User Tag List

First 7891011 Last

Results 81 to 90 of 107

  1. #81
    Senior Member Simplexity's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    1,741

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by StoryOfMyLife View Post
    My inner-self, thankfully, was the one part of me I have always accepted. I've had my doubts, but I thought..you know...my friends really like me, so there must be something pretty awesome there. Being weird is ok *lol*.

    Yeah, growing up like that is tough, and I never told anybody in my family that it hurt me [and still does, since they still do things like this...] because I was/am afraid that they'll think I'm overreacting or reading into it too much and am taking offense to nothing. It doesn't feel like nothing, however...when school pictures came, back then, and they'd see mine and say 'Oh, you look so nice!" I was thrilled-- and then we'd see my cousins' pictures and their praise was 'Oh my gosh, she looks soooo pretty!! Doesn't she look pretty?!' I agreed, of course-- because my cousins are pretty-- but they clearly missed the insinuated insult to my own esteem..

    I think I'd be pretty lucky if I were to find someone who could make me feel attractive...I'm...still working on that.

    Yes thats something that I am still in the process of doing.
    My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.

  2. #82
    Senior Member StoryOfMyLife's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INfJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    619

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aimahn View Post
    Yes thats something that I am still in the process of doing.
    *hands you a paddle* Guess we're in the same boat, then.
    Don't hate me because you're beautiful.
    4w5



    http://www.mangabullet.com/visitme/ImaginAries.png

  3. #83
    Senior Member GinKuusouka's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    2w3 sp/sx
    Socionics
    INFp
    Posts
    238

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by StoryOfMyLife View Post
    My inner-self, thankfully, was the one part of me I have always accepted. I've had my doubts, but I thought..you know...my friends really like me, so there must be something pretty awesome there. Being weird is ok *lol*.

    Yeah, growing up like that is tough, and I never told anybody in my family that it hurt me [and still does, since they still do things like this...] because I was/am afraid that they'll think I'm overreacting or reading into it too much and am taking offense to nothing. It doesn't feel like nothing, however...when school pictures came, back then, and they'd see mine and say 'Oh, you look so nice!" I was thrilled-- and then we'd see my cousins' pictures and their praise was 'Oh my gosh, she looks soooo pretty!! Doesn't she look pretty?!' I agreed, of course-- because my cousins are pretty-- but they clearly missed the insinuated insult to my own esteem..

    I think I'd be pretty lucky if I were to find someone who could make me feel attractive...I'm...still working on that.
    It seems to be the most difficult thing to see beyond our own eyes, our own expectations, especially upon ourselves. Nah. I love you. You know I do dear. And I'm right there beside you. I didn't have any cousins like that to be compared to. But my dad never seemed short on the remarks of me being a whale or a blackhole. So, if nothing more, I do understand the pain. And yeah. If I were to say anything about how it hurt my feelings to hear comments like that, the response would always be "It was a joke. Lighten up." It may have been funny to him, but it wasn't a joke to me. And, since I was the butt end of it, I should have most definitely had a say in it. The same goes for you. I understand why you don't say anything. But, because these are your feelings that are being hurt and these hurt feelings are quite valid, they should be able to respect your request out of love. If they don't, then they're like my dad- quite insensitive. You know my thoughts on that. *nods* Some people will be insensitive regardless. And I realize I have to eat these words myself at times, but they're good reminders. That's why we have each other, and perhaps so many others that we didn't realize we had, to talk to, to cry against, and just to be there with and for when the time calls for it.
    I have no idea who I am. All I can say is let's rock hard.

  4. #84
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Posts
    3,424

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    For a long time I simply assumed that he begrudgingly accepted my appearance in a trade-off for having a cool and smart girlfriend/wife.
    Haha, well said. I always figure that if I get a good decent girlfriend, she would feel pretty much the same about me, same reasoning you gave here. We are all probably being too hard on ourselves.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  5. #85
    Senior Member millerm277's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Posts
    978

    Default

    Mine doesn't vary much. I'm slightly above average in my opinion. Not going to go into more details, as I'd sound like I'm bragging about something, which isn't what I want to do. I like who I am, and think I have a realistic opinion of my looks, and try to keep it that way.

    There are a few days where I feel worse, but that's generally about something real, like having bloodshot eyes or the like. (Whenever it's allergy season, or I'm tired, my eyes become more bloodshot than someone that's been on the alcohol and pot diet for the past week.)
    I-95%, S-84%, T-89%, P-84%

  6. #86
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6
    Posts
    24,060

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Haha, well said. I always figure that if I get a good decent girlfriend, she would feel pretty much the same about me, same reasoning you gave here. We are all probably being too hard on ourselves.
    I think you're right about that. I have had the experience several times of seeing an old photo of myself and being surprised that I was actually kind of cute back then. But at the time the picture was taken I didn't think so, and looked back on even earlier photos as the good ol' days. I'm starting to wonder why I don't go ahead and claim that in the present.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  7. #87
    Senior Member StoryOfMyLife's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INfJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    619

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I think you're right about that. I have had the experience several times of seeing an old photo of myself and being surprised that I was actually kind of cute back then. But at the time the picture was taken I didn't think so, and looked back on even earlier photos as the good ol' days. I'm starting to wonder why I don't go ahead and claim that in the present.
    I was a cute kid, no doubt about that. I was the same-- harder on myself in the past than I really should have been...but when one gets teased and called ugly or fat or is told that her clothes look like they came from a flea market on a regular basis, it gets taken to heart and is believed to be true after so long

    *lol* maybe we are all being a little too hard on ourselves-- but we are the hardest judges of ourselves as well...I guess it all has to do with self-esteem/confidence as ourselves as a whole.


    That's why we have each other, and perhaps so many others that we didn't realize we had, to talk to, to cry against, and just to be there with and for when the time calls for it.
    And sometimes it is a little more often than I'd like on my part, but if we need it, we need it...it's good to have an outlet
    Don't hate me because you're beautiful.
    4w5



    http://www.mangabullet.com/visitme/ImaginAries.png

  8. #88
    Senior Member GinKuusouka's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    2w3 sp/sx
    Socionics
    INFp
    Posts
    238

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by StoryOfMyLife View Post
    And sometimes it is a little more often than I'd like on my part, but if we need it, we need it...it's good to have an outlet
    Absolutely.
    I have no idea who I am. All I can say is let's rock hard.

  9. #89
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,586

    Default

    My impression is that confidence in one's own appearance is more grounded in emotion than physical appearance. The outward appearance can positively contribute to the emotional feeling of attractiveness, but it is not the core. Having family, peers, and friends socially reinforce the feeling of attractiveness is what typically makes people feel beautiful. An attractive person without that can easily feel ugly, and an average person can feel and carry themselves as beautiful if it is reinforced. This is my understanding of it so far.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  10. #90
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6
    Posts
    24,060

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    My impression is that confidence in one's own appearance is more grounded in emotion than physical appearance. The outward appearance can positively contribute to the emotional feeling of attractiveness, but it is not the core. Having family, peers, and friends socially reinforce the feeling of attractiveness is what typically makes people feel beautiful. An attractive person without that can easily feel ugly, and an average person can feel and carry themselves as beautiful if it is reinforced. This is my understanding of it so far.
    I tend to agree, with one caveat: if you go through a period in which your peers and friends do not reinforce feelings of attractiveness, and in fact go out of their way (not so much friends but other peers) to undermine them, the effects can be hard to get over even with a healthy support network as an adult. Add to that that it can become a self-fulfilling prophesy (in my case, being called fat when I wasn't all that fat led to emotional eating and low energy, and the problem snowballed until I really was fat) and the feedback loop is hard to break.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] Self-Image of the INFJ
    By bronson in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 11-30-2014, 03:01 AM
  2. [INTJ] Stuttering, Poor Self-Image and Resultant Lack of Confidence in an INTJ?
    By Far7anR in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-01-2014, 03:15 PM
  3. [ENFJ] ENFJ self-image as exemplary human being
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 02-06-2011, 04:35 PM
  4. [NF] Ideal self image of idealists.
    By Priori in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 02-11-2009, 09:57 PM
  5. Images of the Cognitive Functions
    By Mort Belfry in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 02-21-2008, 07:15 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO