Insomnia--Suggestions?

[Little Linguist]

Okay, let me be more specific. What I mean is that after working a twelve-hour day - when I should be sleepy - I can fall asleep, but I either dream in a crazy way and keep waking up OR I wake up at like four a.m.

On the other hand, this has only been going on for a week or so, so maybe it is just a phase.

Strangely enough, I can sleep brilliantly on the weekend. So I think it's a stress thing. Can anyone relate?

 

[Mole]

Okay, let me be more specific. What I mean is that after working a twelve-hour day - when I should be sleepy - I can fall asleep, but I either dream in a crazy way and keep waking up OR I wake up at like four a.m.

On the other hand, this has only been going on for a week or so, so maybe it is just a phase.

Strangely enough, I can sleep brilliantly on the weekend. So I think it's a stress thing. Can anyone relate?

Is it a problem for you to dream in a crazy way? And is it a problem to keep on waking up? Or is it a problem to wake at four a.m.?

How are these things a problem for you?

Or is it that you don't like the way you feel?

 

[Mole]

Can anyone relate?

I think this is the most interesting part of your post.

It may be you don't want to talk so much about insomnia rather you want to relate - you want someone to relate to.

This maybe your best way of forming a relationship - by talking about something else - putting the watchdog of the mind to sleep by misdirection - so that you can form a relationship surreptitiously.

Men compete with each other for money and power while women compete with each other for relationships.

So for both men and women deception is a good competitive strategy because deception works. And in this case, it is deception by misdirection.

Hey, you had me looking in the wrong place.

But although deception is a good competitive strategy, it comes at a price. And the price is trust.

 

[colmena]

I started sleeping when I removed myself from society.

There's a faint whiff of the The Periwig-Maker about my life. I am dead to the world, whatever I do.

I'd rather have cancer than be a full on insomniac.

 

[prplchknz]

When I'm stressed is when I often can't sleep, also if i have a headache I can not sleep either till it goes away.

 

[Little Linguist]

I think this is the most interesting part of your post.

It may be you don't want to talk so much about insomnia rather you want to relate - you want someone to relate to.

This maybe your best way of forming a relationship - by talking about something else - putting the watchdog of the mind to sleep by misdirection - so that you can form a relationship surreptitiously.

Men compete with each other for money and power while women compete with each other for relationships.

So for both men and women deception is a good competitive strategy because deception works. And in this case, it is deception by misdirection.

Hey, you had me looking in the wrong place.

But although deception is a good competitive strategy, it comes at a price. And the price is trust.

What was deceptive in my post? I talked about a problem, asked if anyone could relate in order to find a solution.

Perhaps I used the wrong word...

 

[spirilis]

What was deceptive in my post? I talked about a problem, asked if anyone could relate in order to find a solution.

Perhaps I used the wrong word...

Your (original) post sounded perfectly fine to me. Not sure what Victor was going on about.

----

I can't relate too well (I usually sleep like a dead rock, although sometimes I do wake up in the middle of the night, which can be very annoying) but I have a friend (also enfp, coincidentally) who has frequent insomnia. I believe it's usually stress-related for her, and/or physiological (illness or discomfort). The worst insomnia happens at certain times of the year which "trigger" past (bad) memories in her. I believe she's become more skilled with managing those situations but it's often a source of distress for her.

 

[Mole]

What was deceptive in my post? I talked about a problem, asked if anyone could relate in order to find a solution.

Perhaps I used the wrong word...

I'm shocked - you just talked about a problem, asked if anyone could relate in order to find a solution - simple, straightforward - how could anyone think otherwise?

How could anyone think you were deceptive - perhaps you just used the wrong word.

Wow!

You are just a simple, straightforward person - a person evolution has taken billions of years to fit for just for this moment.

Evolution has fitted us to lie from a very early age - in fact the moment a small child discovers they can lie, they are entering into their humanity.

Almost all animals practise deception, from camophlage to elaborate strategies of misdirection and everything in between. And so do we.

Deception works but it has a price, like everything else, and the price is self deception. The easiest way to deceive others is to deceive oneself first.

So you might say that deception is propaganda - and the only sin you can commit in propaganda is to believe your own propaganda. But we all do.

Deception and self deception are part of the human condition.

 

[Night]

Little Linguist - Victor isn't attacking you.

Interpret what he's saying.
Reading isn't enough.

 

[proteanmix]

Merged insomnia threads.

 

[prplchknz]

maybe we should have a new section called: I can't fucking sleep! and if someone doesn't help me fix this problem they might die!!

I may or may not be some what hostile when I haven't slept

 

[Jeffster]

You keep telling me about the external activities you do but you have not told me about any internal activities yet, even though I asked.

It may be you don't know what an internal activity is.

Yeah, I do, actually, but thanks, cowboy. I just went back and read your replies to me and you never asked me anything about internal activities, maybe you meant to, but just forgot.

There's not much to tell in that area, though, thinking about stuff, feeling stuff deeply, actively working the body on the inside.

 

[kelric]

Sure, you're lying in bed, tired and yet wide awake. You have tried several things such as structuring your sleep, exercising and prescriptions but nothing seems to work.

I can't help noticing all the things you have tried are external to yourself. So perhaps you might think of listening to yourself rather than controlling yourself by external means.

It seems to me you have learnt self control very well and are quite unwilling to give it up for periods of time. After all, when you go to sleep, you are no longer in control, you surrender to your unconscious. And hey, it looks after you quite well.

But you don't want to go to sleep and you don't know why. And you don't want to find out - you don't know how to find out.

So you just keep digging a deeper hole by external means when the answer may well be inside you.

But my guess is you don't want to know.

I'll excuse the patronizing response as a genuine offer to help - so thanks for that . I disagree with your premature diagnosis, however. You seem to think that I (and others in the thread that have mentioned having sleep trouble) have some sort of internal conflict that's eating me up, that I'm refusing to acknowledge it. Not the case, as far as I can tell - and I do reflect, meditate and think on such things. I do want to go to sleep. I love sleeping, dreaming, and all that comes along with it. No control issues associated with it. Do I have a little too much stress in my life? Probably, and it's likely a large contributor to my sleep trouble. But it centers around things that I'm not in a position to change at the moment, so I'm doing what I can.

I think that you're ignoring the possibility that lack of sleep can be due to many things - things that include physical conditions, neurological imbalances, lack of hormones etc. (note that none of these are psychological, another possibility). Are there cases where your whole "you've got some internal issue and are too weak, ignorant, and aggressively self-denying to deal with it, so listen to me, I have all the answers" idea might be correct? Sure, why not? But assuming that it's a major reason for sleep-deprivation in everyone seems a bit... well, short-sighted at best.

Such things are often complex, as those of us who've struggled with them well know. We just do the best we can. Again, thanks for your suggestions and attempts to help - it *is* appreciated. But your bedside manner could use a little work .

 

[Mole]

Sometimes distasteful

But your bedside manner could use a little work .

I'm not a therapist, I am a critic.

So rather than expecting a good bedside manner, expect criticism.

Also I write to meet my own needs, and sometimes when they are thwarted, I turn on my victim, usually in a superior patronising manner.

I am vinegar rather than honey.

An acquired taste, sometimes distasteful.

 

[colmena]

I'm not a therapist, I am a critic.

So rather than expecting a good bedside manner, expect criticism.

Also I write to meet my own needs, and sometimes when they are thwarted, I turn on my victim, usually in a superior patronising manner.

I am vinegar rather than honey.

An acquired taste, sometimes distasteful.

I was getting soft and cuddly vibes.

(for real)

 

[Mole]

Honey and Vinegar

I was getting soft and cuddly vibes.

(for real)

Look, Colmena, I may well be vinegar but I would love you to call me Honey, but only if it came from the depths of your heart.

 

[colmena]

I was thinking more teddy bear (the name Victor certainly helps). Honey is sticky. I don't like sticky.

 

[Mole]

I was thinking more teddy bear (the name Victor certainly helps). Honey is sticky. I don't like sticky.

Hey, call me Ted.

 

[Spartacuss]

Okay, let me be more specific. What I mean is that after working a twelve-hour day - when I should be sleepy - I can fall asleep, but I either dream in a crazy way and keep waking up OR I wake up at like four a.m.
Can anyone relate?

Yes. I went through months when I fell asleep easily but always woke up really early and could not go back to sleep. Depression is one cause. So is stress. Sleeping pills were useless. I had to fix what was bothering me. Until you get rid of the reason you are stressed you may not be guaranteed some good sleep. (assuming you're not bipolar)

 

[colmena]

DSPS may make more sense to some people.