User Tag List

First 34567 Last

Results 41 to 50 of 116

Thread: Moods

  1. #41
    Senor Membrane
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,190

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sanveane View Post
    ^I don't do well with that either. Especially if there's nothing I can do about it, it affects me physically ime. Yesterday I was trying to have a nice quiet lunch and I was seated near a mother and daughter having a very nasty argument, bleh, it actually took away my appetite.
    I would never lose my appetite, but it would get me eating faster and leaving without enjoying the food. The worse type of people who do this, however, are the ones who come to you and invite themselves to vent. I don't know why they do it, do they want me to feel miserable too, or do they think their bad feelings will take me as a new host and leave them, or don't they know that it hurts to listen venting like that..? I don't get it.

  2. #42

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sanveane View Post
    ^I don't do well with that either. Especially if there's nothing I can do about it, it affects me physically ime. Yesterday I was trying to have a nice quiet lunch and I was seated near a mother and daughter having a very nasty argument, bleh, it actually took away my appetite.

    I am not outwardly moody and my mood never really runs to outright anger much. But I think I inhabit a lot of feeling states during the day.... and I try to cultivate certain states too, (mostly the feeling of being happy to be alive and connected to the world.)
    These kinds of things can affect my mood. I can remember one time at a sushi place I could hear the boss giving one of the workers an earful. Luckily it didn't last but those kind of things make me angry. It only seems to make me angry or uncomfortable when someone seems to be abusing their power not just an argument.
    But my anger never lingers in any situation it burns bright and fast. My overall mood swings from reserved to outgoing and stays in either for a few days.
    I was thinking today maybe it has something to do with being ambivert?

  3. #43
    violaine
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    I would never lose my appetite, but it would get me eating faster and leaving without enjoying the food. The worse type of people who do this, however, are the ones who come to you and invite themselves to vent. I don't know why they do it, do they want me to feel miserable too, or do they think their bad feelings will take me as a new host and leave them, or don't they know that it hurts to listen venting like that..? I don't get it.
    ^oh blurghh! I know someone who does this unrelentingly. I always feel like I've been run over after she's unloaded on me. And that's exactly what they're doing, transference, they feel great and you're stuck with all of their negative emotion. I give people like that a wide berth if I can, otherwise I make sure to never ask "how are you?"

    EDIT: Oh, it was a pretty full-on argument, 40 mins long, high-pitched, whiney, crying *shudder* At one point they made up and I thought thank gawd, then they started up again, lol.

  4. #44
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Enneagram
    9w8 so/sx
    Posts
    11,544

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    I'm pretty sure what heart was saying is...... yeah I'm responsible for my own feelings, but sometimes a person I am with can be so toxic that they truly do make me feel bad, and it is their fault that I feel bad.
    That's how it reads to me and I totally disagree. You are still in control of how you react regardless of how toxic the environment is, nobody can ever take that control away from you unless you let them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja
    It's amazing how many people start a confrontation with the phrase, "You're making me feel ____________."
    :steam: I cannot stand that statement!

    It makes me feel so mad

    No really, I don't tolerate someone using that statement around me, it's such a cop-out.

  5. #45

    Default

    This says it all...
    [YOUTUBE="oSaxuKTN8xc"]Positively 4th Street[/YOUTUBE]

  6. #46
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    I'm glad to see the conversation is on track this morning.

    Yes. Good thoughts since I last read!

    This idea of blame. Guess we can all see that it's toxic and removes our focus from what we are capable of doing. Either if we blame others for our feelings state or others blame us. Or more discouraging - if we blame ourselves.

    Yes. I know RL people who carry so much emotional garbage with them that their approach makes me shudder! Hah. I just had a mental picture of Pigpen from the Charlie Brown cartoon or the Tasmanian Devil!

    On the flip side there are those who seem to need emotion from us and when I've spent time with them I can feel nearly sucked dry. My ENFP daughter and I call them "emotional vampires." Gots to put on my "garlic armor" when I spend time with those exhausting folks.

    And I do understand that need to dump on or to draw happiness from other than ourselves but I think we're in agreement that it isn't a balanced state and wreaks havoc in relationships. It's a pretty uncomfortable experience.

    Again, blame. There is little room in my world for blame. Feelings are facts. There. That. Feelings are facts. I see no room for value judgement.

    It's what we do with our feelings that is the issue.

    Blame gets us caught up whether it is in blaming ourselves or others. It's a shift of focus from the issues. And it can breed resentment and feelings of helplessness.

    As I read I thought of the lesson Victor Frankl taught us about responsibility for our feeling state. And the possibility of (and need for) being able to lift our spirits in spite of our circumstances. Bless the man.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  7. #47
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    Oh yeah, Wolfy - the Bobster!

    (Bet he's a tough guy to live in harmony with!)
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  8. #48
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,489

    Default

    Depends how you define moody. My moods never change for "no reason" but I definitely over-react to things (imo), at some times more than others. Especially if I'm tired. It used to be a lot worse back in high school though. Overall I suppose I'm as stable as anyone these days.

