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  1. #1
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Default Nursing Homes and Assisted Living

    Does anyone have any experiences or advice they'd like to share about their encounters with assisted living, nursing homes, or long term treatment facilities?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
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  2. #2
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    I work for the Medicaid program in Florida. Although I have limited first hand experience with nursing homes, I have been to a few to see relatives in need. It is not the happiest of environments, it is usually somewhat institutional.

    If you have a relative who might require that level of care, either for a short duration or on an ongoing basis, look into whether or not your state has any HCBS (home and community based services) programs. Often, an elderly/disabled person can stay in their home with some help, like cooking, light cleaning, bathing assistance, etc. These services are often cheaper than full on nursing home care, and the patient is happier as they are in their home, in their neighborhood, close to their friends & family.

    I hope that helps, if you need any other info let me know, I'll try to help.


  3. #3
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I know both of my grandmas head nurses come and take care of them until they got too sick, and then went to nursing home 5-10 minutes from family, and someone who lived in the same area would go for all the meals and visit everyday. But yeah, if you can avoid it I would, but sometimes it can't be avoided like their just too sick, and also do research find which ones are the best and which ones suck. But I would defiently use it as a last resort.
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    I worked for one for about three months and presently volunteer in my Mother's care center. I'll be glad to answer any questions that I can.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  5. #5
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    What kind of things are you looking to know? I've had my grandmother in an assisted living home (not enough care for her needs), nursing home (way to frantic, very bad for her Alzheimer's), and finally settled on an Alzheimer's unit.

  6. #6
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    I worked for one for about three months and presently volunteer in my Mother's care center. I'll be glad to answer any questions that I can.
    Why did you leave? What do/don't you like about your mother's care center?

    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    What kind of things are you looking to know? I've had my grandmother in an assisted living home (not enough care for her needs), nursing home (way to frantic, very bad for her Alzheimer's), and finally settled on an Alzheimer's unit.
    How did your family go about evaluating where your grandmother went? Did you pay for it privately, through her health insurance, Medicare, or Medicaid? What made you settle on the facility you did?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
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  7. #7
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    How did your family go about evaluating where your grandmother went? Did you pay for it privately, through her health insurance, Medicare, or Medicaid? What made you settle on the facility you did?
    First question: Go visit homes in the area. Does the place smell like urine? How do the patients smell? Have they been cleaned recently? What's the nurse and nursing assistant : patient ratio? Do they have activities?

    EMS (Emergency Medical Services aka ambulance) employees/volunteers are also a good resource. They are in and out of all the various homes to pick up patients, and can tell which ones take good care of them and which ones don't. Elder care lawyers may also know.

    Second question: Grandma has about $200,000 that my grandfather left her. We pay privately as the private pay places are MUCH better. However, the good ones will cost $5,000 *or more* a month, so that combined with medicine and other expenses will give my grandma ~3 years. She will probably outlive her money and then have go into a medicaid facility. We are hoping that the Alzheimer's has advanced enough that she won't notice the difference.

    Third question: Great reputation by those in the know. Relatively close location. Our first choice, which wasn't quite as nice but cheaper and closer, was booked indefinitely and we needed to get her out of the nursing home ASAP. (She had a stroke, went to the hospital, and then went to the nursing home on medicaid under doctor's orders.)

    Ugh... this was a hard post to write.

  8. #8
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Thanks Udog, the info about asking the EMS techs is a great idea.

    Unfortunately, paying privately is not an option so we have to go through Medicaid/Medicare.

    I'm so becoming a socialist after all this.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  9. #9
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Generally.. the nursing home that our grandmother is in is wonderful, for what the facility is. She hated the move, and she resented it. Now that she's settled, I think it's a sort of grumpyness that may not ever settle down.

    I was adverse to them for a long time but.. in the end. after 8 years of living with us, we just became unable to keep up with her needs. I think as long as you make regular visits it's well and all.
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  10. #10
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Nursing homes are always a hard choice. Especially in traditionaly Asian families, retirement/nursing homes are a last and sometimes, never, choice. When my grandmother got too ill to be home-cared for, we looked for assisted living centers for her. They can be very expensive. The really expensive ones are like resorts (not kidding). I think our choice ended up being decided on proximity and cost. Personally, they all just reminded me of state hospitals and were slightly depressing.

    Good luck with your search!
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