Not sure I can give you any advice other than consulting a doctor. Some of the stuff sounds serious.
Originally Posted by Sona
..and you do sound like an alcoholic considering you thing you have to have it in order to enjoy yourself.
Check against these symptoms (taken from here)
* Alcohol abuse refers to excessive or problematic use with one or more of the following:
o Failure to fulfill major obligations at work, school, or home * Alcohol dependence refers to a more serious disorder and involves excessive or maladaptive use leading to 3 or more of the following:
o Recurrent use in situations where it is hazardous (such as driving a car or operating machinery)
o Legal problems
o Continued use of alcohol despite having social, family, or interpersonal problems caused by or worsened by drinking
o Tolerance changes (need for more to achieve desired effect, or achieving the effect with lesser amounts of alcohol)
o Withdrawal symptoms following a reduction or cessation of drinking (such as sweating, rapid pulse, tremors, insomnia, nausea, vomiting, hallucinations, agitation, anxiety, or seizures) or using alcohol to avoid withdrawal symptoms (for example, early morning drinking)
o Drinking more alcohol or drinking over a longer period of time than intended (loss of control)
o Inability to cut down or stop
o Spending a great deal of time drinking or recovering from its effects
o Giving up important social, occupational, or recreational activities
o Continuing to drink despite knowing alcohol use has caused or worsened problems