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  1. #1
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Default Anxiety disorders

    I was wondering if anyone has been diagnosed with some sort of anxiety disorder and would care to share their experiences.

    I had therapy a couple of years ago for a fear of flying phobia and am not out of the woods with it yet, though it seems improved. I do wonder for various reasons if I am suffering from some more generalized anxiety disorder and if the phobia may have been partly a symptom.
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    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    I'm having one right now.

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    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    I'm having one right now.
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    Diagnosed? No. Nothing I've ever sought treatment for, though I have noticed in recent years that I am forming a bit of claustrophobia (uncomfortable in elevators, don't like sitting against the wall in a restaurant with someone on the other side of me, etc.) as well as have managed to worry myself needlessly into a panic attack on more than one occasion. Nothing too out of the norm I think for a typical over-stressed college student about to join the rat-race of life?
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    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    ^Yeah, it can be hard to tell (for me certainly) if a level of anxiety is really much beyond "normal" in an average stressful life (and I live in a big stressful city), or if it's nothing that unusual. I've always been a bit of a nervous flyer and had a bit of a thunderstorm phobia, but both are worse than they used to be. Like, if I know the weather is thunder-ish, but there's no actual thunder/lightning yet, and I see a flash from somewhere, like a camera flash, I'll jump sideways. That sort of thing. And my anxiety is sometimes hard to control when I fly, though having done CBT a couple of years ago helped. It's getting better but is certainly worse than it was several years ago - I started having real problems three years ago. Before that I only got really scared when I flew if there was a lot of turbulence.

    I also wonder if cutting out caffeine entirely would make a difference, but I doubt that will happen... I drink more tea than coffee anyway. But I could probably stand to lower my intake a bit.

    I feel more...unsafe than I used to. Sometimes unnecessarily. Any kind of violent weather alarms me, I was scared to drive when I went home recently (I only have a license for my country of origin) as I hadn't driven for a long time, etc. And when an old family friend died last year, it made me feel like something was going to happen to my parents or family. Not much logic to it.

    I also tend to suffer from musculoskeletal chest pains, and under a lot of stress I have severe nausea and fatigue. At stressful times I've also been prone to waking up with a choking feeling.

    It's just the cumulative impact of all these symptoms that kind of worries me. Haven't been to a doctor for quite some time, might be time.
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    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Actually I think I have all reasons to be anxious right now:

    1. Just moved to a new country.
    2. Preparing for changing a new career.
    3. No friends nor relatives here.
    4. Have been unemployed for nearly 5 months.
    5. I'm renting a 85 square feet apartment (not kidding!).
    6. Cash is getting tighter (from my savings).


  7. #7
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    Actually I think I have all reasons to be anxious right now:

    1. Just moved to a new country.
    2. Preparing for changing a new career.
    3. No friends nor relatives here.
    4. Have been unemployed for nearly 5 months.
    5. I'm renting a 85 square feet apartment (not kidding!).
    6. Cash is getting tighter (from my savings).

    yeah, those are all valid reasons to be stressed! I get horrifically stressed if I feel too much uncertainty. I hope things settle down soon, that's a lot to have on at once. And btw, I feel for you over the 85 square feet apartment. I've lived in that kind of accommodation in recent years, though that may be even smaller...

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    SilkRoad, do you exercise?

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    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nebbykoo View Post
    SilkRoad, do you exercise?
    I walk a good deal, and run up subway escalators and that sort of thing, but not much in the way of systematic exercise.

