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Anger: Are you an anger prone person?

LightSun

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Joined
Aug 9, 2009
Messages
1,107
MBTI Type
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#9
Anger: Do you have anger and if you do, do you like it? How can it be leveled or kept in a balanced state? Does it fuel your drive or perhaps can you be prisoner to the emotion of anger? Why or how can anger be deadly or counter-productive? How does it get out of control? Do you have good anger management as well the needed deescalating skills in coping with your anger?

How do you think your anger was made manifest? If given the circumstances your childhood was different, do you think you’d have less anger?


"When another person is angry, one who remains mindful and calm acts for his own best interest and for the others interest, too." Buddha

“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.” James Thurber

"Choosing not to act on an angry impulse and to feel the pain that lies beneath it is a very courageous thing to do."~ Gary Zukav
 

Lark

Active member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
I was when I was younger, I dont think I'm angry now, but I am always interested in reading about it and training to have even better control of anger.
 

Upnextup

New member
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Jun 10, 2017
Messages
59
MBTI Type
INFJ
In general, anger comes from feeling attacked. But I think getting angry with someone can also show that you care about them enough to be bothered by their upsets that you get upset yourself- a way of showing you care that much about them and what they think.
 

á´…eparted

passages
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Jan 25, 2014
Messages
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My temper is vicious and shredding. At it's worse my sole goal will be to inflict as much damage as possible, and I am very good at it. It's all verbal and quick. Note though, I never get physical. I have a very long fuse though, and given the proper circumstance I will always keep it under control. IRL though people have no idea I have a temper unless they have seen it come out which is exceedingly rare.

Anger can be like a drug for me. When I feel justified with it I will really like it.
 
Joined
Apr 24, 2016
Messages
1,659
It depends on the situation, but I don't usually get very angry to the point where I blow up and lose my cool. That's a pretty rare occasion for me because I'm generally not a big fan of making a scene, so instead I tend to withdraw and keep it all boiling inside. However, I am able to acknowledge when I am angry and understand it is a valid emotion that everyone goes through in life, so I would try to embrace it instead of shying away from it. I would then usually search for activities that would help me send this energy outward, but in a more positive light that tends to bring forward a more centered peace of mind. I find that fixating my energy on something meaningful to me, like creating art, is an incredibly soothing endeavor. In addition, I enjoy putting on some anger-ridden music like punk and other loud, noisy, and energetic styles of music to fully immerse myself in that moment as a coping mechanism. I also find a more rigorous form of yoga to be very therapeutic for anger as well. These would be all more than efficient ways for me to embrace my inner fury.

In general though, I find that anger can provide a positive outcome in certain instances, but too much of anything usually turns into a negative imo, especially with a fiery emotion like anger. With almost everything in life, there needs to be some sort of balance, but it also depends on how much each person can take. I, myself, am not the kind of person who would benefit from too much anger because my state of mind is a huge contributing factor to my own life choices. If it's not balanced to my own comfort, than my mind would most likely spiral out of control and chaos would probably ensue. I'm also pretty certain that experiencing an alternate childhood would produce a much different effect on how my anger would manifest as well as how I would deal with it myself. A different life experience could very likely indicate a different way in how one deals with anything in life, so it's quite possible I could be generally less angry in that sense too, and vice versa.
 

The Cat

Just a Cat who hangs out at the Crossroads
Staff member
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It happens sometimes.
 

ceecee

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I'm an e8 - anger is always with me. I've said this before in the enneagram forum - it's like change in my pocket. It's there when I need it. Mostly it's a motivation tool but there are times it comes out at someone. Not often, I'm not expending that kind of energy for nothing. I can be ruthless and vicious when it's required but it's not just because or for the fun or enjoyment of it. I have pretty good anger management and I can deescalate conflicts that involve myself but I'm much better with others and that's probably with Ni helping. Childhood? I have a ESTJ e8 father. I think that explains a great deal.
 

highlander

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I'm an e8 - anger is always with me. I've said this before in the enneagram forum - it's like change in my pocket. It's there when I need it. Mostly it's a motivation tool but there are times it comes out at someone. Not often, I'm not expending that kind of energy for nothing. I can be ruthless and vicious when it's required but it's not just because or for the fun or enjoyment of it. I have pretty good anger management and I can deescalate conflicts that involve myself but I'm much better with others and that's probably with Ni helping. Childhood? I have a ESTJ e8 father. I think that explains a great deal.

