.. you're probably right.
But I realize I do have a few values.
One is that I believe possession of another (i.e., domination) is evil personified.
(Probably because it negates choice and thus negates love.)
Originally Posted by Hmm
On the contrary, you have to trust someone to allow them to possess you. And trust breeds love.
Originally Posted by Jennifer
No, that is not "possession" as I refer to it.
You cannot "own" another person.
Existentially, the truth is we're all completely separate and solely responsible for our own choices.
(although sometimes we lie to ourselves so as to avoid responsibility for our decisions and/or to avoid the loneliness of being inherently separate)
Even with what you describe, you are still in charge of yourself because you CHOOSE to place yourself in the care of another. That can still be part of "love" -- both in that you trust someone that much AND in that they are willing to care for you.
The sort of possession I describe is when someone dominates someone else who is either naive or unwilling.
I have one very controling family member (mostly so with her children) and her parents were very controling. It seems like if you weren't allowed to control the day to day things that are age-apropriate as you grow up you try to make up for it in adulthood by controlling those closest to you. She also never had a career or hobbies to speak of so there were only children to fuss over. Fussing is a complete understatement here.
Based on personal experiences with having dealt with overbearingly controlling ppl in my life, I would say it's a cover-up for deep deep rooted-insecurities based on self-perpetuated feelings of unhappiness/unworthiness. That's just what I get from them.
I have an ESTJ uncle who won't get off his high-horse. The thought of him irks me. He gets so preachy & controlling that reminds me of a *so-called* 'fair/balanced' news analyst who I absolutely CANNOT stand. I just wonder how he ceases to live with himself day-in/day-out. So tempted to send him a variety package of Preparation-H signed by anonymous for X-mas. The man needs a chill pill..
If I sense that someone is trying to order me around or control me, it seems like I automatically will not do, or will do whatever half-ass, even if what they want me to do is what I really want to do too.
True that. It's like, I'm glad you just ensured that whatever you wanted will certainly not happen now.