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  1. #11
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    if i lived there i'd be your friend, and we can be miserable and sober together
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  2. #12
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    if i lived there i'd be your friend, and we can be miserable and sober together
    or we could sit at the end of the table and make snarky comments about everyone!

    seriously... I was reading xkcd comics at a bar the other night instead of drinking and being merry... and drinking coffee
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #13
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I actually DID lose most of my friends when I quit drinking... and since that used to be my primary form of socialization (my hobbies are solitary) I really haven't replaced them... and that's who I've been out with lately for birthday celebrations. A good number of them are alcoholics and they don't see any problems with their drinking in the least and think that I'm being uptight by having quit. That is something that most people don't really consider before stopping... friendlessness. (and that they weren't really your friends in the first place )

    it's hard to say no with any excuse except for "I quit drinking you fuckhead!" at these people since they've usually booked cabs and are generous with their money

    I'm thinking that some outside form of accountability would be a good thing, since disappointing others scares me more than disappointing myself

    ... and that article wasn't entirely untrue
    I definitely suggest going to meetings regularly. I know they're out there, secular people DO exist in the Bible Belt I swear!! But more importantly, alcohol is truly just a medication for THE problem.. alcohol itself isn't the problem, it is your brain's wiring and the way you feel and react to alcohol. So meetings and being held accountable will end up being required, simply because you'll never "quit" officially. You'll just "pause" until the day you die. It's like if a person is prone to procrastination.. it is something you work on not doing on a daily basis, and just when you get comfortable with it is when you realize you have to work even harder. It's just one more thing to do and be aware of.. but it is better than not being aware.

    I'm lucky in that I'm a total geek.. I can easily indulge in geeky hobbies and still socialize with people. Magic The Gathering, video games that are multiplayer, board games and role-playing games like DnD give my social fixes more than I'll ever need So maybe looking at what hobbies you DO enjoy would be a great start!
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  4. #14
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I definitely suggest going to meetings regularly. I know they're out there, secular people DO exist in the Bible Belt I swear!! But more importantly, alcohol is truly just a medication for THE problem.. alcohol itself isn't the problem, it is your brain's wiring and the way you feel and react to alcohol. So meetings and being held accountable will end up being required, simply because you'll never "quit" officially. You'll just "pause" until the day you die. It's like if a person is prone to procrastination.. it is something you work on not doing on a daily basis, and just when you get comfortable with it is when you realize you have to work even harder. It's just one more thing to do and be aware of.. but it is better than not being aware.

    I'm lucky in that I'm a total geek.. I can easily indulge in geeky hobbies and still socialize with people. Magic The Gathering, video games that are multiplayer, board games and role-playing games like DnD give my social fixes more than I'll ever need So maybe looking at what hobbies you DO enjoy would be a great start!
    I'm jealous, I really am... I wish that I had normal or geeky hobbies! I come from a long line of alcoholics on both sides of the family though, so my stupidity kind of doomed me there I know, that genetically speaking, I'm always going to have that void there that other people don't have...

    and yes, there are secular groups around... my horror at admitting to everything I've done, and worse, how I FEEL about that, is kind of scary
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  5. #15
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I'm jealous, I really am... I wish that I had normal or geeky hobbies! I come from a long line of alcoholics on both sides of the family though, so my stupidity kind of doomed me there I know, that genetically speaking, I'm always going to have that void there that other people don't have...

    and yes, there are secular groups around... my horror at admitting to everything I've done, and worse, how I FEEL about that, is kind of scary
    It is hard.. But luckily you do have friends and family. You'll be okay. ^_^b
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  6. #16
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    I don't drink much.

    What I notice is that I have scenarios in whether I will or will not sip a drink. In other words, a unwritten list of do and do-not.

    Most of the time, I only drink when the occasion is special (maybe a wedding or someone's birthday.)

    I only drink at night... don't think I have token a sip of wine/beer before in the morning/afternoon. At least, night time when I am winding down, so I'm more willing to drink a bit... as opposed to right at the break of dawn or the afternoon when most things are happening

    I don't drink when there is something I have to do the next day that require me to wake up in the morning.

    ----------------
    I think, it is ok to drink maybe a few times a month... just not excessively as if it was going out of style.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Sanctus Iacobus's Avatar
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    The problem is not with alcohol but your relationship with it. When you believe that getting juiced is a part of who you are, you subconsciously believe you need it, like food or oxygen. If you study how other "normal" people (and the truth is, you are normal) drink alcohol you will see it is just one of many things they do, not who they are. Their relationship to the drink is not heavily involved. It's more like a friendly acquaintance than a painful ex... and you already know how to deal with those. It's time to break up, for good. Coming from someone who has struggled with alcohol 'ab-use'.

    Oh, and Noah was a drunk.

  8. #18
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    In heaven, there is no beer. That's why we drink it here.

    Seriously, the god talk is about one thing alone: you are not god of your own world. You are not capable of fixing yourself. You're going to have to willingly surrender yourself to the assistance of something you have no control over. It's tough, I know. I'm pulling for you.

  9. #19
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    looking through various options today (since I was stuck out with my old drinking buddies yesterday night... and the man, who fortunatly is understanding and works as my alcohol cock-block, but is one of those lucky bastards who can cut back to being an occasional light social drinker from his heavy drinking past... I'm so jealous! )... there's WAY too many options out there to choose from, and for someone who works in a very social field, I feel incredibly socially awkward when joining a new group... even online

    not sure I even want to go through with being social about things when more thought is put into it... I'm the person who has always failed at playing chess because there are too many decisions involved
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  10. #20
    Senior Member Tiger Owl's Avatar
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    The reason God is in all the meetings is because with an addiction as strong as alcohol decades of experience have shown that the meetings work best when God is at the center of the recovery process. Best of luck to you.
    INTJ 5w4 sx/sp 584 ILI-Ni

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