Self image of physical appearance

[Moiety]

Funny thread. I feel a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to personal image.

When I was a kid I think I was aware I was kind of attractive. At least girls used to be drawn to me. Of course when you are younger you don't even care about girls. With puberty came acne and it was a bit of a blow to my self esteem as I started obsessing over the opposite sex. I play the confident character part pretty well but doesn't really help convince myself that looks aren't important. I'm a guy who doesn't really care much what others think of me, but I think I'm a lot more self-aware then I was years ago. I now feel the need to exercise. That's what I mean by hypocrisy.

 

[Lady_X]

I pay as little attention to it as possible. I've been in great shape, all tidied up, snazzy, you know? And no one noticed.

Then it'll be 2 AM, I haven't left the apartment in three days, and I force myself to go get a sandwich. I'm dirty, my hair is totally silly, I've thrown on some retarded clothing combination only to cover myself, and I have an anti-social look in my eye due to suddenly being around people...And some cute girl will stare at me like she's been wandering through the desert for 48 hours and I'm Gatorade. Fuck it.

haha...i get that...disheveled is kinda hot...haha

 

[Lady_X]

See, physical appearance is the most irrelevant thing there is in the world.

My take on it is very very spiritual and INFJ influenced, so I wont dig into it

ooohhh...sounds good..i wanna hear.

 

[Lady_X]

so...my opinion is...
everybody's got their somethin
it's an attitude thing ya know...

i've always felt fine with the way i looked...i can relate to it...i look like my dad and he was my favorite person ever...so i like that

 

[Jack Flak]

i've always felt fine with the way i looked...

It is unanimous. Next topic?

 

[littledarling]

I really don't think I look like the person I see in the mirror. It doesn't look like me at all.

I feel this way a lot. It's really easy for me to become sort of detached from my body. I tend to neglect my body a lot because I am not very tuned into my physical needs. Whether or not I am feeling ugly or particularly attractive has nothing to do with my physical appearance, although I usually think it does.

 

[Dali]

The magic metabolism of youth just vanished for me a few months ago (im 22) and since then, the pounds have started piling on. My tall and lanky frame is changing and yes, whenever I'm out in public, I spend several minutes obsessing over people noticing that. I intend to hit a gym soon and I'm sure I'll feel much more confident about my appearance when I do.

EDIT: I must add that I felt properly hideous all through my severe acne years (15 - 18). Never kid anyone about their acne.

I pay as little attention to it as possible. I've been in great shape, all tidied up, snazzy, you know? And no one noticed.

Then it'll be 2 AM, I haven't left the apartment in three days, and I force myself to go get a sandwich. I'm dirty, my hair is totally silly, I've thrown on some retarded clothing combination only to cover myself, and I have an anti-social look in my eye due to suddenly being around people...And some cute girl will stare at me like she's been wandering through the desert for 48 hours and I'm Gatorade. Fuck it.

I'm the most out-of-shape and most antisocial I've been in my life... and suddenly, I have three girls crushing on me within the space of a few months when practically none noticed me during the previous two years.

I'll never understand 'this'.

 

[Edgar]

I have always been content with my looks. I feel comfortable in my own skin.

I do not feel insecure when interact with someone who is strikingly attractive and is cocky about their looks. As far as I am concerned, they can go fuck their shallow self.

The only time I get self conscious is when I meet someone who is not only pretty, but also pleasant and polite. That upsets me. I don't like being in a presence of someone who is clearly a better person than I am.

 

[G-Virus]

I really don't think I look like the person I see in the mirror. It doesn't look like me at all.

This says it all, I am too detached from the outside so the person inside doesn't really have an image, I don't know who the person in the mirror is. I guess you never know what you really look like through other people's eyes. In all honesty though, I am content with how I look and never though negative or positive about it, mainly due to the detachment.

 

[niffer]

I think it mostly depends on how clean and well-rested I feel.

Yeah.

Also, sometimes I have fashion meltdowns. I feel really crappy if I'm not satisfied with my outfit, but it's not directly related to how attractive I feel.

Although it's often said, I echo the sentiment that physical attractiveness is of meager importance when weighed against qualities like personality/intelligence.

Of course.

 

[Simplexity]

Everyday I wake up and cry when I look in the mirror. Not really but at the same time I'm really jealous of some of my friends they never have to be concerned about how they look because they were blessed with decent looks. I don't know I guess it kind of hurts my feelings when people say less than stellar things about my physical appearance. Its something I've had to deal with my whole life so I guess I've kind of gotten used to it but It still hurts every time I'm called ugly to my face.

 

[niffer]

Everyday I wake up and cry when I look in the mirror. Not really but at the same time I'm really jealous of some of my friends they never have to be concerned about how they look because they were blessed with decent looks. I don't know I guess it kind of hurts my feelings when people say less than stellar things about my physical appearance. Its something I've had to deal with my whole life so I guess I've kind of gotten used to it but It still hurts every time I'm called ugly to my face.

I hate it when people are hard on themselves like this! Develop an enormously cocky ego or something. Even if you look like a stuck up idiot in doing so, who cares? It's better than letting things like this effect your wellbeing. Anyone who tries to be mean like that is just cruel and socially retarded, and you are therefore superior to them.

 

[G-Virus]

Everyday I wake up and cry when I look in the mirror. Not really but at the same time I'm really jealous of some of my friends they never have to be concerned about how they look because they were blessed with decent looks. I don't know I guess it kind of hurts my feelings when people say less than stellar things about my physical appearance. Its something I've had to deal with my whole life so I guess I've kind of gotten used to it but It still hurts every time I'm called ugly to my face.

Man, thats wack, who do you know that is rude enough to say something like that? You sound like a decent enough guy, so I can't imagine someone being that much of an ass to you in your face. Unless its someone used to you like your mom or family . . .

 

[GinKuusouka]

It varies with me all of the time. Sometimes I feel as if I can actually see what someone might find interesting about me. Most of the times I believe I'm actually rather plain. And sometimes I believe there's nothing good about me at all. But, even in the worst of times, I do try to stick to this: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And I don't believe the beholder to be myself (as one friend tried to convince me before), but in those who perceive me because their perception is different from my own. We are our own worst critic after all. And for me, it's hard to take compliments, at least inwardly. And the hardest one to accept would be 'beautiful'.

 

[GinKuusouka]

Everyday I wake up and cry when I look in the mirror. Not really but at the same time I'm really jealous of some of my friends they never have to be concerned about how they look because they were blessed with decent looks. I don't know I guess it kind of hurts my feelings when people say less than stellar things about my physical appearance. Its something I've had to deal with my whole life so I guess I've kind of gotten used to it but It still hurts every time I'm called ugly to my face.

People have no right to call anyone else ugly, especially not to their face. They have no rights to hurting others. Perhaps it's their way of not wanting to deal with their own issue of seeing what they perceive to be ugly in themselves. It's no excuse though. If you truly wish, I'll come over and kick their asses for you. (I am joking, however... lol)

 

[Kora]

Everyday I wake up and cry when I look in the mirror. Not really but at the same time I'm really jealous of some of my friends they never have to be concerned about how they look because they were blessed with decent looks. I don't know I guess it kind of hurts my feelings when people say less than stellar things about my physical appearance. Its something I've had to deal with my whole life so I guess I've kind of gotten used to it but It still hurts every time I'm called ugly to my face.

I know how worthless and annoying is being told that 'you have to accept yourself', so I won't say it. But really, what's the use on crying and hurting because of that? People who says those things are just bastards who are screwing with you. Probably they still do it because they know how much it hurts you.
You can born with looks or brains, maybe with both, but think about it... beauty ends fading away. Intelligence not (or at least, it does very later than beauty). You just have to play with the cards you have.

 

[Ivy]

I think I understand how Aimahn feels, except no one has said anything insulting to me since I was in college. But, the feelings remain. Since puberty I've always hated my appearance and had similar thoughts when I passed a mirror. I felt sad and cheated out of normal experiences. When other girls my age were experimenting with their newfound sexuality and attractiveness I was hiding under layers of clothing and waist-length hair that covered as much of my face as possible.

 

[StoryOfMyLife]

I think I understand how Aimahn feels, except no one has said anything insulting to me since I was in college. But, the feelings remain. Since puberty I've always hated my appearance and had similar thoughts when I passed a mirror. I felt sad and cheated out of normal experiences. When other girls my age were experimenting with their newfound sexuality and attractiveness I was hiding under layers of clothing and waist-length hair that covered as much of my face as possible.

I sympathize here, that was kind of like me through school. I had my moments where I felt the urge to dress myself up and put make-up on and try to look cute-- and would actually feel that way until I saw all the other girls who looked way cuter. Comparing myself with others has always been an issue for me and it's hard not to take it to heart sometimes [especially, while growing up, I always had to listen to members of my family gushing about how beautiful my cousin is--and lately, how beautiful her sisters are That never fails to make me feel pretty inadequate, though I love my cousins dearly].

Despite my friends telling me that I'm pretty, I can't simply believe it since it doesn't really go along with how I see myself. Sometimes, I feel pretty good...but most times, I feel as though I could be so much better. I'm far from comfortable with my own body *pokes at self* and I have trouble accepting myself for my appearance. Who I am on the inside seems interesting enough for some people, though I just simply wish I felt as good about who I am on the outside, too.

 

[Ivy]

I sympathize here, that was kind of like me through school. I had my moments where I felt the urge to dress myself up and put make-up on and try to look cute-- and would actually feel that way until I saw all the other girls who looked way cuter. Comparing myself with others has always been an issue for me and it's hard not to take it to heart sometimes [especially, while growing up, I always had to listen to members of my family gushing about how beautiful my cousin is--and lately, how beautiful her sisters are That never fails to make me feel pretty inadequate, though I love my cousins dearly].

Despite my friends telling me that I'm pretty, I can't simply believe it since it doesn't really go along with how I see myself. Sometimes, I feel pretty good...but most times, I feel as though I could be so much better. I'm far from comfortable with my own body *pokes at self* and I have trouble accepting myself for my appearance. Who I am on the inside seems interesting enough for some people, though I just simply wish I felt as good about who I am on the outside, too.

Man, I could have written every word of this, down to the hot cousins. One of my cousins is in my top five favorite people on the planet but she's also one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. It's difficult to grow up being compared to that, which some of my extended family did every chance they got.

Like you, I don't have self-esteem issues about my inner self (anymore--I once did). In my case it's my husband who wishes I understood that he really does find me attractive. For a long time I simply assumed that he begrudgingly accepted my appearance in a trade-off for having a cool and smart girlfriend/wife. He insists that he feels like he has the package deal of cool/smart/hot wife, but it's too easy for me to explain that away. "I was lucky to find the one person in the world who actually likes the way I look" is the usual line. (Edited to add: or in darker moments, "of course he can't tell me he doesn't think I'm attractive, he's too kind to do that")

 

[StoryOfMyLife]

My inner-self, thankfully, was the one part of me I have always accepted. I've had my doubts, but I thought..you know...my friends really like me, so there must be something pretty awesome there. Being weird is ok *lol*.

Yeah, growing up like that is tough, and I never told anybody in my family that it hurt me [and still does, since they still do things like this...] because I was/am afraid that they'll think I'm overreacting or reading into it too much and am taking offense to nothing. It doesn't feel like nothing, however...when school pictures came, back then, and they'd see mine and say 'Oh, you look so nice!" I was thrilled-- and then we'd see my cousins' pictures and their praise was 'Oh my gosh, she looks soooo pretty!! Doesn't she look pretty?!' I agreed, of course-- because my cousins are pretty-- but they clearly missed the insinuated insult to my own esteem..

I think I'd be pretty lucky if I were to find someone who could make me feel attractive...I'm...still working on that.