- Joined
- May 31, 2009
- Messages
- 14,497
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially in conjunction with the young people in my life.
I used to think identity came from the social roles we play in our connection to other people, the job we do, and the skills we have, and I think they contribute, but they are not powerful enough in themselves to offer a sense of who we really are fundamentally.
Personality is a component of identity, but people can even over identify with their personality type, at the expense of being the individual they are.
At a course this summer, it talked about certain kinds of play allowing us as children to try different personas, professions, ways of relating on for size and teaching us what doesn't change, or what remains constant though it all.
I think accepting or reconciling our looks, name, age, gender, parentage, ethnicity, nationality, are a part of gaining a firm sense of identity, but even they don't make up the core of who we are even though they contribute to it it and are not easy to change.
I believe small children rely solely on the adults or older people in their lives to borrow their identity from, and when they are very young, have little more than their age, and their sex to define who they are. Hence boasting about how strong their dad is compared to the next kids', or how much money their family has etc. Kids always seem to need to sort out the hierarchy of who is best all the way down to worst at something so they can figure out where they fit in.
While I think our life events have a profound influence on us, I don't think they have to define us completely. Same with our possessions, education, or earning power.
Teenagers looking to find a sense of identity often use music or clothing, or makeup, hobbies or friend groups to gain a superficial sense of who they are, but it is mostly circumstantial or something that can easily be changed.
What do you think it is that truly captures the essence of who we are at our core, and what defines the way we see ourselves?
I used to think identity came from the social roles we play in our connection to other people, the job we do, and the skills we have, and I think they contribute, but they are not powerful enough in themselves to offer a sense of who we really are fundamentally.
Personality is a component of identity, but people can even over identify with their personality type, at the expense of being the individual they are.
At a course this summer, it talked about certain kinds of play allowing us as children to try different personas, professions, ways of relating on for size and teaching us what doesn't change, or what remains constant though it all.
I think accepting or reconciling our looks, name, age, gender, parentage, ethnicity, nationality, are a part of gaining a firm sense of identity, but even they don't make up the core of who we are even though they contribute to it it and are not easy to change.
I believe small children rely solely on the adults or older people in their lives to borrow their identity from, and when they are very young, have little more than their age, and their sex to define who they are. Hence boasting about how strong their dad is compared to the next kids', or how much money their family has etc. Kids always seem to need to sort out the hierarchy of who is best all the way down to worst at something so they can figure out where they fit in.
While I think our life events have a profound influence on us, I don't think they have to define us completely. Same with our possessions, education, or earning power.
Teenagers looking to find a sense of identity often use music or clothing, or makeup, hobbies or friend groups to gain a superficial sense of who they are, but it is mostly circumstantial or something that can easily be changed.
What do you think it is that truly captures the essence of who we are at our core, and what defines the way we see ourselves?