    I am going to try to get that going with jogging or to the gym at least once a week. It is a current goal, once I've recovered from jet lag after my recent trip

    I have tried this before but tend to fall off the wagon and not keep it up. I think it could make a difference to both my physical and mental health, though.
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    SilkRoad, I was diagnosed with GAD - Generalized Anxiety Disorder at 22 and it was serious stuff. I think there are people who actually enjoy/find comfort in wallowing in depression, self misery, but I've never been one of them. I rarely like to admit any kind of emotional vulnerability, believing that any kind of depression/anxiety is something I can change or un-do if I examine long enough, find the right angle, work hard enough, etc. But this "do it all myself" mentality truly screwed me up. It was after I broke up with my first boyfriend (5 yrs with INFJ) and I swear it almost killed me. I knew we were unhealthy and that I couldn't settle down, but I also couldn't imagine every loving anyone as much as him (still do from time to time). So it broke me. As in, took a chunk of my soul. (Okay I'm being dramatic lol)

    The way I delt with it was by not dealing with it. Classic E7. Instead of allowing myself to sit in pain, heal, nurture myself.. I went buck wild crazy with partying and dating other people to get in as many memories as I possibley could to forget him. This included partying non-stop and drug abuse for over a year. Silly silly me.. to believe I could ever cover up all that indepth emotion with meaningless surface goodies. It just repressed all that pain, confusion, and fear.. and made me a ticking time-bomb.

    It started with panic-attacks (that I had never experienced pre-relationship) and they become so bad that I would be sitting at my desk at work, and suddenly feel like I was going to die. I'd become sweaty, my vision fuzzy, I felt like I couldn't breathe, and my chest would become really tight. My mind would race over and over.. "I am dying. I am having a heart attack. I'm dying." I would have to get up from my desk, as cooly and calmly as I could pretend.. and "go for a walk". Most of the time I'd go into a bathroom and lock myself in the stall. After about 10 minutes it would pass. What did I try to do? Why distract myself some more ofcourse! Then the Agoraphobia set in. It started small, I'd be in a club, at a party, even movie theatres, and all the sudden I've be sooo overwhelmed that again, I felt like I was going to die if I didn't get to a safe, isolated place. I'd up and leave. By this point my friends knew I was going through something. They'd try to calm me down.. but it made it worse, because I felt like my total freakout was on display. So finally I went to a doctor, who listened to me for about 5 minutes and wrote me a Xanix scrip. But I was, and always will be, against medications (for me personally.) Work become a nightmare. I didn't want to leave the house. Always in fear that as soon as I was in public I would flip.

    One night this 'Attacking Anxiety' commercial came on, and I watched all these people talking about how they had the same problem as me. How it had almost destroyed their lives. I phoned the 800 number and had a $150.00 dollar video package sent to me, next day shipment. Here is the funny thing.. I NEVER did watch even one of those videos that came. About that time, I decided to rent a room in my condo out to an aquaintance. And she turned out to be a Godsend for me. She was an ISFJ. SHe was healthy, routine, completely against drugs and partying.. and she knew alot about love and psychology. She was very into nature, chakras, body therapy.. and for almost another year she acted as my own personal shrink/healher/guru/best friend. On nights that I couldn't sleep, she would make me special teas, give me body massages, and even let me CUDDLE with her! (It was incredibly intimate, even though we are both very straight.) She listened to me soo much, hugged me, she'd help me breathe. She talked through alot of my fears of being alone, of never finding true love again, she helped me pin-point the triggers that set me into anxiety and negative thought processes. She got me into artistic dance, meditation, and all kinds of super-foods. We'd go to the gym together 6 days a week. After a while, I noticed my anxiety attacks were less frequent. When ever I'd have one, I'd tell myself "This will pass. Your not going to die. This has happened many times, and you haven't died yet." I learned how to correct my thought patterns.

    After another year all the anxiety and fears were gone. Ofcourse it took some time, many uncomfortable situations, and major life changes. But I did get through it, and I did it without a fucking "Happy pill," without a huge shrink bill, and with an amazing insight on the ability to heal oneself. I was so lucky to have a friend there that was entirely open and available to direct and nurture me like this. My advice to anyone having these problems is to reach out. Even though your natural instinct will be to hide away, feel ashamed, feel like no one will want anything to do with you when your down and depressed, or feeling "crazy".. there are all kinds of community resources, or even just people.. very capeable of helping you learn to self heal, if you can't figure it out on your own.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

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