Politeness and introversion and extroversion

[Lark]

What do you think? Do you agree?

 

[geedoenfj]

It depends on how comfortable I am around the people I'm responding to, or if I just wanna tease them ..
Generally, I think my answers are more likely to be like the introverts in this example with those I'm not acquainted with..
I would like some introverts opinions, since I know introverts who give the kind of extroverted answers of this example..

 

[ceecee]

View attachment 16906

What do you think? Do you agree?

No. This is a type of socially acceptable game playing that I find aggravating.

 

[Litsnob]

Agree with what? That this is typically how the introvert or extrovert would respond? It looks probable but I can only know what my own thoughts are. I would likely react similarly to the introvert example but the situations are not specified here so it's difficult to tell. For example, the first one I might take either option depending on how I read the situation and whether or not I actually want to chat with that person.

 

[Litsnob]

No. This is a type of socially acceptable game playing that I find aggravating.

CeeCee what am I missing that you see as game playing? I see a list of presumed thoughts of introverts vs extroverts when faced with the same situation and the question is do we relate to them.

 

[❀༺♥༻ℭ𝔞𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔞_𝔄𝔦𝔰𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤༺♥༻❀༺]

I agree that this is how I would respond as an introvert. Except for the very last one, I alternate between the extrovert/introvert one, depends on the situation and person. I do think that typically extroverts dont want to say no to be rude, and introverts dont want to say yes to impose. I dont think one is better than the other, and I think anyone would alternate between these depending on how close they are with someone and their mood.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

No. This is a type of socially acceptable game playing that I find aggravating.

Not sure if I'm seeing the same thing, as such, but I find it aggravating as well. It rings slightly manipulative to me. Like, "I'm going to do what serves my own needs here, but I'm going to put a veneer of thoughtfulness on it so that I don't feel/appear selfish." It's not always the case - if the person reacted to my protest by immediately offering to do the opposite, then it might seem sincere. But for the most part, I associate the kind of utterances in the cartoon with people putting a thoughtful face on self-serving actions.

As far as whether it's extroverted vs introverted manipulation - yeah, that seems an apt dichotomy to me.

 

[Population: 1]

I’ll be honest with you. Not insultingly so but I won’t patronize you with false pleasantries and act like I’d be imposing on you. If the situation means I’ll be in a large group of people I don’t know, I’ll tell you I’m not comfortable in that setting. Squirming around like those examples is dishonest and setting me up to possibly be outsmarted in my little game. I might find I’ve forced myself to either just be truthful like I should have been at the onset or trap myself into actually attending some event and suffer through it. If I respect the other person at all and wish to become real friends they’ll hopefully thank me for my candor.

 

[Coriolis]

Not sure if I'm seeing the same thing, as such, but I find it aggravating as well. It rings slightly manipulative to me. Like, "I'm going to do what serves my own needs here, but I'm going to put a veneer of thoughtfulness on it so that I don't feel/appear selfish." It's not always the case - if the person reacted to my protest by immediately offering to do the opposite, then it might seem sincere. But for the most part, I associate the kind of utterances in the cartoon with people putting a thoughtful face on self-serving actions.

I think it is not so much deliberate manipulation or selfishness, but the assumption that other people are like you, and will share your preferences. In fact, it conforms to a common statement of the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." This is why I never put much stock in that Golden Rule. Better to understand what the other person wants or needs, and then try to accommodate that if your goal is to be polite, or better yet, kind.

Of course communication goes both ways, and someone on the receiving end of the wrong kind of action should be able to say, "actually, I really would like (or not like) company right now". The other person, having assumed wrong, can then accept and act upon the first person's actual wishes.

 

[blob]

That is more like finding excuses for yourself rather than being nice lol

 

[ceecee]

Not sure if I'm seeing the same thing, as such, but I find it aggravating as well. It rings slightly manipulative to me. Like, "I'm going to do what serves my own needs here, but I'm going to put a veneer of thoughtfulness on it so that I don't feel/appear selfish." It's not always the case - if the person reacted to my protest by immediately offering to do the opposite, then it might seem sincere. But for the most part, I associate the kind of utterances in the cartoon with people putting a thoughtful face on self-serving actions.

As far as whether it's extroverted vs introverted manipulation - yeah, that seems an apt dichotomy to me.

Yep.

 

[Red Memories]

well this clarifies I am a selective extravert XD

 

[Lucy_Ricardo]

I disagree, mainly because the examples given are trite and overbroad, and they seem to deal more with intrusiveness rather than politeness.

I am an introvert, and therefore I am more likely to give people their space because I value mine. However, with the extroverts I know who want attention and someone to talk to, I'm willing to give it.

When it comes to politeness, I generally treat others with equal regard. I'm friendlier with people that I know better, but I'm polite to everyone.