names

[prplchknz]

So I noticed alot of people get upset when their name is mispronounced. Why? I mean what makes people so upset if they're called by the wrong thing? I've never been bothered if someone calls me not my name, as long as I know they're talking to me. Afterall too me it's just a name, one semester I had a professor that kept forgetting my name, I almost went "What name do I look like? I'll go by that" because to me I'm not attached to the name I've been given. So why do people put so much stress in names, it's just a title you were given at birth.

I'm really curious. It just seems like a stupid thing to get upset over.

 

[file cabinet]

my sister had a name when she was younger that (as far as I know) was the only one of its kind. No one knew how to pronounce her name. being a young kid and constantly traumatized by people butchering her name became extremely unpleasant for her. she changed her name to her middle name. then after like 15 years she changed it back to her first again.

to me, a name is a part of someone's identity. and in the case of my sister during her growing up period, it was hard to deal with. my mom also had a last name that no one could correctly pronounce so she was extremely happy to marry a man with the last name Smith.

 

[Chris_in_Orbit]

Whats in a name? Thats such a great phrase. I use it as my excuse for many situations because I hardly -ever- remember anyone's name, and yes people hate that about me.

Have you ever heard that a person's name is the sweetest word their ears can hear? I guess it really is true. Your name really is a part of you, its taken me a while to realize that.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

My name is never mispronounced, but it's misspelled ALL THE TIME. And it's not even an unusual name. It just makes me think that people are stupid and/or careless. It doesn't upset me, but it definitely gives me a poor impression of the person in question.

 

[Bella]

In real life I have a deliciously different name. I can never find it on name-meaning sites or in books. It used to bother me but now I like it.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

I don't get too pissed when people mispronounce my name, but I can never feel close to a person who can't say it. I'm not 100% sure why. I can speculate, but I'm just not sure.

 

[Noel]

Actually, I've been somewhat contemplating which name I should choose for becoming a citizen here in the United States. I've been tinkering around with the name Nol (it's my gaming alias). My father has told me that if he could of changed my name back then, he would of spelled it Nole. I have until tomorrow before the inauguration ceremony but I'll probably just stick with the spelling of my original name. Oh the possibilities!

I spell my name Noel and My name is pronounced like a grassy knoll / Nole rather than No*el / Noël. At this juncture in my life, I've grown accustomed to both. It's the [pseudo]derivatives that bother me the most: like Joel, Noah, Nolan, etc. I recognize they're trying, but just ask if you forget - I've already forgotten your name the second you told me.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

Spell it "Nole."

 

[ajblaise]

So why do people put so much stress in names, it's just a title you were given at birth.

Names are given so much importance because they are the universally accepted symbols that represent individuals.

My name is impossible to mispronounce, so I don't understand why some people get up in arms about people getting their name wrong. Maybe it's akin to a Japanese person getting offended by someone calling them Chinese.

 

[01011010]

Names are given so much importance because they are the universally accepted symbols that represent individuals.

Yes. I think your right.

 

[substitute]

I was never attached to my name before, because for reasons you can imagine, I didn't feel that that name described who I was. I actually hated it and always wanted to change it but couldn't think of anything I could change it *to*, except male names which weren't allowed for me then lol

I went through a period of my transition where I was obliged by health system rules rolleyes to live full time in the male gender role, but yet I didn't look convincingly male yet, the hormones hadn't had time to kick in properly. So I went under a gender neutral name, intending to 'upgrade' it later, to avoid being arrested for fraud every time I used my credit card

When I reached a point where I could upgrade the name, I did hate being called the shortened, gender neutral version of it for a long time. It kinda felt like y'know, I'd sweated blood and tears for the right to have this MALE name, don't you fucking gender neutral me now!!! :steam:

But now I'm more laid back about it and don't really care what people call me. Even if it's disrespectful, I'm confident I can reciprocate more wittily

 

[Kasper]

Same as OP, I could care less what people call me, it holds no value, in fact I tend to give out random names whenever strangers speak to me if I'm in a group just for the fun of seeing the next person decide if they are gonna follow in suit or stutter. I rarely correct people if they get my name wrong.

