Why do you have deficit of self-esteem?

[Virtual ghost]

Why so many people on this forum have this problem?
There are many threads about things that are in the end linked to
self-esteem. In the personal DNA thread I have seen that many people have this problem and I just want to understand way?

In the real life I have seen plenty of people which on purpose are trying to take the role of the person with low self-esteem.

I am not saying that people should be ego-maniacs but I simply do not see the side of this people.
I have noticed that this usually manifest itself in social environment.


So, why people have problems with low self-esteem?

 

[Jack Flak]

Lacking the tools to achieve goals, in a broad sense, is, I think, a very common cause.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Could you define tools in more detail.

 

[Jack Flak]

Could you define tools in more detail.

Only for you, Antisocial one.

I have a very vague mind, and I can't conjure up a specific example atm. If someone wants something very badly, yet has no idea where to start in getting what they want, it follows they may lose both their direction and self-esteem.

 

[cascadeco]

In general, probably a lack of affirmation growing up, or having ones abilities/traits/etc constantly questioned or criticized. And perhaps being more sensitive than most and internalizing things more than is rational/reasonable to do.

For me specifically, I don't know. I have always had confidence in my abilities - but I was always praised on my abilities growing up, so I never doubted myself when it came to most task-oriented things, or skills, or talents that I had. But I have always had abysmal confidence when it comes to who I am as a person (tendency to think there's something 'wrong' with me), my relational abilities (tied to social anxiety and sensitivity, which has considerably lessoned over time, but is still something that is there), and my physical appearance. None of these were 'nurtured', exactly, growing up, so I didn't receive much affirmation when it came to more core-personality stuff, and my sense of self. I experienced a lot of peer rejection growing up, as well as a fair amount of teasing. Now, some of this I think rests on my own shoulders, and I've matured enough and think a lot of it was my oversensitivity and, well, I simply lacked the social skills to know how to operate or perceive things any differently.

 

[colmena]

I have poor self-esteem because I don't like who I am. I don't like who I am because of the way I interact with the world. I interact with the world the way I do because I am either too afraid or unable to interact in another way. I also don't interact with the world because I don't like the powers within it and the values of others.

 

[ptgatsby]

So, why people have problems with low self-esteem?

I have it because I was bullied and it instilled a permanent feeling of inadequacy, including social anxiety.

I managed quite well due to family and a close group of friends that I found later, but I do still find myself putting myself down whenever I do something. It tends to make me undermine my achievements and highlight my failures.

The only time it becomes notable is when I am in social situations and my anxiety makes it difficult for me to function. Not the same as self esteem, but shares the same root cause.

It should also tend to happen with introverted neurotic individuals (read: a lack of positive emotions and substantial negative emotions) more often.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Only for you, Antisocial one.

I have a very vague mind, and I can't conjure up a specific example atm. If someone wants something very badly, yet has no idea where to start in getting what they want, it follows they may lose both their direction and self-esteem.

Hmm.. that sounds like problem with P. (I do not accuse you for anything).

Stupid question for everybody. Can the strenght of P-J part be linked to this problem. Somehow to me it make sense that people are more resistant to this problem the more J they are.
There are exceptions everywhere but can it be that there is some trend behind this?

 

[Jack Flak]

Stupid question for everybody. Can the strenght of P-J part be linked to this problem. Somehow to me it make sense that people are more resistant to this problem the more J they are.
There are exceptions everywhere but can it be that there is some trend behind this?

In my observation, people are usually slightly unsatisfied. 'Tis human nature. If a person is P, they will be slightly unsatisfied with, say, low output, and if J, they will be slightly unsatisfied with high output. When people become severely unsatisfied, they work to increase their satisfaction. Unless they lack the tools.

 

[ptgatsby]

There are exceptions everywhere but can it be that there is some trend behind this?

Yes, even though I'm not sure this has been checked within MBTI, Jish relates to higher self esteem. If memory serves, more so for men than women.

The root cause is not known, it could be that one becomes more J as one gains self esteem, for example. Doesn't have to be that Js are more resistant.

 

[Bufo]

If a person is P, they will be slightly unsatisfied with, say, low output, and if J, they will be slightly unsatisfied with high output.

Can you explain why?

 

[Jack Flak]

Can you explain why?

It's a hypothesis, and I'm certainly never going to do an experiment, but...

I have noticed that Ps tend to wish they got a little more accomplished...

And that Js wish they got a little more accomplished...

But the difference in quantity of work actually done between Ps and Js, on average...

...is quite large.

 

[Bella]

In who's favour - J?

 

[Jack Flak]

In who's favour - J?

N-N-N-Naturally.

 

[Totenkindly]

In who's favour - J?

Not if the goal is to get away with doing the least amount of work.

 

[Bella]

I think you might be right there.....

 

[Lexlike]

Well, It s more self doubt than a self esteem problem... Just often to doubting my qualities as in real world where my holistic, theoretical, abstract thinking and also my rather shy, introverted, dreamy self does not help me to establish myself, to show my qualities... the result is more detachment towards the society

 

[Bufo]

It's a hypothesis, and I'm certainly never going to do an experiment, but...

I have noticed that Ps tend to wish they got a little more accomplished...

And that Js wish they got a little more accomplished...

Then its not a hypothesis. A hypothesis is not merely an individual's observation, it explains.

 

[Jack Flak]

Then its not a hypothesis. A hypothesis is not merely an individual's observation, it explains.

It's a hypothesis. Generalization based on specific observations.

 

[Anja]

I think the predominance of what is labled "low self-esteem" is a result of living in modern culture.

Waaay too involved an idea to go into. But it goes like "What you're worth is is dependent on what you can do, what you own, who you hang out with."

In America, at least, very few people have a healthy concept of self-esteem from my perspective. And American attitudes have permeated the far reaches of the globe. Pity.