I want to achieve anymore, aside from that which has been bugging me for the last 7 years.
    You're sounding kind of INFP here. In an INFP thread I posted an exercise on how to identify one's priorities in life and interests. You could try that: http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=1#post1864883

  5. #445
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü View Post
    I feel really guilty about not really having the drive to achieve anything, or maybe I do, I just don't know what I want to achieve anymore, aside from that which has been bugging me for the last 7 years.
    Uber what is your MBTI type? You keep on changing it between INTJ and ENTP.

  6. #446
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riva View Post
    Uber what is your MBTI type? You keep on changing it between INTJ and ENTP.
    I do, don't I?

  7. #447
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    Anyway, back on topic, Argus and JTG1984 were apparently good looking enough to get compliments from women. Sadly, I do not have a point of reference to compare myself to, as their photos have been deleted. Now I must find out what I need to do in order to get the same treatment.

  8. #448
    Riva
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ü View Post
    Anyway, back on topic, Argus and JTG1984 were apparently good looking enough to get compliments from women. Sadly, I do not have a point of reference to compare myself to, as their photos have been deleted. Now I must find out what I need to do in order to get the same treatment.
    I'm beginning to think you are taking everyone in the forum for a ride. Are you? If so I must applaud you on you ruthless determination.

  9. #449
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    Quit derailing my thread. Seriously.

  10. #450
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    What you are going to surgery your way to looking like them specifically? That would be weird. Besides, both had personal issues that I don't think are worth emulating, unless you just enjoy negative attention that much.

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