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  1. #1
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Default Why do people get shy and stressed?

    I looked into this, firstly by wondering do animals get shy?

    Various responses I got from the internet ranged from personality, genetics and abuse, latter being that distrust and shyness inherently occur as a defensive reaction to the abuse from people.

    Are shy and softly spoken people born shy or exposed to abusive behaviour that manifested into shyness? Are there trigger points, hereditary, learned.

    [youtube="GMo7qTef0II"]Epigenetics 9/11[/youtube]

    Intrigued.

    Abnormal cortisol levels, affect on the cortisol system in childrens development. Abnormal stress hormones by listening to their parents.

    [youtube="eYrQ0EhVCYA"] Chromatin, Histones & Cathepsin[/youtube]

    Epigenetic inheritance
    Forms of 'soft' or epigenetic inheritance within organisms have been suggested as neo-Lamarckian in nature by such scientists as Eva Jablonka and Marion J. Lamb. In addition to 'hard' or genetic inheritance, involving the duplication of genetic material and its segregation during meiosis, there are other hereditary elements that pass into the germ cells also. These include things like methylation patterns in DNA and chromatin marks, both of which regulate the activity of genes. These are considered "Lamarckian" in the sense that they are responsive to environmental stimuli and can differentially affect gene expression adaptively, with phenotypic results that can persist for many generations in certain organisms. Although the reality of epigenetic inheritance is not doubted (as countless experiments have validated it), its significance to the evolutionary process is uncertain. Most neo-Darwinians consider epigenetic inheritance mechanisms to be little more than a specialized form of phenotypic plasticity, with no potential to introduce evolutionary novelty into a species lineage.

  2. #2
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I don't think being shy is always the result of abuse. Because I've been shy my whole life and never was really abused, maybe for some people this is the case. Though I do get stressed pretty easily, but I don't know why that is, it could be that I score in the maladaptive range for anxiety and depression and that could be a contributing factor. I haven't watched the videos yet, but I'll do that later and if I have more to add or anything to correct I will.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  3. #3
    Junior Member Carnallace's Avatar
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    I'm a very shy person. I've actually been diagnosed with social phobia, (which some people consider 'different' from shyness), but to me, they're one in the same aside from the former having a more serious sounding name. :]
    I was never abused; physically or emotionally. In school, I was never bullied to an extent where it became intolerable. My parents are compassionate people and rarely ever punished me.
    But still, Iíve been shy since I can remember. Even around relatives.
    I avoided conversation whenever I could. I remember once I even asked my mom if a person could forget how to talk, because I rarely held a decent length conversation.
    In the last few years of grade school I began breaking myself out a tad, but I was never able to fully let go of the fear of what people thought of me. And once I was in middle school, any improvement I had made went 12 steps backward.

    That fear was not pre-disposed. From early on, my parents saw me as a mature person. They treated me like one of their friends; telling me their issues, talking about their jobs, friends, stressors. They inserted this image in my head of this perfect, intelligent, responsible, obedient child. Since perfection is unattainable, I began feeling embarrassed, and even afraid of making a mistake, of acting like a 5 year old should, and even of saying the wrong thing. Since mistakes and stupid words are a natural part of being a human, I started avoiding the cause all together. If I didnít put myself out there, if I avoided all attention, then I wouldnít receive negative attention or any feedback at all.

    I believe that abuse, environment, and circumstance all play a part in the way a person interacts with other people. For me, I feel that it was my environment, though a mostly positive one, that influenced my overwhelming reservation.

    Shyness is a reaction to many things. And actually, as far as abuse, some victims of continual abuse are often very outspoken and present themselves as someone uncaring and forthright because they are afraid of others hurting them, so they make themselves unapproachable. Which I suppose is the same as a shy person? They are avoidant because they donít want attention.

    So, really, I suppose itís a combination of things that lead to a personsí shyness.

  4. #4
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    I think the human mind is so complex that when it comes to understanding the roots of shyness, there isn't really a single answer..

    If we look at multiple births (ex- in the case of Jon & Kate Plus 8), sextuplets, quintuplets, twins, we understand that the kids all came from the same womb. Some psychologists argue that babies tend to adapt to the environment in the womb, and so they develop their personality traits based on that, and may or may not include other things such as genetics.

    However, when they all come out, they're all very different/similar in their own ways. Some are more shy, others are more outgoing, and it's sometimes apparent from day 1 or throughout development/lifespan.

    I have a baby cousin, who didn't start talking until he was 3. We almost thought he was going mute. He was adored (not abused from what we all can see), but EXTREMELY shy.. He's 14 now? Still as shy as he was when he was a little tot. Personality is soo interesting!

  5. #5
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I don't think being shy is always the result of abuse. Because I've been shy my whole life and never was really abused, maybe for some people this is the case. Though I do get stressed pretty easily, but I don't know why that is, it could be that I score in the maladaptive range for anxiety and depression and that could be a contributing factor. I haven't watched the videos yet, but I'll do that later and if I have more to add or anything to correct I will.
    Same been shy since life and am wondering whether this is influenced from my upbringing or earlier. Which is why the gene code talk, say if your parents or grandparents were part of wars like the holocaust, would there be some generational effect going on that when you become born or listen to their stories you are more prone to get anxious, fearful, shy, stressed, sensitive to certain events and pressures.

    And wouldn't I love to change the gene expression or response that is making me more susceptible to anxiety shyness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Carnallace View Post
    I believe that abuse, environment, and circumstance all play a part in the way a person interacts with other people. For me, I feel that it was my environment, though a mostly positive one, that influenced my overwhelming reservation.

    Shyness is a reaction to many things. And actually, as far as abuse, some victims of continual abuse are often very outspoken and present themselves as someone uncaring and forthright because they are afraid of others hurting them, so they make themselves unapproachable. Which I suppose is the same as a shy person? They are avoidant because they donít want attention.

    So, really, I suppose itís a combination of things that lead to a personsí shyness.
    Then that would be extremes, reacting in aggressive or submissive ways. I leaned towards the abuse as a factor since this has shaped my life. In each instance it is a defensive reaction as a coping mechanism to deal with the stressors that affect a person in different ways.

    Then would introversion depend on how forthright or reserved a person is as opposed to just being shy?

  7. #7
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I was not abused, but I feel almost certain that my parent's divorce triggered my shyness. Supposedly, I was a "shy" baby, but I was two when my parents divorced, and how much of my personality was accurately remembered before that is questionable. I know it sounds cliche, but I carried a real fear of rejection and getting close to people because of my dad leaving.

    I also think that introverts may be more prone to shyness. I realize they are not one and the same, but an introvert is likely to prefer a lot of time alone, which can lead to them not developing social skills as well as others, which can lead to them feeling/being awkward when interacting with people, which can lead to them avoiding interaction, which just leads to a vicious cycle. Breaking the cycle for me has been making myself interact with people and just gritting my teeth through any awkwardness. I've also become very observant of how other's interact, as a sort of study. I suppose that's why I like to people watch in public. At the least, it's comforting to see other people be awkward . I think for an NF, the added self pressure to be perfect is very real.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Viv View Post
    I think the human mind is so complex that when it comes to understanding the roots of shyness, there isn't really a single answer..

    If we look at multiple births (ex- in the case of Jon & Kate Plus 8), sextuplets, quintuplets, twins, we understand that the kids all came from the same womb. Some psychologists argue that babies tend to adapt to the environment in the womb, and so they develop their personality traits based on that, and may or may not include other things such as genetics.

    However, when they all come out, they're all very different/similar in their own ways. Some are more shy, others are more outgoing, and it's sometimes apparent from day 1 or throughout development/lifespan.

    I have a baby cousin, who didn't start talking until he was 3. We almost thought he was going mute. He was adored (not abused from what we all can see), but EXTREMELY shy.. He's 14 now? Still as shy as he was when he was a little tot. Personality is soo interesting!
    In the video talks about PTSD for women who give birth after September 11 and the children born have their cortisol system affected in response to the mothers stress. In that same respect children mayn't be abused in any sense but have gene's passed on from ancestors that might have been in abusive environments and these conditions translate to the baby's health.

    Being shy as an adaptive strategy from birth? How are personalities predetermined, would having shy parents create stronger shyness in their children or the total opposite, from further ancestor genes, that shape the way a child reacts to certain stimuli.

  9. #9
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    Well, my biological father beat my mother up while she was pregnant with me. She had to leave him, they were married, got a divorce before I was old enough to remember him. He bashed her head into a wall. She almost had a miscarriage.

    I'd say that's where my anxiety disorder stems from. All of that extra cortisol in utero.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I was not abused, but I feel almost certain that my parent's divorce triggered my shyness. Supposedly, I was a "shy" baby, but I was two when my parents divorced, and how much of my personality was accurately remembered before that is questionable. I know it sounds cliche, but I carried a real fear of rejection and getting close to people because of my dad leaving.

    I also think that introverts may be more prone to shyness. I realize they are not one and the same, but an introvert is likely to prefer a lot of time alone, which can lead to them not developing social skills as well as others, which can lead to them feeling/being awkward when interacting with people, which can lead to them avoiding interaction, which just leads to a vicious cycle. Breaking the cycle for me has been making myself interact with people and just gritting my teeth through any awkwardness. I've also become very observant of how other's interact, as a sort of study. I suppose that's why I like to people watch in public. At the least, it's comforting to see other people be awkward . I think for an NF, the added self pressure to be perfect is very real.
    Having your parents divorce added to your stress and yeah I can see how that can affect how you react to situations after. A fear of abandonment and loss from having the most important people in your life leave. There is nothing cliche about that, its a total human feeling towards loss.

    I have to agree that introverts tend to be shyer than extroverts. It is the inner machinations and landscape as opposed to the outer surrounds that appeal, definitely not one and the same.

    So would you say this is more learned behaviour in response to stress as opposed to environmental or genetic influences. This awkwardness and I hear ya, I had the same problem, breaking a cycle to be sociable, interpersonal and interactive rather than observant, reserved and on the side lines.

    Would this depend on experience alone or co-factor in the development of our responses according to neglect and perceptions.

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