"If it is hard for you to "change", then how can you "realistically" and rationally believe that you can "change" another human "being"? Knowing this truth could prevent so much misery. People are always seeing to change others rather than look within. We as a species resist change for it is both painful as well very difficult. A change agent reformer will have the vision of a wonderful future, but will be resisted. We as individuals seek to maintain order, clarity, and consistency within our lives.
To go against status quo is profoundly resisted. We also largely live in the moment. This is to mean we react versus plan for contingencies proactively. Reading psychological profiles, there are some types who consistently perform rather well with a solution focused and a more future oriented base. Nonetheless we happen to be guided very much by emotion, in a sort of pain-pleasure paradigm. We seek avoiding any pain (change), while seeking gratification with worldly pleasures. Many are of an illusion type.
When we die are all our hours spending on immediate gratification such as sex, clothes, money, possessions and food, will it avail us? I according with Maslow and also Csikszentmihaly go with a "flow" and or seeking "peak experiences," as my optimal level of seeking a "truer" life experience. Or call it actualizing potential as well as in developing my latent gifts as more fulfilling than chasing the illusion type of distractions in life. All the wisdom quotes say to look within and that if something bothers us there is a disturbance within the self. It is a blind spot from our spiritual awareness.
This it is the most opportune time for spiritual growth, to act with reason and compassion no matter the external event. It is because of the blind spots we all have that we see the twig in our fellow man's eye but not the log in our own. If each concentrated on their journey and remaining true to it this world would be a better place. Instead we cast blame, castigate and judge others not knowing we are giving in to our own blind spots of spiritual awareness and projecting our fears and prejudices.
Even wanting to change and become a better person, does not necessitate an actual occurrence of the desired change will occur. For we seem to fight ourselves. It is a phenomenon. It is as if we as children have been molded into a shape. To change we have to figuratively metamorphosis into a new person. New things scare people. This is why the young are more revolutionary. They see things don’t work and think they have all the plans to change things for the better, even resorting to violence.
After all they can feel invulnerable, strong, and virtually impervious. Plus they happen not being enmeshed by illusion qualities as wealth, a house, multiple possessions, a spouse and family, responsibilities as bills, so forth. As a person grows older one finds oneself chained by invisible chains like the materialism in the world. They then act as guardians protecting their assets in their own self made enclosed castles of materialism protecting the very things that possess them.
Change is always difficult because we are comfortable doing things a certain way. We can resist change even if it is good for us in the long run. For every right we have, we have fought, and fought hard. In the long run we shall not be denied. I once long ago said "Change is hard." Somebody unknown to me replied, "Maybe for you."
Okay (1) Your a hard right Conservative now change to a hard core left Democrat liberal. Or do the reverse.
(2) You are a hunter, have animal trophy heads upon your mantel piece wear fur coats now change and become a vegetarian and never take an animal's life. Or the reverse a vegetarian turn into a big game hunter.
(3) Your a theist or hold to what religious view you hold now change to an atheist view or do the reverse: a non-believer that turn into a believer of any type.
(4) Your a 'Thinker. Become a feeler. Again do this in reverse if it's the belief.
(5) I don't think we 'Change' as so rather come more into our own. That is developing our latent and hidden dormant faculties and evolve them into developing.
It is a true measure of character and spiritual development to take responsibility for one's emotions and not project our fears and prejudices to the outside world and other individuals. We have to experience deep rooted pain. For with a change, indeed all changes there are a risk of enduring pain. We instinctively avoid this pain, even when it is in our best interests. Until somehow we can override this fear complex chemically or by some other terrific means we will be enclosed in a prison of our own making, and that is what the mind is willing to endure, and what it is not.
'Stumbling blocks to effective change'
(1) Our belief system have been passed down the generations passed down in folk knowledge and wisdom sayings that does not possess scientific viability.
(2) We all have blind spots of awareness. We all can only glimmer a slice of reality and not reality in it's entirety due to blind spots and unfinished business and issues.
(3) Cognitive Dissonance prevents change because if a person is met with something unfamiliar, strange or different they shall be uncomfortable and so seek to disquiet the discomfort in a reactionary way that may be irrational.
(4) There are defensive Mechanisms designed to not look at areas inside us that might harbor pain and so we instinctively avoid this.
(5) If we are being of a Dogmatic and rigid nature we shall not be open minded enough. We shall be resistant to change.
(6) We instinctively fear the unknown. We have a tendency to say to ourselves, "Well I know my reality and if I do these changes it will be discomforting and I might lose out and I'll end up worse off." We don't want to give up what we feel as a right or a possession.
(7) We all have a type of lens in our perception of reality. Think of it as the Hubble telescope. Fear and hurts distort the lens or the ability to see and deal with reality realistically. We may give in to defenses by overcompensating and not addressing the problem areas.
(8) We are a reactive species. It probably is in the DNA of 100, 000 years of our forebears. They had to be at constant vigilance. We aren't behaviorally adept with the more actualized proactive stance.
(9) It all begins in our childhood with dysfunctional parents, distortions and faulty beliefs. The schemas we inherit from our parents are then placed in the software of our experiences.
It's so easy to sleep as a caterpillar, but if we fear the transformation into a butterfly, we will never know the glorious sense of flight or reach our true potential. Think of child-birth. It is painful, but brings bountiful opportunities.We must shed our snake skin of blindness in order to see."