 

[ajblaise]

One way I think names separate us from different cultures is that they all give out radically different sounding audible symbols for names. I remember a really small kid from South Korea came to my high school, he had a messed up name that no one could pronounce which alienated him even more. I renamed him "G Fresh" and by having a cool name, he almost became cool. Everyone would say hi to him, teachers even called him G Fresh.

I think we should easily be able to change our legal names, even encouraged.

 

[substitute]

In the UK it is easy to change your name officially, it can be done for the equivalent of $10 in one day. In fact, there's a law here that says you're allowed to use any name you please as long as it's not for fraudulent purposes.

For some people, I guess they relate strongly to their name, it means something to them, so it'd irritate them or upset them to have it incorrectly used or whatever. I suppose like you're calling them something they're not. But for others who feel their name doesn't accurately represent who they are (such as those with gender identity issues or who were say, given crazy names by hippie parents whose way of life the kid disagrees with etc), I guess being called by your 'real' name is worse than being called Butthead ...lol I know I used to say to people quite sincerely that I didn't care if they called me shit-head or whatever they liked as long as it wasn't THAT name my parents gave me.

Since a person's name is so closely identified with the person themselves, I agree that people should have the right to choose for themselves how they're labelled. It always irritates me when I hear my friend saying of another friend "You know, JAMES" with audible quote marks around the name, as if to say he sees it as not valid because it wasn't the name registered on his birth certificate. I find that mentality very bizarre... I don't know how it can really stand up logically, the idea that something having been merely written on a piece of paper when a person was too young to have a say in the matter becomes the only official or valid label for them for the rest of their lives... like the individual's personal authority over who they are is completely irrelevant

 

[Jack Flak]

If you find yourself at the library or bookstore, find a book with Asimov's short story "Spell my name with an 's'."

 

[INTJMom]

So I noticed alot of people get upset when their name is mispronounced. Why? I mean what makes people so upset if they're called by the wrong thing? I've never been bothered if someone calls me not my name, as long as I know they're talking to me. Afterall too me it's just a name, one semester I had a professor that kept forgetting my name, I almost went "What name do I look like? I'll go by that" because to me I'm not attached to the name I've been given. So why do people put so much stress in names, it's just a title you were given at birth.

I'm really curious. It just seems like a stupid thing to get upset over.

According to Dale Carnegie, in How To Win Friends and Influence People,
an excellent book, by the way, for learning to get along better with people,
"...a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language."

The highlight points of the book are here:
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

 

[substitute]

According to Dale Carnegie, in How To Win Friends and Influence People,
an excellent book, by the way, for learning to get along better with people,
"...a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language."

The highlight points of the book are here:
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Not having read the book, I'm guessing this is behind the general schmoozing advice of using people's names when you're talking to them. Like "Look, Bob, the thing is, Bob, you know this thing here..." and "I don't really wanna do that, Bob" and that sort of thing?

Seems to work on people of average/low intelligence, who seem to buy it as a sign of sincerity. I've found that with smarter people though it tends to just be annoying. I know I find it irritating and my estimation of the person's sincerity goes down with each use of my name in that way.

 

[Jack Flak]

I've read that, and it is advice for exactly "Influencing People," and somewhat effective if done properly (not overdone).

The book is sociologically significant, and should be read by everyone if only to know how a lot of P.R. ideas were spread.

 

[Ilah]

Becuase I have an unusual first name it is often mispronounce or mispelled. It happens so much I have kind of gotten used to it. It doesn't really bother me.

What I find really annoy it that there is a person where I work whose name is a little bit like mine, and people keep calling me her name. Her name is Ida, which is like Ilah, but not a mispronounciating because there is no d in my name.

Ilah

 

[Jack Flak]

Ida know, they are kinha similar.