User Tag List

First 56789 Last

Results 61 to 70 of 123

  1. #61
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6
    Posts
    24,060

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    As a childfree person, I feel no sympathy with parents who feel they cannot handle their children. They ought to have self-evaluated beforehand and abstained from reproducing.

    If they cannot train their children not to grab at other people and such, they ought to keep them in the home at all times and not inflict them on society in general.
    My son ran up to a woman in World Market the other day and grabbed at her leg. I was totally shocked because he has never done anything like that before. He's not a docile kid but he typically minds boundaries in public, at least. We ran after him and my husband grabbed him up and I apologized to her. My husband took him out right away, but we don't plan on keeping him home because he did that once. Part of training them is taking them out, but the corollary of that is watching them like hawks and preventing them from bothering others as much as possible.

    Sometimes I do feel exasperated. It's not that I don't feel I can handle my children, but I do get overwhelmed at times. It's not the kind of thing you can predict before having children.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  2. #62
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I still don't see why I have to hear screeches, dodge running kids (really inconvenient when I had my leg in an imobilizer and was on crutches) and fear that some child will mistake me for a child lover and latch onto my leg
    I'll be blunt: Get real.

    The reality is that kids do stuff that is inconvenient.
    Sometimes it's because the parents are not the greatest parents.
    Sometimes it's because kids are just kids.

    You were once a kid too.
    You probably did some annoying stuff when you were a kid.
    It didn't mean you sucked or should be kept at home, it was because you were a kid.

    And even if you personally didn't ever annoy anyone, it doesn't change the fact that kids come in many shapes, sizes, tendencies, and behaviors. This is an MBTI site, for crying out loud; we should be used to the wide variation in behavior among human beings from even the same subculture. Lord knows it gets bitched about enough here, about accepting people where they're at and as who they are... and we're all supposed to be mature and thus controlling our behavior to some degree or another.

    Now imagine KIDS, who can be mature for their age and STILL immature compared to grownups.

    A lot of my illusions and rationalizations about kids changed when I became a parent and experienced the reality of it.

    It's a real eye-opener, I think.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #63
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6
    Posts
    24,060

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jae Rae View Post
    But I'd like to point out one thing - children aren't small adults, but they are SMALL. It's possible that a kid mistook Whatever for his mother and grabbed her legs thinking they were his mom's. It's a long way from the floor to a toddler's mom's face and more than one kid has mistaken me for her mother.
    This is what I think happened when my son ran up to the woman in the store the other day. She was a very small woman with long, dark hair, and she actually resembled my niece quite a bit who was in the store with us at the time. She had been playing alongside my kids with some toys on a shelf nearby, and she had walked away, so I think my son thought the woman he ran up to was his cousin. He actually seemed embarrassed when we swooped in and made a big deal about it.

    I remember grabbing the nearest male hand in the grocery store when I was with my dad, and being absolutely mortified when my dad barked at me from the other side to let go of that man's hand.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  4. #64
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    type
    Posts
    9,100

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    A lot of my illusions and rationalizations about kids changed when I became a parent and experienced the reality of it.
    So you're saying you're biased then, and have no place to stand in a rational discussion about children. IT HURTS OH GOD IT HURTS BUT I LOVE IT

  5. #65
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    827 sp/so
    Posts
    20,124

    Default

    Why do parents throw a fit when you ask the child who's pestering you where thier parents (occasionally out of sight) are?

    I wouldn't be half as annoyed if I wasn't considered rude by people for this
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  6. #66
    Senior Member SillyGoose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    EXXP
    Posts
    243

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    Why do parents throw a fit when you ask the child who's pestering you where thier parents (occasionally out of sight) are?

    I wouldn't be half as annoyed if I wasn't considered rude by people for this
    I see what you are saying. These kids should be in their parents sight.

    I'm a Mom too and I can't tell you how many times I've been struck dumb about what to do with my child when she did something in public. But the thing is, I'm RIGHT there.

    We go to the playground pretty much everyday. She is only 4 so I keep her in sight the entire time. I can't tell you how many times I've seen kids her age and younger that have or come close to falling off swings, the playground set, hit other kids....the list can go on and on.