    Quote Originally Posted by kuranes View Post
    People will rarely acknowledge being in a "bad" mood ( except retroactively ) , and I think this is due to two reasons.
    ( 1. ) Connotations of the word "bad"
    ( 2. ) The phenomenon I mentioned earlier, that the very thing which would be observing is affected.
    Hmm, I actually do this pretty often, especially if I notice myself snapping at people or being antisocial ("sorry, I'm grumpy tonight"). I guess I want to let people know it's temporary instead of thinking I'm a giant bitch who's always like that, or that I'm mad at them. Maybe I'm just weird.

  9. #49
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    It depends on how you look at the word responsible. Responsibility means the ability to respond to me. It's not whether or not the environment has affected the situation but my ability to respond.
    Responsibility can be used to mean blame and accountability or the ability to take initiative.

    I agree with both of them.

    No matter how thin you slice it there's always two sides.
    Let me belabour this idea a little more.

    Yes, people can create situations which unsettle us. Yes, I can blame them for irresponsible expression of their feelings state. But, again I am responsible for doing some thing about it. Because I am, fair or not, the one who has to carry the feelings which are created in me.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  10. #50
    Senior Member kuranes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    XNXP
    Posts
    1,065

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    Hmm, I actually do this pretty often, especially if I notice myself snapping at people or being antisocial ("sorry, I'm grumpy tonight").
    You're a rare bird. At least that's how it seems here in the USA. For some reason I'm picturing ( haven't even checked your profile to see ) the likeliness of an English person saying this and it being somehow ....more likely there. Don't know why. I can just hear Substitute saying that, as I type this.

    However, I will commonly see USA people describing how they are "tired at the moment" as a way of describing why they might be saying or doing something. This goes back to the beginning of this thread and whether moods are more related to energy vs. emotions; or whether emotions are mold-able from within or without. Probably, like the "nature vs. nurture" debate, it is a little of both.

    I remember someone asking an interesting question about whether they play music to match a mood they're having, versus playing music to change their mood - and change it into something they would rather be feeling.

    I play songs that match my mood, usually, and the idea of forcing my mood to change is an odd one to me, as I seem to be of the ( current status but open to changing my mind, I guess ) persuasion that is "if I'm having a 'mood' it's because I 'wanted it', or it was natural." Yet philosophically I've been aware, for awhile now, that the notion of our "self" being in conscious control, of all that much, is just an illusion. I guess this reality never sunk in to my emotional infrastructure, and only registered on my "thinking" component. Yet it also strikes me that if I am "wanting" to change my mood then maybe I was going to naturally transition out of it soon anyway, otherwise why would I have consciously considered doing so ?

    It reminds me of all the discussions about the "divided self"; which is just a pop psychology near-cliche term, I'm sure, but still has some descriptive power. ( I'm not referring to multiple personality syndrome )

    For example, when people talk about how to motivate oneself, it seem like the answer is the same as the question about how to develop wittiness. You either have it or you don't.

    I often surprise myself as to when I actually begin doing something versus just thinking I should do it.

    Getting up in the morning, for example. I might lie there awhile after the alarm rings, or get up immediately. If I lie there, one of the things I might waste time on thinking about, instead of getting up, is why I do that very thing . But that still isn't getting up.

    "Part of me wants to do that, but obviously part of me doesn't" is something I tell to people who ask me why I continue with a habit that I have admitted is undesirable, for example.

    Maybe I'm prioritizing working on some other priority ( which might be a self-behavior mod, or not ) or maybe I'm just being lazy, but I'm not currently doing it.

    "Why not?" someone might ask. "Why not work on all your bad habits at once?"

    The answer is "I don't know."

    If I was motivated enough I'd already be doing it. This where I wonder about which "self" a hypnotist would be getting in touch with, if I was trying to counter this by going to a therapist of that sort for help.

    If it is not the "dominant" self that he will be addressing, then how can it be "agreed" to in a meaningful way ? If it is the dominant self then I would probably be already doing it - and therefore already motivated. Right ?

    The only answer I've ever seen to this is people who say that after having the intention, one must "schedule" the action. I'm a believer in "to-do" lists, but I've noticed that they eventually get superceded by new things that are either truly "more important", or that I decided were important for reasons that are contrary ( divided self again ) to what I was thinking earlier. ( Sometimes the list itself gets lost as I will need to carry it around sometimes in order to remember items on it. Ironically the list itself gets forgotten somewhere, then, instead of always being at the center of my desk or whatever. )

    In other words, what does one do when the "schedules" are only partially fulfilled ?
    "The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them that they are being attacked and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
    Reichsfuhrer Herman Goering at the Nuremburg trials.

Similar Threads

  1. Post pictures that portray your current mood
    By Park in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 4154
    Last Post: 12-11-2017, 12:01 PM
  2. Does The Weather Affect Your Mood?
    By RiderOnTheStorm in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 09-23-2008, 12:22 AM
  3. Mood altering medicine and MBTI
    By Poser in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-06-2008, 04:30 AM
  4. A very fluffy thread/I'm in a very good mood
    By prplchknz in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 01-21-2008, 08:13 PM
  5. Temperament is but Mood versus Reaction?
    By wildcat in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-13-2007, 08:41 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO