Creating circumstances or created by them

[Bella]

Lol! Corny is acceptable ^_^b

Thanks...you're kind.

 

[Bella]

I probably feel the same way as k. I can be happy without a killer career or a Ferrari, but I won't be satisfied until the "true love" thing works out, hopefully for more than a couple months the second time.

That's nice, from you...

 

[Jack Flak]

That's nice, from you...

I don't do "nice," I do true. Mhehe, but seriously, "nice...from you." isn't a very nice thing to say, is it?

 

[Bella]

Oh, no, it was a compliment.

 

[Totenkindly]

Oh, interesting. Now that I think about it, this really is the same as the Nature vs Nurture argument..

Some people believe that our circumstances create us. We are molded from whatever events we experience in our lives and we adapt to future events accordingly. Thusly, we are our circumstances. Because we are shaped from them we can blame (or thank) the random cards we are given throughout our lives.

...

Flip the token and you get another idea. We create our circumstances. Let me clarify: circumstances still happen but it is up to us to appraise them. Therefore our circumstances are what we make of them....

The reason the argument "continues" is because it's both.

The paradigms are "ways of seeing" rather than exclusive truths.

When you look at the infamous silhouette, where you have to decide whether the shape is a woman or a duck, (or perhaps the other picture, where the subject is either an old crone or a young woman), you cannot say it is one or the other. As human beings, we usually only see one of the images at a time... but they're both superimposed on each other. They both exist at the same time, and we cannot be more specific.

Likewise, when you look at a gemstone, you cannot say the gemstone is one facet or another facet -- you can merely say it is a gemstone.

Likewise:
I create my circumstances.
I am created by my circumstances.
There is no either/or.
There is only "I."

...When it comes to what goes on inside, I really do believe that one can rise high, high above what circumstances you are in or have experienced in the past. It is a powerful and wonderful thing when it finally sinks in.

The bold part is what makes this work.

Sometimes I can change my external circumstances.
Sometimes I cannot (especially where the will of other people is involved -- we can't actually force anyone to choose to favor us).

All I change is how I view my circumstances and how I let them impact me.

Some people are in wonderful circumstances and yet are miserable.
Others are in miserable circumstances and yet act wonderfully.
We know which type we are attracted to more easily.
Which ones we would rather be.

It's because we are responsible for the things we can control.
The rest is a matter of perspective.

Put another way, how I see it is that we all start out in cages.
We think we're locked inside the cage and can't get out.
Actually, though, the cage is not locked at all.
We either tell ourselves it is, or we're scared to push open the door.

It's scary to be outside the cage.
There are no bars.
You can do anything -- ANYTHING -- you desire.
Which is terrifying because now you are totally responsible for your life.
You can't blame anyone else for how it turns out.
If you leave the cage, you might starve, or you might freeze, or you might swelter, or you might be assailed, or you might not get everything you want.
But you're free.
That's the plus.

And if you choose to step outside anyway, everyone else in their cages will yell at you and tell you that you're not allowed to do that.
They'll do everything in their power to get you to go back in, sit on the ground, and live in the cage like they are.
Because It scares them to see you free.
Because they realize they too could be free.
But they know at some level they're too scared to be free.

 

[Chris_in_Orbit]

Jennifer!!...

Great insights indeed. I think thats all that I can say.

 

[Chris_in_Orbit]

Uhm, I don't think so, love isn't a big part of my life....it's over theeeere. I could never use it as a definition for anything.

Hah, I would love to see the day when someone sweeps you off your feet and you change your mind completly.

Nothing controls us. We can learn or adopt a lifestyle from circumstance but it never truly controls us. People let themselves be controlled by it because it is easier then living without out it, with having to create your own circumstance. Circumstance is the largest excuse. If you are threaten with your life to do something, and you do it only to say "I had no choice, it was because of the situation, under the circumstances". This is wrong, This is letting yourself be controlled by circumstance because although your convictions are against it, you are not strong enough to create your own circumstance, to die, or get fired, break up with your better half, steal, dont steal and etc. Your personality created by circumstance is what someone tells themself to sleep easier or to get over a mistake or misdeed they have done.

True, it usually is an excuse because its always easier to stay in a circumstance and take no responsibilities for it. In the end we have a good level of control whether we want to believe it or not: We can choose some of our circumstances and the rest we can choose how they affect us or change our perspective towards it.

On another note, I often see this debate become a little selfish. I feel like people who think they have bad lives often think they are a product of their circumstances while someone who is very well off would say that individuals create their circumstances. It all seems to come down to a self serving bias. We take credit when things go right and blame others when things do not.