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Thread: Moods

  1. #81
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by sanveane View Post
    Eh, I am jumping back in but I do agree that thoughts precede feelings for the most part, in line with cognitive behavioral therapy.
    Oh, yeah, you are right and now that I think about it again, I can recall situations where it went the other way around. I think I believe it works both ways.

    Quote Originally Posted by sanveane View Post
    My biggest concern is if I cut off from my feelings I'll cut off from being able to be creative.
    This is true for me. If I am just happy or content, I am not creative at all. Or maybe I should say I don't have the desire to be creative. I can basically paint a painting right now, but it wouldn't be me spontaneously wanting to paint it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Yep, I understand what you're saying. The thing is not to avoid by pushing it out of your mind but rather acknowledge it and decide if it's worth getting upset over, my feelings are it usually isn't, if someone around me is being offensive I choose to either challenge them or chalk them down as a tool who isn't worth the effort, either way my thoughts and feelings will result in an action and become effective not simmer inside and upset me. It's about what result you want, generally it works like this; you display anger you receive more anger, you display frustration you receive more frustration etc...
    For me it goes a little differently. I continue my previous scenario:

    - I have been waiting to go to a party tonight to meet some friends I haven't seen for a while
    - I go there and it's great until
    - Some guy who I don't know very well
    - He's so drunk he is talking all night about something he hates
    - At this moment I can't have fun anymore
    - I think about what could be done
    - I can't stop listening to his rambling
    - I feel my stress level going up and am getting annoyed
    - I check out if there's good reasons to stay there
    - If I don't see anything particularly special (like some friend i haven't seen in year or something), I will probably leave

    So to me it is more like a calculation of is it worth staying there and sucking it up.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    By that I mean I'm happy to reply I just won't try to convince anyone
    ok, that's great. I am interested in opinions and views, not in being convinced.

  2. #82
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    This is true for me. If I am just happy or content, I am not creative at all. Or maybe I should say I don't have the desire to be creative. I can basically paint a painting right now, but it wouldn't be me spontaneously wanting to paint it.
    Creativity needs passion and that comes from emotion

    For me it goes a little differently. I continue my previous scenario:

    - I have been waiting to go to a party tonight to meet some friends I haven't seen for a while
    - I go there and it's great until
    - Some guy who I don't know very well
    - He's so drunk he is talking all night about something he hates
    - At this moment I can't have fun anymore
    - I think about what could be done
    - I can't stop listening to his rambling
    - I feel my stress level going up and am getting annoyed
    - I check out if there's good reasons to stay there
    - If I don't see anything particularly special (like some friend i haven't seen in year or something), I will probably leave

    So to me it is more like a calculation of is it worth staying there and sucking it up.
    Firstly WTH are you doing at a party, what the hell kinda social INFP are ya *raises eyebrow accusingly*

    Mkay so sure, one of the ways to deal with people who shit you is to limit your exposure to them but I wouldn't suggest you have to leave/avoid in order to have a good time. People can be all sorts of ignorant and annoying and of course there are many different ways to try to change the situation in order to get the guy to stfu but it's your reaction that can be controlled not him.

    "At this moment I can't have fun anymore" <-- that's a decision, if you say you can't have fun anymore than quite simply you won’t, I wouldn’t suggest it's an easy thing to stop the stress levels and frustration but they are controlled by you not the drunk.

    I’d change the two highlighted points to;
    - At this moment I am aware I'm not having fun and decide how to change that so my night isn't ruined.
    - I feel my stress level going up and am getting annoyed and make a decision to step away from the situation mentally to get perspective.

    Yes, you're annoyed, you may be validated in that but your annoyance probably won’t bother that guy, certainly not as much as it bothers you anyway so what's the point. Too often people allow that feeling to snowball and let it ruin experiences rather than deciding to stop and change their perspective.

    For me it comes down to who owns your frustration, anyone who believes the other person does will never need take responsibility for their reactions and will probably have many experiences ruined by other peoples actions, those who accept they own it can learn to stop being controlled by their emotions despite other peoples actions.

  3. #83

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    I am actually quite moody, but most people (in real life anyway) can't tell because I tend to have the same demeanor all the time (which people say is calm, aloof, and a little sarcastic).

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
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  4. #84

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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    I am actually quite moody, but most people (in real life anyway) can't tell because I tend to have the same demeanor all the time (which people say is calm, aloof, and a little sarcastic).
    I'm a little jealous. Most people stop at "Your so.." Leaves me wondering what was left out.

  5. #85
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    How moody are you? I've noticed I can be quite moody. Sometimes quiet and reserved. Sometimes high on attention, needing it. A need to perform.
    I'm interested in how moody everybody is. Lets talk.
    I'm so moody that my mom once thought I was mildly bipolar. I think it's due to an oscillation between Ne-dom and Fi-dom. The former is the chipper enthusiastic "high," and the latter the angsty melancholic "low." Horray for moodiness!

    "OMG I FEEEEEEEEEL SO INTENSELY ABOUT EVERYTHING OMG OMG OMG GET ME A XANAX" -Priam (ENFP impersonation)

  6. #86
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Your comment, nolla, reminded me about the connection between the creative process and mood.

    I suppose that's a thread all by itself.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  7. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Firstly WTH are you doing at a party, what the hell kinda social INFP are ya *raises eyebrow accusingly*
    I try to not let my type choose what I do But yeah, I rarely go to parties where I don't know I have my people around. It feels too awkward.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    "At this moment I can't have fun anymore" <-- that's a decision, if you say you can't have fun anymore than quite simply you won’t, I wouldn’t suggest it's an easy thing to stop the stress levels and frustration but they are controlled by you not the drunk.
    Yeah sure, he doesn't realize he's being an ass. If it is a decision for me, it isn't the ordinary kind of decision, I would maybe call it a reaction rather than decision (or a decision of the unconscious), and to control my reactions I would need to change my usual perspective. This is a big change and I would like to think that whenever I tolerate annoying behavior, I am shifting my perspective in the desired direction.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    For me it comes down to who owns your frustration, anyone who believes the other person does will never need take responsibility for their reactions and will probably have many experiences ruined by other peoples actions, those who accept they own it can learn to stop being controlled by their emotions despite other peoples actions.
    Word. Very Zen. I would like to know what happens when someone does something you see like an outrageous break of your moral code. (Because there must be a line after which the zen attitude is cast aside)

  8. #88
    Senior Member INFJ*'s Avatar
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    I'm quite moody, but I keep it to myself.
    Let me melt in your soul. Slowly, slowly, slowly..


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  9. #89
    Senior Member millerm277's Avatar
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    Internally, my moods are constantly changing. However, externally, I am pretty much always calm, and have a reputation as being level-headed. When becoming very annoyed/angry, you can see a bit of it in my eyes, but that's it. (It's just for a second, but one friend of mine has learned to notice it, no one else I know has.)
    I-95%, S-84%, T-89%, P-84%

  10. #90

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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    Word. Very Zen. I would like to know what happens when someone does something you see like an outrageous break of your moral code. (Because there must be a line after which the zen attitude is cast aside)
    How to maintain equanimity in lifes battles. I'd be interested in peoples ideas too. Everybody's posts have been great. Great insights.

    Miyamoto Musashi

    * In strategy your spiritual bearing must not be any different from normal. Both in fighting and in everyday life you should be determined though calm. Meet the situation without tenseness yet not recklessly, your spirit settled yet unbiased. Even when your spirit is calm do not let your body relax, and when your body is relaxed do not let your spirit slacken.

    * Be neither insufficiently spirited nor over spirited. An elevated spirit is weak and a low spirit is weak. Do not let the enemy see your spirit.

    * With your spirit open and unconstricted, look at things from a high point of view. You must cultivate your wisdom and spirit. Polish your wisdom: learn public justice, distinguish between good and evil, study the Ways of different arts one by one. When you cannot be deceived by men you will have realised the wisdom of strategy.
    Last edited by wolfy; 10-26-2008 at 08:08 AM.

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