I'm a bit like this as well. I've always looked upon anger as my friend. It's an extremely effective tool to help motivate me to act. There have been occasions where I have gotten wrapped around the axle for some seemingly insignificant thing based on principle if I feel like people aren't listening to me but for the most part, I find it to be a useful emotion. At one time, I used to get upset with other drivers who I thought were bad or when stuck in horrible rush hour traffic but I don't really do that as much anymore. Maybe I was more in a hurry or maybe I was less patient. Come to think of it, I have probably mellowed a lot because I used to get upset about people who were difficult or an obstacle at work too.
 

Scapegoated 4 fun

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Anger: Do you have anger and if you do, do you like it? How can it be leveled or kept in a balanced state? Does it fuel your drive or perhaps can you be prisoner to the emotion of anger? Why or how can anger be deadly or counter-productive? How does it get out of control? Do you have good anger management as well the needed deescalating skills in coping with your anger? How do you think your anger was made manifest? If given the circumstances your childhood was different, do you think you’d have less anger? "When another person is angry, one who remains mindful and calm acts for his own best interest and for the others interest, too." Buddha “Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.” James Thurber "Choosing not to act on an angry impulse and to feel the pain that lies beneath it is a very courageous thing to do."~ Gary Zukav
I have anger, I don't like it because it tends to sabotage the relationships I value so much with other people, it also gets in the way of me being able to communicate my nicer more thoughtful side with others. It definitely does feel good to let it out though, although I'm not a fan of uninhibited displays of anger for no reason as I am an intj and thus expect others/myself to have a good reason to express anger when anger is expressed, as I am aware of the potentially destructive/harmful nature of such displays.
If my parents payed more attention to and valued more what I had to say when I was younger and aren't so judge mental about me being a little different I imagine I would have less anger. Considerably less anger. Also if they took my concerns more seriously instead of assuming I'm purposely doing it for attention when I would cry sometimes. In this way they were quite neglectful but I forgive them as I know they did their best as parents and sometimes that's all you can ask for I think
 

Scapegoated 4 fun

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Also, my father is an ESTJ (they commonly display sadistic tendencies) and I think that contributed to my anger a good deal
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
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i usually turn anger back onto myself or at a larger non-person entity (like Society or some smaller subset thereof). i don't know if it's bad or good, but i've definitely worked on being less angry at myself without finding myself getting angry at others more often.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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Anger is not natural to my temperament, but I am capable of much greater anger than others can see externally. I can comprehend a great deal of the darker side of reality and human nature, and I can call up rage to match it in response, but I don't talk casually about it. It isn't a process I enjoy, and I don't like the feeling of anger, but it is an important response that I am capable of experiencing.
 

ceecee

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Also, my father is an ESTJ (they commonly display sadistic tendencies) and I think that contributed to my anger a good deal

I've found them to be bullies more than sadistic. They always back down when called out. Needless to say, they tend stick to bullying the weak and vulnerable. Not people who won't take their shit.
 

Poki

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No, i have my anger controlled to so it doesnt control me.

Uncontrolled anger and frustratiom ruins to many things.
 

Littleclaypot

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No, not at all. On the rare occasion that I do get angry and worked up, I get over it really quickly.. I find that most things are not worth my energy.
 

HisKittyKat

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I didn't have anger Issues as a kid, I was happy go lucky for the most part. I often though adults were strange by what they did or said, I felt a lot of annoyance though, still do. As an Adult I do have some anger Issues, however not enough to have to put myself in check. What angers me, well honestly it takes a lot to get me angry, once I'm there you better move out of my way, I see red and my hearing is blank lol. People anger me, circumstances might anger me, it really does depend.

How do I ensure my level of anger will remain calm, I stay away from things that provoke me, people who provoke me, situations that provoke me.

My anger doesn't extend to things that are happening in the world like war or anything I can't change. Anything abusive with animals or children/elders anger me a lot. I don't flinch when I see things on TV that some people feel sad about etc. ( bombing/shootings in cities ect. )....I don't get myself worked up over things I have no control over.

When I'm at home or in my community I have no reason to ever feel anger. It's only when I surround myself online with strangers or allow things that will never be relevant in my reality that can annoy me. I've experienced more anger online than I have in the real world, the upside of it I have full control over what/who I will or won't allow to get in my head/heart in a virtual world.

All that said I think It's great to have a moment of rage, I actually enjoy it, weird huh ? I love releasing all that pressure, it feels so good to get it all out. I'm told I'm quite frightening and sexy at the same time when I'm angry, whateva :shrug::shrug:
 

Forever

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People need to use anger to do things, not throw it at others.
 

Yay

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No, not at all, and when I get angry I usually just start crying.. so when I'm angry it just comes off as me being sad usually :dry:
 
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