    When they are asked where their parents are...half the time they are still sitting in their car
    "My mom told me there was a weirdo on every bus, but I never could find him." Emo Phillips

  7. #67
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    I think it's because of the natural insecurity that every parent has to face at some point when their hopes and aspirations of parenting well go askew, whatever.

    As a mother I know of scarcely any insult that cuts as deep to the quick as it being implied that I didn't do a good enough job.

    And the more unsure of one's self one is the more vehement of defensiveness you will raise. A hint of critical appraisal will raise most parent's hackles.

    I suppose the more inept a parent actually is the louder they'll defend themselves?

    __________________________________________________ ___________________

    Once at a very large family gathering where all the men were in suits I went into the back yard where the men were, zeroed in on my "dad's" leg and grabbed it affectionately.

    It was my drunken mysogynist uncle's leg! He grunted, raised it sideways and shook me off onto the grass like an animal who has shaken a flea! I was so embarrassed (and hurt.) Oopsie.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  8. #68
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    827 sp/so
    Posts
    20,124

    Default

    it seems the less ept the more angry! It's ok if the parents are there and they appologize and such for the behavior, but when they finally appear and then yell at me for giving thier child a cold look and asking "where are your parents?" after they've grasped or run into me that's just not cool- they should expect things like that when they let thier children run freely. The grociery store is NOT a park
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  9. #69
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    So, what I'm sayin'? Your thoughts and attitudes toward children are acceptable. Not everyone likes the little buggers.

    Perhaps it is the way you go about expressing your dislike which causes the reaction.

    *Frood asks whatever to lay on his fainting couch, adjusts his glasses and then begins, "Und zo, my good vhatever. Zis business of disliking children is suspect. Ve know daht you vere vonce vone yourself, no? Ve tink dis is projection of ze most despicable sort. Haff you checked your self-imadge lately? Hmmmm. I thought zo. . ."*

    Smiling here.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  10. #70
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    GONE
    Posts
    9,051

    Default

    I like kids. Kids are kids. Some people find them annoying as is but I think my tolerance level is pretty high (and okay, I'm a pushover! I admit it! Blame it on my cognitive functions!), which is one reason why kids tends to like me -- I'm relatively relaxed around them and interested in what they're doing and understand they're chilrens. I do agree with Jennifer that going out in public, especially in 'family friendly' places like grocery stores and some restaurants brings you into friendly fire! LOL Goes with the territory, filed under 'loud talkers', 'pushy people', and 'people with horrible table manners'. Whatcha gonna do?

    HOWEVER -- I definitely have seen really freaking annoying instances of parent/child behavior, like Heart has described. It really is more of a parent issue than child. The kids are just being kids and doing what they're taught/allowed to do.

    Some parents think their children are the cutest things EVER and disrespectful and overall 'bad' behavior is considered adorable.

    Sometimes I look at parents quizzically with a look that says, "Ummm...are you seeing what your kid is doing?" and they look at me with this smile like, "Yes, my child IS cute, aren't they? Thank you!" The parent seriously has NO CLUE.

    Sometimes, especially in the case of young parents -- I think the behavior really IS acceptable to them. Their children are behaving just like their parents. Other times, I think parents have this bubble around them -- kinda like the 'cel. phone bubble' where they think nobody can touch them because having a child is this sacred thing.

    Sure -- it's birth/creation is sacred, and yes, children ARE the future (LOL) but it doesn't mean social standards and obligations no longer apply to you.

    When it comes to kids, I think a balanced approach is always best. Just like how kids need structure and discipline as well as compassion and love, kids in public shouldn't be expected to stop being kids, but parents should ALWAYS act like [responsible] parents.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] What do ENFPs find attractive in other people?
    By Edasich in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 137
    Last Post: 06-05-2013, 11:35 PM
  2. [NF] NFs and feelings of other people
    By Virtual ghost in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 65
    Last Post: 12-18-2009, 12:34 PM
  3. [MBTItm] Hurting feelings of other people
    By Virtual ghost in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 52
    Last Post: 02-02-2009, 06:17 AM
  4. [NT] Ways to challenge myself socially while helping other people
    By ygolo in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-28-2008, 01:10 AM
  5. High T and emotions of other people.
    By Virtual ghost in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 09-21-2008, 08:12 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO