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  1. #1
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    Default Healthiest Blueberry Muffins In The World

    You will not need eggs, butter, margarine, buttermilk, or even very much vegetable oil to make these. And they will still be delicious (unless your tastebuds are WEAK and need 400 calories of nutritional emptiness and sugar in the muffins you eat in order to be satisfied).

    YOU WILL NEED

    dry stuff
    2 ¾ cup multigrain flour
    1 cup rolled oatmeal
    ¾ cup wheat bran
    1/4 cup cane sugar
    1/4 cup Ovaltine
    5 tsp milled ground flax seed
    1 tbsp baking powder
    2 tsp baking soda
    Pinch of salt (small one okay)


    fruits
    2 cup frozen blueberries
    1 banana
    1 cup thing of applesauce- unsweetened

    liquids
    Splash (couple tbsp) veg. oil
    1.5 tsp vanilla
    couple tbsp water



    HOW TO DO IT


    (1) Preheat oven to 375 deg. Celcius
    (2) Grease the pan
    (3) Microwave 1 cup skim milk for 30 seconds, then add Couple tsp lemon juice. Stir it and let it sit. After you’ve finished mixing the dry ingredients, stir it and microwave it for 30 seconds again. Hopefully it’s clumpy. (this is supposed to replace buttermilk)
    (4) Thoroughly mix these dry ingredients together:
    2 ¾ cup multigrain flour
    1 cup rolled oatmeal
    ¾ cup wheat bran
    1/4 cup cane sugar
    1/4 cup ovaltine
    5 tsp milled ground flax seed
    1 tbsp baking powder
    2 tsp baking soda
    Pinch of salt
    2 cup frozen blueberries

    (5) Blend these ingredients with your clumpy milk until very pureed:
    1 banana
    1 cup thing of applesauce- unsweetened
    couple tbsp water

    (6) Add the stuff you blended to your dry ingredients. Then add:
    Splash (couple tbsp) veg. oil
    1.5 tsp vanilla

    (7) Mix it all together very well. Don’t worry, it’s supposed to look like shit.
    (8) Bake for about 30minutes @ 375 deg.celcius. Will make about 15 medium-sized muffins.

    Note: adding stuff like cocoa powder, or unsweetened dried coconut, or honey, or even cinnamon would probably be nice with it .. don’t go overboard with it though, esp. with the honey
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

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  2. #2
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Default

    Thank you. I love muffins, and I love blueberries more.

    You've been away for a long time. Now I know that time was all spent searching for the healthiest blueberry muffins in the world.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  3. #3
    Oberon
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    Oooooh... people will like niffer's muffins.

  4. #4
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Default

    niffernifferniffer! so nice to see you again!

    The recipe sounds a lot like the "plug in your own ingredients" one I use, which is my favorite. This much dry stuff, this much sweetener, this much applesauce or oil (BTW you can always sub applesauce for oil in any sweet baked item, it works great), whatever add-ins you want. I love making muffins, it's pretty much the only thing I bake well.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  5. #5
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Holy freaking Wowzers!

    Thank you SO much for this recipe!!!
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  6. #6
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    Default

    Nice to see you again MagiPor and Ivy! Lolol I basically just looked at existing healthy muffin recipes online, then added in even more substitutions for some of the ingredients.

    Oberon, hopefully all of Redwall will enjoy them.
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    holy shit am I a feeler?
    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

  7. #7
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    Nice to see you again MagiPor and Ivy! Lolol I basically just looked at existing healthy muffin recipes online, then added in even more substitutions for some of the ingredients.
    Awww.

    I was hoping it involved many a criss-crossing journey around the world, by land, sea and sky, combing through deserts and scaling jungled mountains. Scriptures would be translated and idols would be stolen with the enlisted help of bedouins and witchdoctors. And all of this would be done in a race against a cadre of satanist Nazis to obtain the recipe for the healthiest blueberry muffins in the world.

    Oh well. It still looks good.

    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    Oberon, hopefully all of Redwall will enjoy them.
    Wow. Somehow I never made a conection in my mind between Oberan and Redwall. Wow.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  8. #8
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    Awww.

    I was hoping it involved many a criss-crossing journey around the world, by land, sea and sky, combing through deserts and scaling jungled mountains. Scriptures would be translated and idols would be stolen with the enlisted help of bedouins and witchdoctors. And all of this would be done in a race against a cadre of satanist Nazis to obtain the recipe for the healthiest blueberry muffins in the world.

    Oh well. It still looks good.
    I was about to, but my intuition told me that witchdoctors and Nazis don't know how to make muffins.
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    holy shit am I a feeler?
    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

  9. #9
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    I was about to, but my intuition told me that witchdoctors and Nazis don't know how to make muffins.
    I agree about the Nazi. I disagree about the witchdoctors. You haven't had a muffin until you've had shrunken goat head muffins.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  10. #10
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    Yeah I wouldn't let any Nazis near my ovens. >_>

    Shrunken goat head? I thought my asian grandma made weird animal bodyparts dishes, but that sounds a little more SAVOURY than usual.
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    holy shit am I a feeler?
    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

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