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  1. #51
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I don't have a deficit of self esteem- I'm a complete and total egomaniac, but at least I'm honest enough to admit my flaws, I just think my good qualities outweigh them

    *I was actually CALLED an egomaniac a few days ago by a good friend! in the phrase "you don't need an ego boost- you're ego seems to be in excellent working condition as it is!"
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  2. #52
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    I don't have a deficit of self-esteem, instead I have distorded thinking (yea, I'm fixing it.. trying to).
    Which is worse I believe.

  3. #53
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Why so many people on this forum have this problem?
    There are many threads about things that are in the end linked to
    self-esteem. In the personal DNA thread I have seen that many people have this problem and I just want to understand way?

    In the real life I have seen plenty of people which on purpose are trying to take the role of the person with low self-esteem.

    I am not saying that people should be ego-maniacs but I simply do not see the side of this people.
    I have noticed that this usually manifest itself in social environment.


    So, why people have problems with low self-esteem?
    Really? what makes you think they are only taking on the role of a person with a lack of self esteem, rather than actually being a person with low self esteem?

    Because in my eyes if you need to take on the role of anyone in real life, and not for the stage, then you are already lacking self esteem, which means they aren't pretending.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  4. #54
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Really? what makes you think they are only taking on the role of a person with a lack of self esteem, rather than actually being a person with low self esteem?

    Because in my eyes if you need to take on the role of anyone in real life, and not for the stage, then you are already lacking self esteem, which means they aren't pretending.
    I wasn't clear enough.

    I am not saying that they turn to the exact opposite but soften their methods.


    In my culture when you are reserved you are seen as someone who has this problem. Unless people know you very well.
    So when you act as calm and reserved people are easier on you since you dont appear to be a threat.
    It look to me that some introverts that are clearly a minority here use this as a tactic. I am using this as well.


    When I was a kid it was easier and better for me to convince my NF mother that I have problems with confidance about something then saying that I don't give a damn about it. Because of this she was much more accepting then she would be in other scenario.

  5. #55
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post


    When I was a kid it was easier and better for me to convince my NF mother that I have problems with confidance about something then saying that I don't give a damn about it. Because of this she was much more accepting then she would be in other scenario.

    Ah, that's interesting and painful to me since I can see myself reacting the same to one of my kids, and that must have been tough for you to some extent, to have to mask how you really felt about certain things ie not really caring at all. (good pointer to me as an NF mum )

    However I must be a sucker for it, because I honestly haven't seen it that much.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  6. #56
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Ah, that's interesting and painful to me since I can see myself reacting the same to one of my kids, and that must have been tough for you to some extent, to have to mask how you really felt about certain things ie not really caring at all. (good pointer to me as an NF mum )

    However I must be a sucker for it, because I honestly haven't seen it that much.


    It wasn't hard do to it, which is because my logic has always been "The end justifies the means".


    For example it was easier to convince her that I am afraid/uncomfortabe around people then that I am not interested at all in what those people talk and think/feel.

    Since she is (probably) an INFP she has that kinds of fears herself so it was not that hard to convince her.

  7. #57
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    It can go the other way too. Sometimes the objective feedback is a shock and hurts the persons self esteem. The parents may have always told the kid positive things, but he/she may have been overpraised.
    Good point.

    Are you in psychology?
    Nope

  8. #58
    S Saiyan God Mace's Avatar
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    I have a pretty strong self-image, and I have gotton involved in people's affairs quite alot of times - and, seen as sufficiently well self-esteemed.

    ... I guess my problem is that that makes me stick to a general principle or goal quite strongly, too - so that when I fail on something, and eventually realize I can't be bothered to keep the effort on it, I dismiss it, and start doing others that are more worthy... pretty much choose to ignore the possibility of failure, than face it... or face it again.

    I'm on this forum because I like it.

  9. #59
    Te > Fi > Ni Shaula's Avatar
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    In my opinion, there seems to be four types of self-esteem:

    1. Healthy Self-Esteem.
    2. Low Self-Esteem.
    3. High Self-Esteem.
    4. Alternating Low and High Self-Esteem.

    I consider myself to have the fourth type. This can be potentially the most dangerous. Low self-esteem can lead to destruction of the self but high self-esteem can lead to the destruction of others. As one can imagine the alternating type both directs destruction towards the self and at others.

    I recommend the book, Evil: Inside Human Violence and Cruelty, where author Roy F. Baumeister PhD. rejects the popular idea that violence is caused by people with low self esteem and tries to dispell the "Myth of Pure Evil".

    my logic has always been "The end justifies the means".
    There is a chapter on the roots of evil which cleary states one of them being "the end justifies the means". You might find it an interesting read.
    Is not to be held accuntable for peeling errors.

  10. #60
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    I go with no.3
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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