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  1. #1
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Default Why do you have deficit of self-esteem?

    Why so many people on this forum have this problem?
    There are many threads about things that are in the end linked to
    self-esteem. In the personal DNA thread I have seen that many people have this problem and I just want to understand way?

    In the real life I have seen plenty of people which on purpose are trying to take the role of the person with low self-esteem.

    I am not saying that people should be ego-maniacs but I simply do not see the side of this people.
    I have noticed that this usually manifest itself in social environment.


    So, why people have problems with low self-esteem?

  2. #2
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    Lacking the tools to achieve goals, in a broad sense, is, I think, a very common cause.

  3. #3
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Could you define tools in more detail.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Could you define tools in more detail.
    Only for you, Antisocial one.

    I have a very vague mind, and I can't conjure up a specific example atm. If someone wants something very badly, yet has no idea where to start in getting what they want, it follows they may lose both their direction and self-esteem.

  5. #5
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    In general, probably a lack of affirmation growing up, or having ones abilities/traits/etc constantly questioned or criticized. And perhaps being more sensitive than most and internalizing things more than is rational/reasonable to do.

    For me specifically, I don't know. I have always had confidence in my abilities - but I was always praised on my abilities growing up, so I never doubted myself when it came to most task-oriented things, or skills, or talents that I had. But I have always had abysmal confidence when it comes to who I am as a person (tendency to think there's something 'wrong' with me), my relational abilities (tied to social anxiety and sensitivity, which has considerably lessoned over time, but is still something that is there), and my physical appearance. None of these were 'nurtured', exactly, growing up, so I didn't receive much affirmation when it came to more core-personality stuff, and my sense of self. I experienced a lot of peer rejection growing up, as well as a fair amount of teasing. Now, some of this I think rests on my own shoulders, and I've matured enough and think a lot of it was my oversensitivity and, well, I simply lacked the social skills to know how to operate or perceive things any differently.
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  6. #6
    señor member colmena's Avatar
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    I have poor self-esteem because I don't like who I am. I don't like who I am because of the way I interact with the world. I interact with the world the way I do because I am either too afraid or unable to interact in another way. I also don't interact with the world because I don't like the powers within it and the values of others.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    So, why people have problems with low self-esteem?
    I have it because I was bullied and it instilled a permanent feeling of inadequacy, including social anxiety.

    I managed quite well due to family and a close group of friends that I found later, but I do still find myself putting myself down whenever I do something. It tends to make me undermine my achievements and highlight my failures.

    The only time it becomes notable is when I am in social situations and my anxiety makes it difficult for me to function. Not the same as self esteem, but shares the same root cause.

    It should also tend to happen with introverted neurotic individuals (read: a lack of positive emotions and substantial negative emotions) more often.

  8. #8
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    Only for you, Antisocial one.

    I have a very vague mind, and I can't conjure up a specific example atm. If someone wants something very badly, yet has no idea where to start in getting what they want, it follows they may lose both their direction and self-esteem.
    Hmm.. that sounds like problem with P. (I do not accuse you for anything).

    Stupid question for everybody. Can the strenght of P-J part be linked to this problem. Somehow to me it make sense that people are more resistant to this problem the more J they are.
    There are exceptions everywhere but can it be that there is some trend behind this?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Stupid question for everybody. Can the strenght of P-J part be linked to this problem. Somehow to me it make sense that people are more resistant to this problem the more J they are.
    There are exceptions everywhere but can it be that there is some trend behind this?
    In my observation, people are usually slightly unsatisfied. 'Tis human nature. If a person is P, they will be slightly unsatisfied with, say, low output, and if J, they will be slightly unsatisfied with high output. When people become severely unsatisfied, they work to increase their satisfaction. Unless they lack the tools.

  10. #10
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    There are exceptions everywhere but can it be that there is some trend behind this?
    Yes, even though I'm not sure this has been checked within MBTI, Jish relates to higher self esteem. If memory serves, more so for men than women.

    The root cause is not known, it could be that one becomes more J as one gains self esteem, for example. Doesn't have to be that Js are more resistant.

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