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  1. #1
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Default Eating Disorders

    anyone have any experience with these? My room mate- I'm sure and as are my other two room mates has an eating disorder.
    She admits to starving herself then when you ask why she's like "Sorry I don't want to weigh 300 lbs" She had to do a food diary for a wellness class and the teacher commented on it that she should get professional help and we were looking through it last night, and some days were nothing but water, coffee, vodka and then on the days she does eat it's like I feel guilty for eating. She has to know that she's killing herself. How do I and the other room mates convince her that she may have a problem and that her teacher isn't being an asshole but might actually be trying to help. So she has to talk to him, but she won't because she doesn't want to be left in a room alone so I'm going with her, but I don't understand. So I want to help, but I know I can't really force her to anything. I don't know what answers I'm looking for. Maybe an understanding of how any one could do this too themselves. She's also super skinny so I don't know. Oh and she's an alcoholic but that's another day, not that it doesn't terrify me that she starves herself then drinks heavily.

  2. #2
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    Is there anything really chaotic going on in her life? Maybe you can focus on trying to help her with that instead of the actual disorder? She may be more receptive. I think I remember you saying you had an INFJ roommate. Is this the INFJ? If so, it could be similar to my experience - the feeling of other people's feelings (especially when the other people are out of control) definitely contributed to my eating disorder symptoms.

    I'll admit, I was diagnosed with an eating disorder while in high school. The doctor thinks I had been exhibiting symptoms of it throughout my childhood, though - most likely starting around the time of my parent's divorce. I would stop eating, mentally count calories (the curse of being able to add in my head?), and pretty much just control every single morsel that went into my body. I would start to get physically sick over the thought of eating the fat in foods and other really nutty things.

    Why? Because I had absolutely no control over anything going on in my life. It was a period of time when my parents couldn't keep it together and us kids were left to hold up the fort while they childishly fought. I also had a lot of negative feelings being thrown around & the people closest to me were a mess. My natural ability to feel the feelings of others made things a million times more chaotic for me. My younger brother started showing signs of OCD at this point (he's on medication for it now). I managed to keep my mind from falling apart with the rest of them, but I started getting really weird with food. Whenever someone would question why I kept losing significant amounts of weight (I entered college weighing less than 100lbs), I would get VERY defensive. The way I eventually got past it was by speaking with a therapist about the actual issues at hand & finding ways to gain control in healthy ways. Still to this day, though, when things get really chaotic, I tend to try and gain control through food - but the difference is that I'll catch myself and usually go back to my therapist to sort out what's really going on.

  3. #3
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    yeah it is the INFJ one. She is a bit of control freak and perfectionist. I mean they can be good qualities, but it's too the point that it's not really healthy. Also she's talking about transferring to another school since this is an art school very limited in what you can major in. She wants to be music therapist, which is fine. I hope she finds what she wants to do. I know she's estranged from her father doesn't like her mother and is depressed.

    She does count calories I was eating lipton noodles and she smelled them and then later I hadn't thrown away the package and she was inhaling the fumes from the seasoning, and was like "I wish this[smelling] could count as a meal." So yeah. And looked at the back the package to decide if whether or not their were too many calories for her to even try.

    It's like she keeps everything bottled up and puts on this perfect image or what she perceives as perfect, then when she gets drunk we find out how she really feels about something.

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    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
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    Most people with eating disorders are perfectionists, and the motivation behind it usually isn't losing weight; it's more like having control of your life when you feel like you don't.

    It was mentioned in the above post, but I just thought I would label it as an actual cause of disorders. I sat in on a panel of 3 Eating Disorders Counselors/Clinicians and I learned a LOT of valuable information from it. (<-- Psychology Major.)
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  5. #5
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    You should point out that not eating enough slows down her metabolism and reduces muscle tissue (which in turn, reduces fat burning) so she will put on weight faster upon eating normally if she continues to do so.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  6. #6
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wedekit View Post
    Most people with eating disorders are perfectionists, and the motivation behind it usually isn't losing weight; it's more like having control of your life when you feel like you don't.
    Bingo!

    More than 'perfectionist' I would say they are filled with anxiety and this causes them to try to control what they eat but they'll never be at peace so it's a never ending cycle. Kinda like binge or compulsive eating, the emptiness or desire is emotional or basically NOT physical and cannot be filled with food.

    It's also a cultural/American thing as I never really experienced it in the pathological sense until college. It was VERY common.

    Unfortunately, you and your friends alone cannot turn around someone with an eating disorder. They really do need to see a professional. Your friend has probably lost the ability to actually "see" herself.

    Other than an intervention and continuing support, maybe you can try to sneak her food so that at least her physical needs are being met with the professional tends to her mental/emotional?

  7. #7
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    You should point out that not eating enough slows down her metabolism and reduces muscle tissue (which in turn, reduces fat burning) so she will put on weight faster upon eating normally if she continues to do so.
    We' ve told her that but she won't listen.

  8. #8
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    You should point out that not eating enough slows down her metabolism and reduces muscle tissue (which in turn, reduces fat burning) so she will put on weight faster upon eating normally if she continues to do so.
    THe thing about eating disorders is that they are not logical. Not in the slightest. So you can tell them facts, you can lay out bread crumbs of consequences for their actions...
    hell, my friend who was(is?) anorexic is an INTJ! And still, the only thing that helped her was spending her summer in the hospital with professional help because of her eating disorder. Doesn't that suck.

    none of it will help them. They need serious help from professionals.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
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  9. #9
    Senior Member pocket lint's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    THe thing about eating disorders is that they are not logical. Not in the slightest. So you can tell them facts, you can lay out bread crumbs of consequences for their actions...
    hell, my friend who was(is?) anorexic is an INTJ! And still, the only thing that helped her was spending her summer in the hospital with professional help because of her eating disorder. Doesn't that suck.

    none of it will help them. They need serious help from professionals.
    My INTJ friend is also anorexic. Over the past two years, she has been seeing therapists, nutritionists, and other professionals.... she said she is aware of how her behavior is not logical, but she can't help it. She gets irritated when people tell her that she doesn't need to starve herself to look pretty... that's not her motivation at all. She said that starving herself gives her a natural high, and that there is a great amount of satisfaction from having control over her body. She's still struggling with the problem, but luckily, her bf (INFP) is there for her also... LOL, I had them both take an MBTI test. I think love made things better for her, as corny as it sounds. Also, the doctor told her if she didn't get her period back soon, she would jeopardize her chances to get pregnant in the future. It sounded like that scared her enough for her to try and get back on track with a healthier diet.

  10. #10
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    I can see the attraction of it for an INTJ (a female at least).
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

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