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  1. #41
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nocapszy View Post
    I always like to list conceit, a specific brand of it, as the cause.
    That is, to my controlling father, I mention how conceited he is for thinking that I wanted to do things his way, or that I had the same goals, and that his judgement is better etc.

    But that might be because I have some kind of odd obsession with conceit.
    Me too, a lil bit.
    With this girl, she wasn't generally conceited, though. And her border crossing was sometimes to be really sweet.

    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    I provided a handy semi-colon and part-explanation. Lack of independent thought, manipulation, lack of respect for nature etc.
    I know - I was looking for more information on the distrust you mentioned as applied to individuals (generic v. particularized), but no worries. Noisy people throw me off, too.
    hoarding time and space
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  2. #42
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    Me too, a lil bit.
    With this girl, she wasn't generally conceited, though. And her border crossing was sometimes to be really sweet.
    True enough.

    I am conceited, usually appropriately, and I'm the least controlling person I know.

  3. #43
    seńor member colmena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    I know - I was looking for more information on the distrust you mentioned as applied to individuals (generic v. particularized), but no worries. Noisy people throw me off, too.
    I don't really distrust individuals, and I don't control them. I show them what I'm into, if they identify, that's cool. If they don't, that's cool.

    I'm patient and respectful of people I'm fond of, and I expect the same in return. But this is more relationships than psychology.

    What sort of dynamic are you inquiring about? I've mentioned individuals and the masses, I haven't really dipped into other circles.
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    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
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  4. #44
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nocapszy View Post
    I always like to list conceit, a specific brand of it, as the cause. That is, to my controlling father, I mention how conceited he is for thinking that I wanted to do things his way, or that I had the same goals, and that his judgement is better etc.
    My dad's the same way.

    Then again, he grew up in a social environment (40's/50's) where the father was "God," and he was expected to be unflappable, not be wrong, make decisions for the family, discipline the children ("bad cop"), etc.

    And his dad was an anal ISTJ engineer. Yeah.

    But that might be because I have some kind of odd obsession with conceit.
    I'd say my dad's pretty conceited too. He's always right... because his ego is so weak he can't afford to be wrong, and he doesn't have enough discipline to deprive himself so as to indulge reasonable compromises with others.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #45
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    It sounds bad but some people are better off being controlled. *hides*

  6. #46
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    I'm patient and respectful of people I'm fond of, and I expect the same in return. But this is more relationships than psychology.
    Hmm . . . you're probably less able to shed light on this type of controlling behavior then.

    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    What sort of dynamic are you inquiring about? I've mentioned individuals and the masses, I haven't really dipped into other circles.
    Ok.
    This kind, which I've seen in people before and after the girl described:
    I had a friend in college, who, if I agreed to do early breakfast the next morning, would not leave it to me to get up and meet in time. She would give me an unsolicited wake up call to make sure (but hang up as soon as I picked up).
    Yes, it does seem compulsive to me. This reasoning is more convincing to me because she hung up when I picked up, suggesting that she's aware that this was boundary crossing, but went ahead and did it anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    It sounds bad but some people are better off being controlled. *hides*
    Another one emerges!
    Please say more.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  7. #47
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    It sounds bad but some people are better off being controlled. *hides*
    *gets out handcuffs*

    Hey, get back here, you!

    .. you're probably right.
    But I realize I do have a few values.
    One is that I believe possession of another (i.e., domination) is evil personified.
    (Probably because it negates choice and thus negates love.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #48
    Senior Member Kora's Avatar
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    I used to think that life was to control others or being controlled. Now... I don't know anymore.
    5w4 - Idiosyncratic/Leisurely/Dramatic
    It's the devil's way now.

  9. #49
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    *gets out handcuffs*

    Hey, get back here, you!



    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    .. you're probably right.
    But I realize I do have a few values.
    One is that I believe possession of another (i.e., domination) is evil personified.
    (Probably because it negates choice and thus negates love.)
    On the contrary, you have to trust someone to allow them to possess you. And trust breeds love.

  10. #50
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nocapszy View Post
    OCD is a myth.
    Jamie and Adam proved it.
    Oopsie. Must've missed it.

    I reverse my stance.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

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