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View Poll Results: How often do you have suicidal thoughts?

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  • Once a week or more.

    15 13.16%
  • Once a month or more.

    17 14.91%
  • Once a year or more.

    13 11.40%
  • Once every few years.

    8 7.02%
  • Once or twice in my life.

    26 22.81%
  • Never.

    35 30.70%
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  1. #111
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I think when you're at that point, such a judgment is extremely unconstructive.

    You need to be dealing with the root of the problem, not telling someone they're being selfish because they don't see another way out.

    Frankly, let me tell you: It didn't matter a damn, not because you don't love your family, but because you already feel like you're ruining their lives because you're so withdrawn, mean, distant, unattached, unable to express emotion, and hopeless that you end up feeling like it's better for them if you're gone and they can start over. You can't give emotionally. You feel like you can't keep a job. You end up hurting everyone you love. You feel like you're already NOT giving them anything but grief.

    (So let's look at the actual options/outcomes/reality on the table here, NOT some idealized list of how they SHOULD be.)

    Yeah, maybe some people are more overtly selfish about it, but I know for me this is what it was: I was cognizant of the impact of my behavior but it didn't give me any strategy by which to improve things, and I was already making their lives hell. Death was actually feeling like a release for THEM, regardless of its impact on me.

    So my advice is that you need to be giving depressed people hope for change, if you want to help them, not tearing them down further.
    I can see how dieing could feel like a "release for THEM, regardless of its impact on me." But just as often, if not more often, a person who might have otherwise committed suicide won't because they don't want to abandon their loved ones. And if a person sticks around for his daughter or whatever, there is a chance they will get over their problems and continue with life.

    The "you're selfish" argument is useless if the person is already dead, but it can act as a preventative also.

  2. #112
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Looks like the Nordic countries rank very well concerning the "Happiest nations".

    Got Warm Feelings? - BusinessWeek

  3. #113
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Could you clarify for me how the rest of your post (mostly discussing biology) is connected to mine? I'm not getting it, maybe my brain's a little soft from the depression...
    I heard you owning your depression without shame. Kudos! That was exactly the point I was getting to. That social disapproval/judgement of an illness, if we buy into it, can be a block to recovery.

    Why feel badly about something we had no control over? Why feel secretive about a state of unhealth? Counter-productive to the max.

    To me the only shame in being ill is if you don't take steps to get well again.

    It fits in well with nolla's idea that blaming others for our problems keeps us stuck.

    This owning it. . .
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  4. #114
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Couple of things that I don't think have been mentioned:

    Depression and suicide, while they may be related in ways as yet not fully understood, are not always linked. I.e. you can be suicidal and not clinically depressed and vice versa.

    Suicide can be contagious.

    Suicide is a civil right?

  5. #115
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Ah! Good point.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  6. #116
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    I've definitely never had them!! I think there are few things worse than committing suicide, and even if my darkest of hours I have never once felt that my life ending would help or solve anything. The thought of death does NOT soothe me. The only reason why I COPE with death is because my religion helps guide me through it's part in life.. otherwise I'd have absolutely nothing to do with it.
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  7. #117
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I think I've had more homocidal ones, to tell you the truth. I'm not wrong, everyone else is
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  8. #118
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    The only reason why I COPE with death is because my religion helps guide me through it's part in life.. otherwise I'd have absolutely nothing to do with it.
    In case that your religion turns out to be false, would you kill yourself right away or would you try to live anyway?


    Or there is no way of telling that?

  9. #119
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    I can see how dieing could feel like a "release for THEM, regardless of its impact on me." But just as often, if not more often, a person who might have otherwise committed suicide won't because they don't want to abandon their loved ones. And if a person sticks around for his daughter or whatever, there is a chance they will get over their problems and continue with life.

    The "you're selfish" argument is useless if the person is already dead, but it can act as a preventative also.
    It's just not a good one. If they're already feeling worthless to the point of suicidal thoughts, that's just another one in the "reasons I can't do anything right" column. It's better to help them see their worth, and the good qualities they don't believe they have at this point, than to give them another reason for self-hatred.

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I've definitely never had them!! I think there are few things worse than committing suicide, and even if my darkest of hours I have never once felt that my life ending would help or solve anything. The thought of death does NOT soothe me. The only reason why I COPE with death is because my religion helps guide me through it's part in life.. otherwise I'd have absolutely nothing to do with it.
    This is how I feel. I've never honestly wanted to commit suicide. But I have had a moment of clinical depression where I honestly couldn't see any light, and I remember having the thought that I finally understood why someone would want to commit suicide, if they'd experienced a longterm feeling of hopelessness like that.

  10. #120
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    In case that your religion turns out to be false, would you kill yourself right away or would you try to live anyway?


    Or there is no way of telling that?
    Wow, I bet you're fun at parties.

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