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  1. #31
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Well I am an extrovert, and I think I am quite happy; I don't necessarily spend a lot of time with people but I spend a lot of time interacting with the outside world, in general.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  2. #32
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Martoon View Post
    I was reading the results on a study of happiness a while back (too lazy to try to find it now). There have been billions of studies on depression, but few on happiness - what do happy people have in common, etc.

    One of the big things they concluded is that happy people spend most of their time surrounded by friends and family. They're always with people. So if you want to be happy, be an extrovert.

    I have a strong suspicion this study was conducted by extroverts, who likely used extroverted tendencies as a metric of happiness. One thing I'm sure of; if I was always with people, I'd be decidedly unhappy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kyrielle View Post
    Do you think a more accurate way to put that finding is people who are happy have stable relationships with friends and family? Even if you don't see them all the time, you still have them to be there for you. Wouldn't that contribute to the ever elusive feeling of belonging?

    Which also might be what they're driving at: happier people tend to feel like they belong somewhere regardless of their social tendencies.
    Quote Originally Posted by Martoon View Post
    I agree with that assertion, but in their report on their findings, they very clearly said that happy people spend most of their time around other people, and are seldom alone. They really pushed the "if you're not interacting socially most of the time, it's unhealthy" thing.
    I've read a couple of studies like that as well, but I've interpreted it as being much like Kyrielle says: that happy people have healthy support systems, feel connected to others, and don't feel isolated and alone. You can be very much the introvert and have those resources available to you. Maybe those who are depressed have a complete lack of support system and don't know how to get one. That's independent of being an extrovert or introvert, but I can see how being introverted can exacerbate and amplify loneliness and depression. Like a single mother with a network of people available to her to help her take care of children is going to be less stressed than one who has no one to help her. Could be along the same lines.

    Maybe what correlated extroversion with happiness is that extroverts are more likely to seek out those types of affiliation relationships driven by the basic fact that we're social animals. I know that even if I'm at the grocery store or on public transportation I'm responsive to someone talking to me and I'm likely to draw something positive even if it's short-lived from the transaction. That contributes to my happiness. If someone can't even stand someone saying hello to them (not wanting an in depth conversation just basic social politeness) and they have negative feelings towards these little transactions then I think it's natural that what makes most other people happy and satisfied won't make them happy and if it happens often enough they're going to be unhappy people.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
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    Social Penetration Theory 3

  3. #33
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    I think this confusion does happen a lot.

    Extraverts often behave like Introverts when depressed. Thus, when they see Introverts, they assume the Introverts are depressed. It seems pretty logical on the surface, I admit.

    The thing is, Introverts aren't necessarily less happy because they're not interacting with people or their environment much. There can be some confusion in this, of course, because sometimes Introverts are in fact unhappy and withdrawn, making it difficult to distinguish them from the above case of an Extravert who is depressed and withdrawn as a result.

    So, how can there not be confusion? I'd be more surprised if people had gotten it right.

  4. #34
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Probably the worst thing someone could do to me is surprise me, drag me away from whatever I'm doing, and give no indication of when I'll be able to get back on track.

    Unfortunately, this is how most people tend to interact. So, when someone shows up, and I'm very obviously not happy to see them, they either immediately jump to the conclusion that I hate them or that I'm depressed (especially if it's over a long period of time).

    I suppose it goes a little like this:
    1. Do not bother me when I'm busy.
    2. I am always busy.

    And I suppose the mixed messages that I can be quite talkative at a party or dinner as long as I know when I will leave.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  5. #35
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    Probably the worst thing someone could do to me is surprise me, drag me away from whatever I'm doing, and give no indication of when I'll be able to get back on track.

    Unfortunately, this is how most people tend to interact. So, when someone shows up, and I'm very obviously not happy to see them, they either immediately jump to the conclusion that I hate them or that I'm depressed (especially if it's over a long period of time).

    I suppose it goes a little like this:
    1. Do not bother me when I'm busy.
    2. I am always busy.

    And I suppose the mixed messages that I can be quite talkative at a party or dinner as long as I know when I will leave.
    Still wondering, who changed the content of your toothpaste to mustard ?
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #36
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    entropie - you look different - did you lose weight? :drools:

    One thing that hasn't been considered here, is that there may be more than one cause of the constellation of symptoms/attitude we refer to as introversion. I.e. It could be a "normal" mutation for some (e.g. short D4DR gene) but the consequence of an abnormal adaptation to a hostile early environment in others - i.e. predating any expression of "innate" introvert/extrovert tendencies.

    Introverts can become depressed because society expects/demands extroversion. Any oppressed minority can become depressed for similar reasons (although introverts aren't necessarily in the minority, it feels that way because we don't stick together). Women are also more likely to experience depression than men. Blacks than whites.. you get the picture.

    The neurotransmitter most implicated in depression is serotonin, which isn't implicated in I/E dynamic (as far as I know).

    Also, depression and happiness are not opposites. See Bipolar disorder.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  7. #37
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    I sometimes enjoy being around people without having to interact with them. Being in company but absorbed in something else.

    Does this relate to Introversion or Extroversion and is it just a horribly, selfish, sucking up of other people's energy.
    yesiknowimamiserablegrouchnowgoawayovmeleor

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  8. #38
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    I sometimes enjoy being around people without having to interact with them. Being in company but absorbed in something else.

    Does this relate to Introversion or Extroversion and is it just a horribly, selfish, sucking up of other people's energy.
    I tend to hate being around people if I am doing something. Who knows why, I just dislike it.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Uh-huh, but I'm not talking about doing something constructive. I'm talking about being mindlessly absorbed watching TV or being on the 'net. (Okay that's not so mindless.) If it was something that needed concentration I wouldn't enjoy being around people either.
    yesiknowimamiserablegrouchnowgoawayovmeleor

    It's Mizzz ST, thank you...

  10. #40
    Senior Member Ilah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    Probably the worst thing someone could do to me is surprise me, drag me away from whatever I'm doing, and give no indication of when I'll be able to get back on track.

    Unfortunately, this is how most people tend to interact. So, when someone shows up, and I'm very obviously not happy to see them, they either immediately jump to the conclusion that I hate them or that I'm depressed (especially if it's over a long period of time).

    I suppose it goes a little like this:
    1. Do not bother me when I'm busy.
    2. I am always busy.

    And I suppose the mixed messages that I can be quite talkative at a party or dinner as long as I know when I will leave.
    I don't know if that is introversion or not, but I feel something similiar in terms of being in control.

    It feels very stressful to be in situations where I feel I can't leave or it would be very difficult to leave. For example I once worked at a job at a mall where I had to stand behind my display table my whole shift. "Friendly" people would come up to me and engage in lengthy one-sided conversations with me. It was very stressful because I did not have the option of leaving.

    I also feel a little uncomfortable if someone gives me a ride somewhere and I am dependant on them for a ride home. I might be okay for the full lenght of the event, but I feel more comfortable knowing I could leave early if I started to feel worn out or stressed. I think I am less likely to feel worn out or stressed if I know I have the option of leaving anytime I wanted to.

    I don't care for open ended excursions either. Things like "we can just look around till we feel like going home." Generally, I am the first person to want to go home, but if I voice that opinion I feel like I am ruining others fun, others will think poorly of me, I might damage a relationship, etc.

    Open ended things are not so bad if I am on my own, but I still prefer to have a schedule.

    Ilah

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