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  1. #21
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by avolkiteshvara View Post
    Gotta include some negative conditioning for negative thoughts.

    Both positive and negative Cog/Behavioral.
    Ah we wont do any of that for quite some time... only the possitive....

  2. #22
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    OK my 3 for this week...

    Last week ended with me feelig really anxious about things at work, and this week was really calm and fine. I've identified a good creative opportunity which I'm quite excited about. I managed to kick an INTJ guy I was interested in, into touch, although I might try and mend it, if he ever comes back online. I also made contact with an old friend who I havne't chatted to for a long time, so feeling warm and snuggly and lovey dovey about that

    So a mix week...

    Some anxiety although less
    Warm fussies...
    Contentment
    Annoyed

    My wins:
    Managed not to get annoyed with someone at work who is really negative
    Ordered some new specs... been putting that off for a long while
    Managed to remember to wear something appropriate to work on Friday... which is pretty good for me.

    Bought myself some more flowers - so I thnk I need a better reward next week.

    My reward for next week is.... hmm difficult, I need to get better to dream these up.... Maybe buying a coffee and siting in the coffee shop at the end of the week on Friday on the way home.... I never really do that and it would be a nice way to open the weekend.

  3. #23
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Realized how much of how I was feeling was dependent on getting a good night's sleep and just getting back on top of work. Done and slowly getting back into routine (how funny that I've spent so much of my life avoiding routine and now it is exactly what I wish I had a better handle on for feeling well and warm and fuzzy towards all and sundry).

    Had a really good week. Had friends visiting from out of town. Cleaned my place and cooked a large dinner today. Always makes me happy to have all these lovely people around my table.

    Got some writing done. Enjoyed teaching. Got complimented by a student on my accent - it's happened before but am still not sure how to react.

    Felt:
    Hopeful
    Content
    Sometimes anxious when thinking of how much I have to get done before I travel again or big decisions that will be made over the holidays.

    Some of my favorite moments are filled with a mixture of mischief and anticipation- sort of like Ne is just doing its thing, letting me know that adventures are just around the corner. Had several of these.

    Wins:
    1. Did not let the anxiety about writing become a writing block. Worked through it.
    2. Stayed on top of paperwork (big win!)
    3. Got home cleaned and a good meal cooked with very little worry. Enjoyed doing it!

    Reward: This week really has been its own reward. I am buying new shoes for work anyway!

  4. #24
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    Got complimented by a student on my accent - it's happened before but am still not sure how to react.
    Why say thank you - thats all. I know what you mean about taking a compliment, I'm only just about able to do it myself.... You sound like you have had a generally contented week... but even though you bought some shoe, try doing something for you yourslef... to make you feel specail, coffee in a shop without rush, or a walk in the quiet or something....


    Well my week was good I think, I was still a bit anxious at the begining of the week but that seemed to evaporate, got lots of organising going on for an event next week, and it's going well, and folks are doing really good.

    I got really ticked off with the INTJ guy i've been interested in for a few month last week, and I thew him a life line at the begining of the week, but no takers until I emailed him and asked if he wanted to be kept on my MSN or not... INTJ COMMUNICATE please.

    So I'm thinking if we sort things out there is some promise maybe in the weeks ahead.

    Feeling:
    Anxous a wee bit
    Happy - fair bit
    Content - a fair bit indulged (picked up my new specs, and bought a new shirt today)

    I'm spending my formerly fag money on cloths for a few weeks as I'm coming off the stop smoking tables - so might as well back it up with possitive reinforcments too.

    Wins for the week:
    Managing to curb my anxiety of chap from work
    Learned how to make things fly in PowerPoint (and also set up hyperlinks - so I'm feeling smug)
    And I cleaned the loo today (it was needing a proper descale - I'm not a natrual housewife).

    My reward hmmmmm I've been horribly over indulged this week - maybe I will buy a magazine tomorrow on the way to brunch.

  5. #25
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Thanks for making this thread Tinkerbell,
    Berb...

    Honey, you need to post, and if you are struggling with the 3 wins, find me as many as you can, and let yourself have the reward for one win...

    Could be anything.... Most importantly you check....

  6. #26
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    Why say thank you - thats all. I know what you mean about taking a compliment, I'm only just about able to do it myself.... You sound like you have had a generally contented week... but even though you bought some shoe, try doing something for you yourslef... to make you feel specail, coffee in a shop without rush, or a walk in the quiet or something....
    No, not troubled by the compliment per se but the type. I am really glad the student enjoys the class (rest of the conversation) and my teaching style - that's always great to hear. It was the accent compliment itself that I'm never sure quite how to react to. Should I say thank you for something that is not really a skill or something I'm doing related to the class. It's odd getting a personal compliment. It's so much easier reacting to a knowledge or skill-based one. Also, the whole accent thing is complicated. It's like I don't see myself as standing out as different any more but then when I'm reminded that I do, even in a kind or positive manner, it's a bit weird. No offense taken, of course but I need to figure out how to react to what I think will almost always be part of how I am perceived.

    Thanks for the suggestion on the reward - I agree, the shoes were nice but it would be better to do something indulgent for myself. I'm stealing your idea and getting flowers this week. Also, putting time aside to do some pleasure reading - have been working too much, including all day today!

    Wins for the week:
    Managing to curb my anxiety of chap from work
    Learned how to make things fly in PowerPoint (and also set up hyperlinks - so I'm feeling smug)
    And I cleaned the loo today (it was needing a proper descale - I'm not a natrual housewife).

    My reward hmmmmm I've been horribly over indulged this week - maybe I will buy a magazine tomorrow on the way to brunch.
    for progress. I just taught myself how to imbed videos in powerpoint from a youtube video. That was super cool as well!

    What magazine - make it a good one. Don't get the Economist or I'll have to report you to, well I guess that would be you. Even so.

  7. #27
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    ewe no intentions of the ecconomist, I mean something rather trashy with lots of adverts in it... maybe Glamour or Bizzar... but not Red or anything intellectual... I like to unplug at the weekend and my week is hard core with intellectual reads.

    I do enjoy being able to do new things in powerpoint, I managed to get a logo/graphic of a airplane to fly across the screen and do a loop-de-loop - Yea

    Yea I can see what you mean on the compliment thing, if it's not a skill/aptitude based thing it makes it a bit difficult to respond...

    PS my flowers are still alive - such a great treat because they last so many days... love lillies

    Well I'm hoping Berb manages to swing by, I know she was actualyl away last week.

    Have a good one, and enjoy those flowers when you buy them

  8. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    Realized how much of how I was feeling was dependent on getting a good night's sleep and just getting back on top of work.
    I need a bit of that. I'll give this thing a try, I'm in serious need of it.

    This week:
    Stressed/Anxious: 50%
    Frustrated with myself: 20%
    Happy: 10%
    Excited: 10%
    Calm/content: 10%

    (I'm never stressed or anxious normally, but am going for a new course, then am not sure it is the direction I really want to go, then thinking about possible futures with each choice, then thinking I'll be poor if I go a certain way, but less happy if I go another. Decision times are good for me, but can drive me nuts.)

    Reward: go to the beach for a few days (summer is approaching, yay!):
    1. get the information I need to choose future
    2. write something as a test, even if I am not applying for journalism course
    3. get sleep patterns right and exercise more.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  9. #29
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Actually this week had been peachy, I seem to have lost my anxiety and am getting very unwound up.

    I was pleased that I got a lot done this week too.

    the INTJ is bugging me, he wanted to be kept on my MSN list with a view he would get next connection last Tues, but nothing more from him - so fed up about that.

    Wins for the weak... loads, I got a job sold in (something I want to get done), got co-funding for two other peices of work, remembered to get my boots heeled today, picked up my glasses. My session at a conference went very well. lots of possitives (both recognised and unrecognised... loved them all).

    My treat was I bought a bottle of pearly nail polish.

    How did you do.... (I'll dream a reward up)

  10. #30
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Ways to promote healthy self-esteem?

    Mind. Body. Spirit.

    Mind- do fun things. Learn something new- a dish you always wanted to learn how to create, but never had the time, money or chance to. Learn how to dance, sing, act. Read up on things that interest you. Read up on things that challenge you. Do math problems every once in a while. Play Sodoku. Exercise the brain in whatever way you can.

    Body- Be good to it. Eat fresh foods. Drink plenty of water. Eat antioxidants. Keep it simple, light, and nutritious as much as possible, then spoil yourself with junk food in small amounts.

    Spirit- Be one with nature (even if it means you're just walking along the beach, and that's good enough). Look at the stars at night. Realize how insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things, and how connected we are in this vast universe. Taking photographs is also a pretty zen experience, I think.

    Notice how all these tend to focus on building self-esteem internally? Finding the will-power to get up and accomplish something that stems from within? It's about nurturing our personal needs and motivations.

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