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  1. #21
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    believing in some sort of omnipotent god and putting the power into his/her hands is such a cop out (to me)... it's my own damned fault for thinking that I could behave irresponsibly with my family history and get away with it... I'm set on that point. Anyways, if there is a god I'm PISSED OFF at the asshole for making me the way I am in the first place

    I don't care if that's worked for a lot of people, there are other people in my boat as well, and I can tell you for sure that listening to people talk about letting go of responsibly and putting themselves in the hands of a higher power raises my hackles like very little else... not exactly the recipe for success!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  2. #22
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I can tell you for sure that listening to people talk about letting go of responsibility and putting themselves in the hands of a higher power raises my hackles like very little else... not exactly the recipe for success!
    People actually say that shit? How convenient.

  3. #23
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    People actually say that shit? How convenient.
    it's like saying that it's god's fault that you robbed a bank or picked up a prostitute or ate way too many cheeseburgers... people are fucking pathetic sometimes
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #24
    Senior Member Tiger Owl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    "Anyways, if there is a god I'm PISSED OFF at the asshole for making me the way I am in the first place."

    "Listening to people talk about letting go of responsibly and putting themselves in the hands of a higher power raises my hackles like very little else..."
    Not at all trying to start a debate or bash your opinions but the two above statements bear a closer looking at.

    As far as my knowledge of the meetings goes, it is not about putting responsibility into the hands of God but realizing that the burdens of guilt, shame, failure, anger, bad history, etc. are not burdens you need to carry and they will impede your recovery. You (hopefully) come to the realization that you were made for more than the sum of your failures/struggles and free of that weight you can begin the recovery process leaning on a loving, and infallible creator when you are weak instead of other weak people. The results speak for themselves. There are I am sure secular options. I hope you find one that works for you. Alcoholism runs strongly in my family as well, so does walking thin lines... bad combo.
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  5. #25
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by earthtrekker1775 View Post
    Not at all trying to start a debate or bash your opinions but the two above statements bear a closer looking at.

    As far as my knowledge of the meetings goes, it is not about putting responsibility into the hands of God but realizing that the burdens of guilt, shame, failure, anger, bad history, etc. are not burdens you need to carry and they will impede your recovery. You (hopefully) come to the realization that you were made for more than the sum of your failures/struggles and free of that weight you can begin the recovery process leaning on a loving, and infallible creator when you are weak instead of other weak people. The results speak for themselves. There are I am sure secular options. I hope you find one that works for you. Alcoholism runs strongly in my family as well, so does walking thin lines... bad combo.
    I went to two meetings once (court mandated! ) and the interpretation of things that people seemed happiest with was the "let's just put all responsibility in god's hands" style of things... which I find to be irresponsible and completely unappealing. I never went back as soon as it wasn't required anymore. I will not go back to listen to people blame someone else for their problems when at some point they have to take some responsibility for themselves
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  6. #26
    Senior Member Tiger Owl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I went to two meetings once (court mandated! ) and the interpretation of things that people seemed happiest with was the "let's just put all responsibility in god's hands" style of things... which I find to be irresponsible and completely unappealing. I never went back as soon as it wasn't required anymore. I will not go back to listen to people blame someone else for their problems when at some point they have to take some responsibility for themselves
    Now that I agree with. I believe God made me but sure didn't make my decisions for me. Sorry you got the short end of the stick with the meetings, sounds like they may have been missing the point.
    INTJ 5w4 sx/sp 584 ILI-Ni

  7. #27
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by earthtrekker1775 View Post
    Now that I agree with. I believe God made me but sure didn't make my decisions for me. Sorry you got the short end of the stick with the meetings, sounds like they may have been missing the point.
    I'm a non-christian in the bible belt... I'm used to that bullshit

    and if someone is vain enough to think that a deity would care enough about humanity that they would micromanage every aspect of it, that's a pretty sad thing
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  8. #28
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Question... Why do you think you drink so heavily? Is it a social crutch? Do you feel as though you have little to talk about or feel uneasy talking unless you're drinking? Is it to fill boredom and idle time?

    For me personally, alcohol is certainly a social crutch. I can be extremely shy, and the more awkward I feel, the more I drink generally. So, in company I'm comfortable with, I hardly drink, if at all. I'm much less motivated to throw back drink after drink.

    For many of my friends, especially the more extroverted variety, I feel like it's more of a boredom thing. They aren't as interested in things like hobbies, or have few interests that don't involve group gatherings and socialization. I'm thinking of one friend in particular, an ESTJ friend... and when she's bored, which happens often, she'll text or call me, and say we should meet for a drink at the bar. And there, we're also likely to run into other friends of ours, too. She's also a big fan of trivia night at the bar. This is her favorite form of filling in time. I personally think she could benefit from cultivating hobbies she enjoys, or finding other social activities-such as a book club or something of that nature.

    Maybe you have some other reason for becoming dependent on alcohol?
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  9. #29
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I used to drink just for a chance to relax and turn my brain off... I got tired of listening to it (note: was in therapy at the time for PTSD related to other shit... it all goes hand in hand)... I quit though
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  10. #30
    LL P. Stewie Beorn's Avatar
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    I'm sorry to read you're still having trouble finding an alternative.

    I came across this today and thought of you. Apparently some atheists just grin and bear it. The author of that blog has also written a book about atheism, spirituality and recovering from alcoholism. Maybe you would find that helpful.
    Take the weakest thing in you
    And then beat the bastards with it
    And always hold on when you get love
    So you can let go when you give it

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