User Tag List

First 45678 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 116

Thread: Moods

  1. #51
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    5,352

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    That's how it reads to me and I totally disagree. You are still in control of how you react regardless of how toxic the environment is, nobody can ever take that control away from you unless you let them.
    In a perfect world, you are right.
    But this is not a perfect world.

  2. #52
    Senor Membrane
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,190

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    That's how it reads to me and I totally disagree. You are still in control of how you react regardless of how toxic the environment is, nobody can ever take that control away from you unless you let them.
    I am in control and responsible for how I behave, but as far as my feeling come and go, I don't have control over them. I can control them by keeping them in, but that is a temporary fix and not healthy over long periods. Do you really control your feelings? I might want to learn that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    This idea of blame. Guess we can all see that it's toxic and removes our focus from what we are capable of doing. Either if we blame others for our feelings state or others blame us. Or more discouraging - if we blame ourselves.
    I try to avoid blaming others or blaming myself, but sometimes I feel helpless since there is this bad stuff coming from them and staying inside me until I can release it. And it is completely out of my control if I can't leave the situation. It just piles up. Tell me, what should I do then?

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    On the flip side there are those who seem to need emotion from us and when I've spent time with them I can feel nearly sucked dry. My ENFP daughter and I call them "emotional vampires." Gots to put on my "garlic armor" when I spend time with those exhausting folks.
    I've tried to be a shoulder for these people, but you know what? They don't get better, the relationship just turn into a pattern where they vent and I listen and I feel bad afterward for taking all the shit in. I'm sure your attitude makes you more popular than me. But for me it is like I care more for me feeling good than having one more friend if the "friend" never gives me any good vibes (yes, I am selfish like that).

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    There is little room in my world for blame. Feelings are facts. There. That. Feelings are facts. I see no room for value judgement.
    I know it is not their fault to feel like they do. That's not the problem. It is their actions that make it a value judgment. They choose to tell me or anyone around them that they feel like shit. They seem to ignore that it can bring other people down. This is why I don't like this kind of behavior.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    Yes, people can create situations which unsettle us. Yes, I can blame them for irresponsible expression of their feelings state. But, again I am responsible for doing some thing about it. Because I am, fair or not, the one who has to carry the feelings which are created in me.
    What do you do? Feelings are something that don't magically disappear. That is why it is unacceptable to be spreading bad feelings around. For me, sometimes I have to leave a situation and go to some peaceful place like an alley or a park and meditate for a while to get myself in my normal state again.

    I think there might be some kind of type difference with the feeling expression and attitude related to it. I think like it is my responsibility to keep my feelings inside me as long as there are people around that could get hurt by them. Some people obviously don't think this way. Maybe they don't realize that it gets to me. Maybe it doesn't get to them?

  3. #53
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    Find something to read about healthy detachment, nolla.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  4. #54
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    8,470

    Default

    I try to keep my feelings in a little sandbox when they get out of hand. I throw them in the sandbox and let them go crazy for a bit, while my brain works on what needs to happen after. Sometimes remembering that feelings will pass, helps you detach.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #55
    Senor Membrane
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,190

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    Find something to read about healthy detachment, nolla.


    Healthy detachment for me is to walk away and purify my mind. I can't take that stuff for a long time and I don't think that any trick in a self-help book is going to make me better in it. I can't imagine having protective force field (like the Empaths) cause I don't believe in that stuff and I can't imagine it doesn't effect me, because that would be turning my back on the issue and let it go to unconscious. All I have left are my feet.

  6. #56
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    Ok. You asked: I answered. . .
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  7. #57
    Senor Membrane
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,190

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    Ok. You asked: I answered. . .
    More elaborate answer would have been useful. (And I actually am interested in the other questions I asked about your view)

  8. #58
    Senior Member Dwigie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    658

    Default

    I'm pretty moody, one minute up the other down but people never notice because I don't really show it so I seem stable but am not.(But when you know me it's easy to tell what mood I'm in: it's written all over my face but somehow most people don't pick up on the small hints).
    Sometimes I feel like I'm "on Mercury"-

  9. #59
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    I am in control and responsible for how I behave, but as far as my feeling come and go, I don't have control over them. I can control them by keeping them in, but that is a temporary fix and not healthy over long periods. Do you really control your feelings? I might want to learn that...
    One aspect of the situation is that emotions are energy. When is placed in a position of constantly stifling them, one is also stiffling positive emotions as well and can deplete energy. Emotions are the energy to get out of a bad situation, do something proactive to change things. In our modern world we're often placed in positions where we are not so free to change the situation or at least not on the timetable we'd wish to.

    I am not a person who advocates reacting to emotion without thought, but I am also not a person who advocates lying to self about emotion. If a situation is bad, it's bad. If one is powerless to change the situation, it's better to admit the bad feelings that brings rather than pump up on some happy horse sh*t mantra about how wonderful everything is or worse place the emotion underground where it can fester into something worse than it was to begin with.

    It's better in my view to admit negative emotions and then come to the realization that one has survived unhappiness before and this time will likely be no different. Sometimes just being able to admit yeah this really does sux can bring new energy in and new will to deal with the situation, new clarity.

    Plus, not being honest with self, can change the way one thinks. It can become habit to deny the truth and then one can lose track of the truth, lying to self becomes a way of life and one cannot see when one is lying to self and is not and judgment suffers. One cannot hold a firm position on any topic or idea because one's inner being is constantly shifting to avoid bad feelings and often requires lying to self. It's just not a good idea.

  10. #60
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    More elaborate answer would have been useful. (And I actually am interested in the other questions I asked about your view)
    I really can't tell you what to do, ya know.

    I learned about healthy detachment and put it to use. If you aren't interested in that you'll have to figure out what works for you.



    Edit: I see you asked if I can control my feelings. No I cannot. I need to control how I act upon them.

    But as you mentioned, doing something for people who say they need help doesn't seem to work well. Maybe they just wanted to bend your ear.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

Similar Threads

  1. Post pictures that portray your current mood
    By Park in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 4161
    Last Post: Today, 12:51 PM
  2. Does The Weather Affect Your Mood?
    By RiderOnTheStorm in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 09-23-2008, 12:22 AM
  3. Mood altering medicine and MBTI
    By Poser in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-06-2008, 04:30 AM
  4. A very fluffy thread/I'm in a very good mood
    By prplchknz in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 01-21-2008, 08:13 PM
  5. Temperament is but Mood versus Reaction?
    By wildcat in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-13-2007, 08:41 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO