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  1. #61
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    IF3157, do controlling people try to control you personally?
    Not usually, but on occasion I butt heads with them. I would not call myself the least controlling person, either, but I respect people's boundaries and space.
    hoarding time and space
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  2. #62
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    It is very egotistical. Being able to foresee and plan, why don't you have contingencies for if they fuck up- control your options? Absent reason (e.g. prior acts) that they will fuck up, why meddle?
    In short, where do you get off?
    As people in my country say " It is better to prevent then heal"

    It is possible that they will fuck up I the way every one will fuck up on the differnt way so you have a mess

    Why meddle?

    Because you are part of the team so they can damage you or other team members. Also my TJ part is hard to miss so many people are counting that I will be on alert all the time. But this is another story.

    It is all about efficacity.

    I will presume that you have read "What do you think about me" thread.
    One of the main reason why I must be more social is to gain more independence. To get that you need flexibility,what total introversion can't give you. You gain flexibility by having more options and you have more options by having bigger impact on people. What in the end leads to some controling behaviour.

    How to command other people in the way that they don't see it as a problem is another thing.

  3. #63
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Why meddle?

    Because you are part of the team so they can damage you or other team members. Also my TJ part is hard to miss so many people are counting that you will be on alert all the time. But this is another story.

    It is all about efficacity.
    Put yourself in the shoes of the girl I described. There's no team. Imagine that I'm not usually late. Now explain.

    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post

    I will presume that you have read "What do you think about me" thread..
    I haven't, actually.

    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    You gain flexibility by having more options and you have more options by having bigger impact on people. What in the end leads to some controling behaviour.

    How to comand other people in the way that they don't see it as a problem is another thing.
    So people are little toy soldiers without any will of their own to you? Or does it not matter in either case if they do?
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  4. #64
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    Put yourself in the shoes of the girl I described. There's no team. Imagine that I'm not usually late. Now explain.


    So people are little toy soldiers without any will of their own to you? Or does it not matter in either case if they do?
    You mean on the breakfast case.
    I am looking all over the thread and I am not sure on what do you mean.


    No, that is the stereotype about people like me which is not true in many cases. Good strategist pays a lot of attention that it is not too bossy and they value opinion of other people.

  5. #65
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    If you are talking about the phone thing that is stupid move from her side.

    But to tell you the truth I need wider context to give you my opinion.

  6. #66
    ⒺⓉⒷ Eric B's Avatar
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    A natural proclivity to control might be tied to extraversion, and especially pragmatism (Keirsey's temperament facet). After all, in both cases you are approaching another person and bearing influence. Also, role-directing and structure focus will also seem controlling, but both are more reactive.

    This would be illustrated in one of Horney's Coping Strategies:

    Moving Against:
    The individual threatens those perceived as a threat to avoid getting hurt.

    "Moving Towards" would be more of extraversion, and this can be in either a friendly or unfriendly stance.

    So E-TJ's will tend to be controlling, and I-TJ's will, but in a more passive way. Other T's or J's will also have some controlling traits. "Controlling" can also be manipulation to meet some need, who otherwise would not control others.

    To make sure, I had started the NF discussion on whether that group has "control" issues, and sure enough; they said they generally don't, though they can react when values are violated. Makes me still wonder how people like Hitler seem to end up being classed as NF, though. He generally is the epitome of "controlling", and of the classic "Choleric" temperament. (People seem to see him as operating off of a value system, but I don't think that was his preferred judgment).
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  7. #67
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    IF3157 tell me one thing. Was that breakfast important because of something or it was just a breakfast?

  8. #68
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Ooh, sorry. missed all this.
    It was just a breakfast. Nothing important. That was just one example of her controlling antics.

    Eric, now that I think about it in MBTI terms, she does fit ENTJ a lot.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  9. #69
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    Ooh, sorry. missed all this.
    It was just a breakfast. Nothing important. That was just one example of her controlling antics.

    Eric, now that I think about it in MBTI terms, she does fit ENTJ a lot.
    Try with ENTJ.

  10. #70
    Senior Member Grayscale's Avatar
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    i dont want you to make threads like this in the future... got that?

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