Overcoming Perfectionism?

[Obfuscate]

 

[StrawberryBoots]

Ever since I got my final grades back I've been in feeling pretty down on myself because one of the grades was a B+. I should be happy with it because these classes are extremely difficult, and I do work full-time, but but I still just cannot rationalize that it's ok for me to get anything less than A's. I feel like I'm constantly working towards something that isn't realistically obtainable, and these ridiculously high standards always set me up to "fail." (in my eyes). It's exhausting and I hate that I am this way, but I don't know how to stop. This mindset only leads to self deprecation, and lingering thoughts about whether or not I should even continue to try. If it can't be perfect, then I don't even want to try. I know I sound like a sick puppy, but hopefully someone out there can relate.


I've tried to not focus on just the outcome or the end product alone, because that it what I tend to do and I just get tunnel vision, in a sense.
I know perfectionism is something that every personality type can experience, but I feel like the more idealistic types suffer from it more. If you suffer from perfectionism, then how do you overcome, and what coping mechanisms do you use?

Dr. Levin was my professor too. When you say, "I'm striving for an A," and he tells you, "There's more than one way to skin a cat," realize a B+ is alright. Sometimes, the A isn't worth it.

 

[Littleclaypot]

Dr. Levin was my professor too. When you say, "I'm striving for an A," and he tells you, "There's more than one way to skin a cat," realize a B+ is alright. Sometimes, the A isn't worth it.

Thanks for the wisdom! <3

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I saw this title and instantly knew it was you who posted it. I'll try to come back and contribute, as I relate to your struggles very, very much.

If it's any consolation, I think you are awesome and I can see your success from here.

 

[Littleclaypot]

I saw this title and instantly knew it was you who posted it. I'll try to come back and contribute, as I relate to your struggles very, very much.

If it's any consolation, I think you are awesome and I can see your success from here.

Ha, how'd you know?
I'm both sad and happy that you can relate. Thanks, I think you're awesome, too! EVERYTHING MUST BE PERRRRFECCTTTT ADKLFJGLDKFGJLDFGJ

 

[kotoshinohaisha]

Try cognitive behavior therapy

Tapatalk Cloud - Downlaoad File 2006_-_cognitive_behavioural_therapy_for_dummies_-_wilson__branch.pdf

 

[Wunjo]

In regards to psychoanalysis, I think one can say that perfectionism is not an issue, rather it is a symptom of a true issue lying underneath, which can be linked to an unconscious image of an ideal self which must be perfect in order to protect the individual from his or her own insecurities, in a way, to overcompensate perceived internal imperfections which symbiotically exchange psychological energy with the spoken insecurities as well. However, since the demands of the ideal image cannot be met perfectly in every attempt, this defense mechanism in itself is likely to create new insecurities, which are usually projected to the outside world via externalization.

I think the answer to overcoming perfectionism lies in solving the possible internal conflicts lying underneath it.

But how can we solve those conflicts?

I think you should start by asking yourself the question; "What am I trying to hide from myself and others by trying to achieve perfection seemingly impossible even to my own eyes?" Perhaps, what you truly seeking is not perfection, but to cover something much more flawed to you by trying to mold perfection. Speaking of conflicts again, reading about their nature would sure help to a point, but personally my opinion is focused upon making the idealized self image conscious, thus we'll able to see what conflicts are hidden by it, mostly, we create that image to overcome the anxiety created by these conflicts, but then, things may get out of hand and we may start to satisfy the desires of the idealized self image, which we illusorily think as our own wishes and wants. Only by making that ideal image conscious, we can realize what we truly want and what we truly not want and can move accordingly and freely.

I hope this helps.

 

[The Cat]

I've found this helpful over the years...

 

[DB968]

^

That video is priceless.

 

[Population: 1]

What is more imperfect than a venture never attempted or left incomplete? A B+ is a solid indicator that you understand what you set out to learn. Stress caused by worrying over attaining perfection may lead to decreased performance, the focus being taken away from the task and placed upon the expectation which is unrealistic. The difference between an A and a B+ is relatively small unless one is concerned with having matching letters across the board.

 

[The Cat]

 

[Kas]

Ever since I got my final grades back I've been in feeling pretty down on myself because one of the grades was a B+. I should be happy with it because these classes are extremely difficult, and I do work full-time, but but I still just cannot rationalize that it's ok for me to get anything less than A's. I feel like I'm constantly working towards something that isn't realistically obtainable, and these ridiculously high standards always set me up to "fail." (in my eyes). It's exhausting and I hate that I am this way, but I don't know how to stop. This mindset only leads to self deprecation, and lingering thoughts about whether or not I should even continue to try. If it can't be perfect, then I don't even want to try. I know I sound like a sick puppy, but hopefully someone out there can relate.

I've tried to not focus on just the outcome or the end product alone, because that it what I tend to do and I just get tunnel vision, in a sense.
I know perfectionism is something that every personality type can experience, but I feel like the more idealistic types suffer from it more. If you suffer from perfectionism, then how do you overcome, and what coping mechanisms do you use?

I relate.

But then when you think what would happen if you don't do everything that may not be perfect, that would be a very boring life, wouldn't it?

Try to concentrate of what you succeeded in. Perfection is out of our reach, but striving for perfection is quite something.

 

[Mole]

A trance can be induced by any repetition, and the attempt to be perfect is a good trance inducer because, as we never reach perfection, we are constantly repeating the attempt and so entrancing ourselves.

The way out of any trance is not by consciously trying to end it, but simply by introducing a small extraneous element into the trance. You might try being a little perfectionist, but any small extraneous element will do. Just make one up.