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  1. #31
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    believing in some sort of omnipotent god and putting the power into his/her hands is such a cop out (to me)... it's my own damned fault for thinking that I could behave irresponsibly with my family history and get away with it... I'm set on that point. Anyways, if there is a god I'm PISSED OFF at the asshole for making me the way I am in the first place

    I don't care if that's worked for a lot of people, there are other people in my boat as well, and I can tell you for sure that listening to people talk about letting go of responsibly and putting themselves in the hands of a higher power raises my hackles like very little else... not exactly the recipe for success!
    I agree, this....THIS

    listening to people talk about letting go of responsibly and putting themselves in the hands of a higher power raises my hackles like very little else
    makes me <thisclose> to what it must feel to lose your mind. Literally, I can't even think straight.



    Quote Originally Posted by earthtrekker1775 View Post

    As far as my knowledge of the meetings goes, it is not about putting responsibility into the hands of God but realizing that the burdens of guilt, shame, failure, anger, bad history, etc. are not burdens you need to carry and they will impede your recovery.
    What? They should feel guilty, they should feel the burden of every single thing they rained down on the people around them tenfold. Why in the fuck do they feel they even deserve to be absolved from a goddamn thing?
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  2. #32
    Senior Member Tiger Owl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    What? They should feel guilty, they should feel the burden of every single thing they rained down on the people around them tenfold. Why in the fuck do they feel they even deserve to be absolved from a goddamn thing?
    They do feel that guilty, so overwhelmingly so, that beating the addiction that caused so many problems is almost impossible. They don't feel like they deserve anything, least of all forgiveness, that is a big part of what drives the drinking. It is not about them getting their golden ticket, getting cleaned up and saying F everybody else my life is great now. It is about taking responsibility for their actions and learning to make better actions so you don't repeat all the damage to others/self. And then, when they start getting their lives together they start trying to undo some of the damage.
    INTJ 5w4 sx/sp 584 ILI-Ni

  3. #33
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by earthtrekker1775 View Post
    They do feel that guilty, so overwhelmingly so, that beating the addiction that caused so many problems is almost impossible. They don't feel like they deserve anything, least of all forgiveness, that is a big part of what drives the drinking. It is not about them getting their golden ticket, getting cleaned up and saying F everybody else my life is great now. It is about taking responsibility for their actions and learning to make better actions so you don't repeat all the damage to others/self. And then, when they start getting their lives together they start trying to undo some of the damage.
    Good. They deserve it. I'm sorry but having experienced an ex-husband going through AA, his idea of making amends was to tell me that he's only human and I have to understand it and he put the responsibility for all the shit he did in MY lap to deal with. Then his sponsor told me basically the same thing. Not happening. Not happening ever.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  4. #34
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I've been more or less sober for a little over 2 years now, after having actually gone through rehab. Quitting is hard... and I'm saying is, because I'm still having issues with it. I'd thought a while back that it might be possible to have a drink or two, and I succeeded a few times, but then I thought I would have a beer with lunch at work and ended up getting wasted instead and decided that perhaps I really CAN'T drink like normal people

    recently I fucked up my dominant arm (lower arm, hand and a few fingers) and am having trouble doing quite a few things that I had previously done with ease without it hurting... combine that with stress from work and birthday season for all of my friends and I'm having trouble NOT thinking about drinking

    I was thinking that perhaps attending meetings would be beneficial, but I'm sure as hell not attending anything where I'm going to get talked to about God and such However, I can't seem to find any secular options.

    Any suggestions?

    and no, I don't need to be lectured about an apparent need to find god or for my past bad decisions
    About AA, and higher powers:
    'Finding god' doesn't mean that you have to give up whatever you already believe; even if that is that there is no god. It's a metaphor. It simply mean that you acknowledge that there is a higher order to things, and that you can't determine what that order is. It's a realization that your own consciousness is not omniscient, that the answers you seek may in fact not be understandable within that consciousness, and that on that basis, you don't have to feel guilty or weak for not being able to understand or control the forces of the universe. This removal of shame frees you up to express compassion to yourself and to others, which is how you begin to heal.

  5. #35
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I found sugar but I got yelled at for that. It's like fuck you! I can't drink, let me do this instead! rawr.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  6. #36
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    thanks for the reminder that I'm a terrible person

    however, having someone tell you that it's not all your fault really doesn't work all that well for some of us- there's more effective ways to assuage one's guilt than to just be told that "god loves you, and you're not in charge of the universe!"

    what I am in charge of is myself... I am in charge of myself... and I know that I've done some bad things and am a terrible person and such... I have recurring nightmares about relapsing into my previous lifestyle- I don't really need that either- just some nice practical tips, that shouldn't be too much to ask for should it?
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #37
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    wait what? I never called you a terrible person, I was just saying that substituting doesn't work because one) it's not alchol two)people suck and are health nazis
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  8. #38
    morose bourgeoisie
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    @whatever
    What part of the country do you live in?

  9. #39
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I wasn't blaming you ms chickens (though coffee with a lot of sugar is an excellent substitute for ANYTHING!)

    and @nebbykoo I'm in the lower midwest
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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