that could be my problem, I don't have self-respect so maybe that causes me to have low self-esteem. Or did I develope low self-esteem and in the process lost my self-respect?
I can't define it, all I know is I don't think I've ever had any. I've always thought myself as unworthy, even though I try to tell myself I am worthy, it doesn't work.
That's like asking which came first, the chicken or the egg?
I've struggled with poor self-esteem and feelings of being unworthy of love for most of my life, too, but mine came from being abused as a child, so it's been a long healing process. Also I was depressed for a long time, and that is demoralizing as well.
Here's a cool site: The Enneagram Type Test
See if it has something to do with your enneagram.
Apparently, that can be a contributing factor, although it's another one of those "which came first" questions, I think.