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  1. #71
    Senior Member ScorpioINTP's Avatar
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    Do you have any other symptoms of thryoid deficiency? (lethargy, fatigue, dry skin, constant thirst, hair loss etc.?) I have been on thryoid meds for a few yrs and I was gaining weight too and never had any issues with weight in my life. It's worth checking, but it might be unusual at your age....I only say that because you say you don't eat much and gained 1.5" in 5 mos.

    Your parents definitely sound controlling an manipulative. I am familiar with that. I wasn't equipped to move out at your age either, but if you can find a way, you might want to do that. Call their bluff, if you can swing it. They will still support you if you were in dire straights. You are their daughter. They will always love you (despite acting they way they do). A control freak isn't just going to let go that easy. I'm twice your age and my dad still tries to manipulate me and offer me unwanted help/advice. Are you an only child?

    You could find faults with them and give them a taste of their own medicine and see how they react if you feel devilish.
    Type 6w5 sp/so/sx I think..I have not fully explored this and just discovered it.

  2. #72
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queen Kat View Post
    I wanted to move out a year ago, but I wasn't allowed to. They said that if I'd move out, they wouldn't ever support me if I ever got in financial trouble and I didn't want to take that risk (most students get in financial problems).
    I hope you don't object to me saying so, Kat, but this looks to me like downright predatory behavior. This is controlling at a psycho level. It's like the leverage a kidnapper would use against his victim: "If you ever try to escape, I'll do X..."

    Want instant independence from your family? Enlist in the military. You won't have to worry about where to sleep or what to eat for the term of your enlistment, and if you work it out right they'll pay you to go to university. You can send your family postcards of your skinny self in a camo bikini.

  3. #73
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I know this won't solve your parents insanity, but have you thought about talking to a therapist about this, maybe they can help you develop tools and just have a place to rant and vent your frustrations in order to deal with your parents more effectiantly, I wish there was a way to get them to see a professional, because what they're saying is damaging, and it sounds like they would benefit from counseling. Because more than likely they have issues that they need to work out themselves.
    I've visitted a therapist a few months ago because of my ADD and I don't feel like visitting them again because of something else. I usually try to lose my frustrations by writing about them (they complain so much about my weight I had to turn my main character into someone who was actually overweight). I know my parents wouldn't visit a therapist. My father hates therapists and my mother doesn't dare to visit one because of that reason (I kept my visit a secret too, but I have more secrets anyway). I know that my mother has extremely low self-esteem and my father just seems a bit obsessive compulsive or autistic, so yes, they probably have issues too.

    Quote Originally Posted by ScorpioINTP View Post
    Do you have any other symptoms of thryoid deficiency? (lethargy, fatigue, dry skin, constant thirst, hair loss etc.?) I have been on thryoid meds for a few yrs and I was gaining weight too and never had any issues with weight in my life. It's worth checking, but it might be unusual at your age....I only say that because you say you don't eat much and gained 1.5" in 5 mos.

    Your parents definitely sound controlling an manipulative. I am familiar with that. I wasn't equipped to move out at your age either, but if you can find a way, you might want to do that. Call their bluff, if you can swing it. They will still support you if you were in dire straights. You are their daughter. They will always love you (despite acting they way they do). A control freak isn't just going to let go that easy. I'm twice your age and my dad still tries to manipulate me and offer me unwanted help/advice. Are you an only child?

    You could find faults with them and give them a taste of their own medicine and see how they react if you feel devilish.
    My hair is okay, I'm rarely really thirsty, just when I'm tired or in summer (but maybe because I drink a lot of tea and coffee because I can think better when I drink these things), I only have skin problems in summer (eczema and pigmentless stains), I usually have a lot of energy (except, indeed, in summer), so it seems that I only have thyroid problems in summer. I only gained weight because I lost my measuring tape and I just don't have any control of my body without it. I'm indeed an only child and I actually gave up on moving out the next few years. I just have to wait until I can follow a master study abroad, but somewhere I speak the local language fluently (that would be Belgium, Suriname or some English speaking country). Maybe I could work on the little French I already speak and study in a French speaking country.

    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    I hope you don't object to me saying so, Kat, but this looks to me like downright predatory behavior. This is controlling at a psycho level. It's like the leverage a kidnapper would use against his victim: "If you ever try to escape, I'll do X..."

