STRESS: How Each Type Responds & How to Help

[Cloudpatrol]

I'm not really sure I actually find anything to be personally moving. If I did, I'm sure it would affect me though.

However, your general run-of-the-mill positivity usually doesn't. Idk why I'm so averse to it.

I don't like the feeling of manipulation behind a lot of the "general run-of-the-mill positivity" as you say. Does that ring true for you? Stuff like that doesn't actually reach me for the most part. Whereas, it can be surprising what I actually am moved by.

 

[Yama]

I don't like the feeling of manipulation behind a lot of the "general run-of-the-mill positivity" as you say. Does that ring true for you? Stuff like that doesn't actually reach me for the most part. Whereas, it can be surprising what I actually am moved by.

I'm not sure why I hate it so much. I guess it's because it seems kind of ignorant to me even when it's not. Like, "How could you possibly think everything's going to be okay if you've actually looked at the situation we're in?" Inferior Ne stuff. For some reason I feel like telling me I'm gonna be fine when I definitely do not feel fine feels like my feelings are being invalidated or brushed off or something.

 

[meowington]

INFJ – The Counselor​

What stresses out an INFJ:
– Having to focus too much on sensory/concrete details
– An overload of sensory stimulation or noise
– Interruptions
– Distress within a close relationship
– Having their values violated
– Not enough alone time. Too much extraverting.
– Working with closed-minded people
– Lack of appreciation or understanding
– Unfamiliar environments with overwhelming amounts of details
– Having plans disrupted
– Not having a clear direction
– Lack of harmony
– Criticism and conflict
– Not being able to use their intuition or envision the future
– Having to focus too much on the present

When under stress, the INFJ feels fragmented or lost. They feel like they can’t be themselves, and feel an urge to act a part to “survive” or fit in. This disassociation can cause physical symptoms for the INFJ, like headaches, IBS, or nausea. The repressed feelings they’re holding onto can cause them to become immobilized. If they are under chronic extreme stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function, extraverted sensing. When this happens, they may engage in indulgent, self-destructive habits like binge-eating, cutting, over-exercising, alcoholism, or excessive pornography use. This often feels like an out-of-body experience to them. What they do provides no pleasure, but feels somewhat robotic and out of control. After this occurs, they dwell in self-hatred, falling even more into guilt over what they’ve done. They may become uncharacteristically angry and quick-tempered, unreasonable, and irrational. They may become obsessed with details in their outer world; obsessively cleaning or doing housework. They stumble over their words, and their intense feelings eventually lead them to a state of complete exhaustion.

How to help an INFJ experiencing stress:
– Give them space.
– Reduce sensory stimulation; music, interruptions, TV, etc,..
– Let them express their thoughts and feelings.
– Understand that they may be irrational. Don’t judge them.
– Don’t give advice. This will only stress them out further.
– Let them take a break from some of their responsibilities
– Encourage them to spend some time in nature, walking or reading a book.
– Take a walk with them if they want company.
– Encourage their less serious side, and let them relieve emotional tension by letting them cry through a sappy movie or novel of some sort.
– Be forgiving if they’ve been overly harsh or critical while under stress. Chances are, they will feel very guilty about it.

Ridiculously accurate.

 

[Lia_kat]

Incredibly accurate. I actually relate a lot more with INFJ description..

 

[soremfinger]

That's quite accurate. Thank you for sharing. Here, I found an ISTP "stress badge" -

 

[Fidelia]

Very accurate for infj and enfj.

 

[ceecee]

While I agree with many of the INTJ solutions for stress, the ENTJ ones are very accurate for me too, just wish more people who want to help would understand those tips.

 

[Norrsken]

Neato, I think you can find these badges for all 16 types.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

 

[Evo]

I identify with all of the intj's list, and some of the entj's.

Especially the part about sleep.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

That's quite accurate. Thank you for sharing. Here, I found an ISTP "stress badge" -

You are most welcome

Thanks for finding (sharing) the badges. Great complimentary resource!

