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  1. #11
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    How about a few beers.

  2. #12
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    How about a few beers.
    slippy is this your reward?

  3. #13
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    check in for the week...

    Most of the week I had pretty low anxiety... until yesterday then it went off the chart.

    I was loved up on Thursday - which is exceptional for me... and insecure earlier in the week... so a week of highs and lows.

    My three tiny wins...
    I may a person fly in PowerPoint - yea me...
    I manage to make it through the summer without working without serious financial screw ups (which is probably too big for here, but hey I was impressed).
    I coped with weak two a work without any serious stuff up....

    I got my reward, but kept it low key and got three stems of Lillies which are beutiful, low key because I don't know if I will be around next weekend.... they still need to open so I will enjoy them all next week

    OK my week ahead...I thought about getting a manicure next weekend, but to be honest I always find the butcher my nails... so I need to dream one up and gt back to you.... hmmmm

    How did you guys do?

    Just to give you the big picture... we will be doing this every week for a good while and then be adding to it... but the main thing is getting you in the habit of valuing your contributions to your own life without belittling them.

  4. #14
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Kind of still unclear on what a mini-win is...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #15
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Tinkerbell - just following up without judgment. Did you go out for drinks? Will you be doing that sometime?

    At my end:
    1. Cleaned room. Feel so much better about my place. Yay!
    2. Got quite a bit of work done yesterday which is an achievement given the mental and physical exhaustion I feel from travel and having my sleep cycle off.
    3. Said no to something fun for Sunday because it would be two fun things that day which in my own view becomes a form of escapism and anxiety creating instead of enjoyable. Now I can work in the morning and take the evening off!

    Tackling revisions tomorrow.

  6. #16
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Kind of still unclear on what a mini-win is...
    Well its what ever you think you did that you would normally forget or be bad at... bad habit breakers or things you would forget...

    It could be remembering to pick up the dry cleaning or put out the garbage on the right day or at all... or pay a bill or something... not running out of milk etc...

    I think mine were a bit bit for mini wins but I'v just started a new job so small stuff isn't a big focus... but hey I gave myself the flowers all the same...

    Basically order for the week is to pick a reward... mine was buying flowers (could be a manicure, giving yourself 1/2 to drink the coffee in the coffee shop, go out for a long walk).... what ever the reward is you need to exprience it with a presnce of mind... so you get the most out of it...

    Once you have your reward set, you come back next weekend and let us know if you can find three things you did well during the week (the smaller the thing the better). Basically we are trying to build the habit of valuing small achievements as part of your nomal life... it takes a while to get into it... some weeks you will be in a state of "I sulk" others it will be really easy, right now focus on winning your reward...

    In a few weeks time once the habit starts we will make some headway into ways we block self esteem.... I'm no expert I'm just trying to build better self valument habits..

  7. #17
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    Tinkerbell - just following up without judgment. Did you go out for drinks? Will you be doing that sometime? At my end:
    1. Cleaned room. Feel so much better about my place. Yay!
    2. Got quite a bit of work done yesterday which is an achievement given the mental and physical exhaustion I feel from travel and having my sleep cycle off.
    3. Said no to something fun for Sunday because it would be two fun things that day which in my own view becomes a form of escapism and anxiety creating instead of enjoyable. Now I can work in the morning and take the evening off!

    Tackling revisions tomorrow.
    No my reward wasn't a few drink, my reward was to buy myself some flowers... which yes I did and one of them opened this morning (you see flowers are a big treat because you get a mini reward every time a flower opens)


    Now you have your 3 wins, what is your reward... nothing too big, we're trying to build good habits that don't require a change of life....

    Also pick a reward for the week ahead....



    The cycle - route map first few weeks
    • pick a reward
    • end of week - report 3 mini wins
    • reward yourself and pick next weeks reward
    • If you are OK about doing it publically report how you have been emotionally in the past week.



    After we've begun building that into our normal life we will tackle blocks etc... so be adding to the cycle (not replacing it)... the cycle needs to become a personal habit.

  8. #18
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    For me:

    My treat.... next weekend I'll buy myself some flowers if I clock up my wins...

    This week I will look for mini wins one of which may be not bailing on catching up with someone for drinks.
    This is what I was referring to. You are such an ENP, my friend, forgetting what you wrote a few days ago

    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    No my reward wasn't a few drink, my reward was to buy myself some flowers... which yes I did and one of them opened this morning (you see flowers are a big treat because you get a mini reward every time a flower opens)


    Now you have your 3 wins, what is your reward... nothing too big, we're trying to build good habits that don't require a change of life....

    Also pick a reward for the week ahead....



    The cycle - route map first few weeks
    • pick a reward
    • end of week - report 3 mini wins
    • reward yourself and pick next weeks reward
    • If you are OK about doing it publically report how you have been emotionally in the past week.



    After we've begun building that into our normal life we will tackle blocks etc... so be adding to the cycle (not replacing it)... the cycle needs to become a personal habit.
    Will report tomorrow with reward and plan for next week.

  9. #19
    Senior Member avolkiteshvara's Avatar
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    Gotta include some negative conditioning for negative thoughts.

    Both positive and negative Cog/Behavioral.

  10. #20
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    This is what I was referring to. You are such an ENP, my friend, forgetting what you wrote a few days ago



    Will report tomorrow with reward and plan for next week.
    Ah I thought you meant Slippy's comment, Ok no she cancelled on me... she wasn't well.... Actually we were suppose to go out today but we didn't do it either, and have opted to be spontaneous - she is an ENFP.... LOL

    I need to think up a reward too..... hmmmm

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