    Want instant independence from your family? Enlist in the military. You won't have to worry about where to sleep or what to eat for the term of your enlistment, and if you work it out right they'll pay you to go to university. You can send your family postcards of your skinny self in a camo bikini.
    And I thought I was just being a drama queen for thinking this wasn't normal behaviour. But I don't want to enlist in the military. I like being in college too much (even though my life isn't exactly the true college life ).
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
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  4. #74
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    im really bad at seeing that from photos, but it looks like you are at pretty normal weight, but on the heavy side of normal. exercise and eat healthier if you want to, it doesent only help with losing weight, but also your mind works better since your body creates all hormones and builds your brains and all from what you eat. not to mention that its nice not to die if you need to run 100 meters to bus as fast as you can.

    and this:

    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    All that matters is how you feel about your own body. Forget about everyone elses opinion.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  5. #75
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Now I want to see a picture of your mum. The woman must look like an XKCD refugee, with lipstick.

  6. #76
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    Y'know I have to add... It wasn't until the past few years that I began to realize how much most men actually don't like really skinny women. Turns out a LOT of them like butts and hips and boobs and some squishy/jiggly bits.
    i have noticed that younger men like skinny girls more and as men get older they start to like more something that they can grab
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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  7. #77
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    i think your body is lovely, and you look far from obese. you were very cute at 14 but lanky, as teens of course usually are. now you have a balanced hourglass figure and beautiful curves.

    i am a bit biased, though, i think women look better when they are average (which i believe you are - nothing about your body says "overly heavy" to me) or a bit thicker than the "skinny" many people tend to idealize. scientifically speaking, we are made to bear and nurture children; we are meant to be a bit more padded. and if your body leans that way naturally, then all the more reasonable to allow it to be like that if you feel happy and healthy as you are.

    if you want to work on your ratios, you should be able to find some exercises to tone particular areas. working on your pecs can make your chest a bit more prominent, and i think there are certain exercises you can do for your obliques for making your waist smaller. then doing certain glut exercises can make your hips wider.

    other than that, i'm sorry your parents are so obsessed with your body image. they sound like the unhealthy ones. perhaps you could go to a thinner doctor and get clearance from them?

  8. #78
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Sounds like your parents have serious issues.

    Like you said when you gain weight it improves your hip to waist ratio so according to about the most objective measure you can get, your making yourself more beautiful when you gain weight.

    Pretty much throughout history in pretty much all cultures figures like yours (and larger) were celebrated as the pinnacle of beauty. This is the natural ideal of female beauty, men are supposed to be lean and muscular and women are supposed to be soft and curvy. Being "toned" is modern nonsense, embrace your softness. A lot of men pay lip service to the thin ideal to conform to society but that's where you get these grotesque stick figures with massive fake boobs and bum implants, there's a kind of cognitive dissonance there where their minds will concede pretty much all the fat off a women's body to the cultural ideal of thinness but their bodies will refuse to give up the most cherished feminine fat stores (the boobs and bum).

    As for the health side of the argument, even if you were overweight (which you aren't), being overweight isn't even that bad, this:

    http://www.nutritionj.com/content/pd...-2891-10-9.pdf

    pretty much debunks everything.
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  9. #79
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queen Kat View Post
    And I thought I was just being a drama queen for thinking this wasn't normal behaviour. But I don't want to enlist in the military. I like being in college too much (even though my life isn't exactly the true college life ).
    Take your folks to the next Rubens exhibition. Surely it's not hard to find paintings by the Dutch master artists of the Renaissance in the Netherlands?

  10. #80
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Im not gonna lie, I thought you were fishing for compliments at first so I passed this thread up. But then I figured you haven't been the type so far, so I came back to it.

    No. You are not obese. I think that the only way to stop the nagging of your parents is to tell them to stfu. Seriously, a stern, "I like my body the way it is. If I wanted to change it, I would have by now. I'm not going to date, kiss, cuddle, and have sex with any of you. So your opinion of how I look doesn't really mean shit. Gtfo my nuts or stop talking to me altogether" speech would cut that shit out, and if it doesn't, I'd consider pulling away from them more and stop talking to them until they can learn to hold a conversation without this topic.. it has obviously done some damage to your self image to even consider changing yourself for people you aren't ever going to date or interact with on an intimate level.
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