 

[21%]

Pretty accurate, but I feel like the INFJ one is missing a few points that are very important (at least for me)

Major stressors:
- Having to do something without proper time and resources to plan, or something I'm not a hundred percent sure I'm capable of handling.
- Different people in the inner circle wanting different things that conflict with each other

Signs I'm stressed:
- Overindulgence in escapist fantasy (books, movies, games, hobbies). If I spend an excessive amount of time doing something that I'm not even that excited about, it usually means I'm trying to get away from real life.
- Messy personal space. If my desk has piles of stuff on it that means my inner world is in chaos too.
- Tuning out, numbing out.

How to help:
Step one Do not demand more things (even "you should get some rest", though well-intentioned, usually doesn't help, because then I'm worried that you're worried about me and I will usually try to hide the stress from you, which adds more stress). Trying to suggest extra activities to help me 'relax' also doesn't help at all.
Step two Give me a pressure-free "let's do nothing!" day.
Step three Once I've caught my breath, ask me what I need to do and how you can help me. Usually I know what to do to help myself get unstressed; I just need the morale support and someone to say that they will be there for me while I sort things out. The key is I need a quiet "no pressure" environment.

In short, "I see that you're stressed. Let me know if I can help." is always

 

[chubber]

It says "Too much noise or sensory input."

Well, it's not just input, it's sensory output as well. Too much interfacing with people will invoke inferior Se. Then afterwards, it results in crawling back into independent crawling into my hole.

 

[EJCC]

Accurate?

How Each MBTI Type Reacts to Stress (and How to Help!) - Psychology Junkie

ESTJ – The Supervisor​

What stresses out an ESTJ:
– Being in an environment that is in disarray
– Frequent disruptions
– Irrational behavior
– Being surrounded by (or guilty of) incompetence
– Unexpected changes
– Lack of control
– Laziness in others
– Not having their strongly held values validated
– Guilt over being critical towards others
– Dealing too long with abstract or theoretical concepts
– Being in a highly-charged emotional environment for too long

When overwhelmed by stress, ESTJ’s often feel isolated from others. They feel as if they are misunderstood and undervalued, and that their efforts are taken for granted. When under stress, they have a hard time putting their feelings into words and communicating them to others. If they are under frequent, chronic stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function; introverted feeling. When this happens, they can develop a “martyr complex”. The ESTJ will be uncharacteristically emotional, withdraw from others, become hypersensitive about their relationships, and misinterpret tiny, insignificant details into personal attacks. Physically, they may feel tension headaches, and neck or shoulder aches from tension in their body.

How to help an ESTJ experiencing stress:
– Give them some time to be left alone during and immediately after an incident.
– Avoid directly attacking the problem right away.
– Help them break down larger projects into smaller pieces.
– Listen to them. Let them talk it out.
– After some time of listening, discuss information or ideas that could lead to solutions.
– Validate their feelings.
– Don’t be overly-sympathetic.
– Don’t respond emotionally.

This is basically flawless* and everyone who knows me should read it.


*

Edit: I might as well mention where the flaws are.

- The physical symptom part is nonsense. But trying to connect physical anything to the MBTI is always nonsense in my opinion.
- Abstract and theoretical concepts don't stress me out, ever. They might make me impatient, or frustrated, but not stressed.
- A couple of the items in "what stresses out an ESTJ" don't stress me out, but they make me absolutely furious. Where the stress comes in, is when that fury remains in place for too long with no easy way to get rid of it.

 

[á´…eparted]

If I actually focus on things that causes HIGH levels of stress for at least 3/4ths of the items, and ignore things that cause moderate or low stress (cause if I include those I can relate to a lot of these in many types- partly cause a lot are similarly worded), I'd have to say it's a tie between ESTJ and ENFJ.

Same for how to fix problems. It's sort of like first approach it as ENFJ, and then approach it as ESTJ (cause doing just one is only 1/2 the battle).

This is why I prefer enneagram

 

[EJCC]

This is basically flawless* and everyone who knows me should read it.


*

Edit: I might as well mention where the flaws are.

- The physical symptom part is nonsense. But trying to connect physical anything to the MBTI is always nonsense in my opinion.
- Abstract and theoretical concepts don't stress me out, ever. They might make me impatient, or frustrated, but not stressed.
- A couple of the items in "what stresses out an ESTJ" don't stress me out, but they make me absolutely furious. Where the stress comes in, is when that fury remains in place for too long with no easy way to get rid of it.

Also, this is complementary:

"Dismissing my logical decisions" is a big one.

A lot of these "stressors" don't trigger stress, for me, as much as they trigger my zero-to-sixty rage switch.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

Also, this is complementary:

"Dismissing my logical decisions" is a big one.

A lot of these "stressors" don't trigger stress, for me, as much as they trigger my zero-to-sixty rage switch.

Hmmm, seems to agree somewhat with what Hard says above.
[MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION], if it pleases you, feel free to jot down what some of the low to moderate stressors you identify with are. It might prove useful to others

It says "Too much noise or sensory input."

Well, it's not just input, it's sensory output as well. Too much interfacing with people will invoke inferior Se. Then afterwards, it results in crawling back into independent crawling into my hole.

Good point Chubs. Thanks for making note of that.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

Largely accurate.

How to help an INFP experiencing stress:


– Give them space and time alone to sort out their feelings.

Alternately: Engage in brainstorming or 'discussing life and the world'.



– Validate their feelings.
Unsure about this one. I appreciate not being immediately shot down, but DO welcome probing questions that help me reason. Even if my feelings are valid, I probably still would like to be challenged a bit to see things in other ways or know where I could be more effective…


– Remind them of their strengths.
Not for me. Probably not time most receptive or believing.


– Don’t give them advice. This will only make them feel worse.
Alternately: If the advice is intelligent or the questions perceptively help me shift perspective - it will actually calm me.


– Let them “get away” from it all.


– Exercise can help.
Alternatively: Going for a walk, getting outside. Solo or with someone. Also….seduce me.


– Forgive them if they’ve been overly critical while stressed.
Alternatively: Probably won't have been critical but likely was silly or anxious. Forgiveness can include direct communication about the persons feelings/thoughts re: such if not too harshly delivered


– Let them work on a project they’ve been interested in, but maybe have been too busy to spend time on.


Not mentioned but one of the ultimately MOST effective things:

Make me laugh! Jokes that involve wordplay, are a bit off-colour or peculiar. Say something I would never expect. Be wacky and playful.

 

[Yara the Corpse]

Hmmmm I think INFJ fits my stress reaction best.

 

[Galena]

What stresses out an ISFP:
– Rigid structure and rules
– Having to violate their deeply held values
– Not enough alone time. Too much extraverting.
– Too many demands or obligations.
– Having to deal with excessive data
– Long-term planning
– Criticism
– Lack of appreciation from others
– Feeling that they are about to lose something (relationship/task, etc,..)

Reading this description actually made me kind of sad (I hope such a response doesn't come across as self-pitying). These are accurate for me if I think way back in time and go really deep, but otherwise I've kinda turned myself over to them willfully - now, I am the source of the hardest demands and inflexible data. Bullshit on what I want to do if the counterargument is more quantifiable - that's what being in the grip of the inferior is about. When I was a kid, I remember being really uncomfortable with orders. That's still true. Now, I just deal with it differently. I'll go down with a directive long after the people around me deem it too much and jump ship.

When under stress, ISFPs can often become passive aggressive, restless, and defiant. If stress continues to build, ISFPs may become self-destructive and careless of their own well-being in an effort to restore excitement or affirmation in their life. If an ISFP is in a state of chronic stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function, extraverted thinking, and become “the criticizer”. They may be harsh and critical of others, obsessing over their mistakes, and others incompetence. They may have an intense urge to fix perceived problems or right wrongs, but this can often worsen the situation.

If this is accurate, I don't remember when the last time was where I wasn't bedding with the inferior. . I wish I could just say I'm like this because I'm ISTJ, because that would mean the situation is simpler and more in line with the reality of myself than it is, but I've lived with me a lot longer, and I know better. At this point, it can't just be untangled in a day.

The first two sentences of stress response in that paragraph have never been accurate for me, except maybe careless with my own well-being in the way of working myself to the bone on a commitment to avoid the truth that I've begun to have doubts about it.