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Bullying

Noon

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The most awkward thing about bullying is how you're sometimes targeted precisely because you want to be left alone, or at least, not bullied. My first assumption will be that I've done something wrong and need to correct it, but when they're that flavor it usually only results in more aggression.
 

/DG/

silentigata ano (profile)
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I really don't think I've ever experienced outright bullying. There were a couple of years wherein I was sort of shunned and given the cold shoulder by a select group of people who were previously my friends, but nothing like being made for of or anything. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was a definite loner in middle and high school and I guess I still am, but no bullying to be found. I didn't really witness much bullying either.

Is this uncommon? Maybe it's because I'm female? :shrug:
 

Frosty

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I think everyone has been bullied and has bullied at some point in their life. It is human nature, and sometimes people will be weaker than you and, especially if you are immature and young, you might take advantage of it. On the other hand, you might be bullied by someone trying to assert dominance, especially in a group. Humans have way too many social interactions for all lf them to be positive.

Anyways in major contexts I admit to both being a bully and having been bullied. Especially when younger, if I was in a group and someone was making fun of someone I did not always stick up for them and sometimes I joined in. Heck, oftentimes I even initiated the bullying. I regret it now because I think you should never target someone who you believe is less capable than you in any way. I also am sorry if I ever hurt anyones feelings, I'm sure I probably have. I will say though that generally my bullying seemed pretty light to me, but it probably didnt seem that way to the other people. I like to mess with people, but now-a-days I limit it to friends or people who I know can take it, I suppose I do it to strangers IRL, but that is more just jokes, pretending to be really stupid, or just putting on some sort of act. I try not to be mean about it anymore.

Anyways I have been bullied as well although it never was a really big part of my life or anything, it still made me doubt myself.
 

Yama

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I was a terrible bully to my INTP younger sister when we were kids. We get along pretty great now, though. To my knowledge, my sister has never been a bully to anyone but has been bullied at school. I have terrible self-esteem because all throughout elementary school (and middle school--my school was a k-8) I was, for reasons literally unknown, ostracized by 95% of my grade. I was never confronted or directly bullied. It was mainly... laughing and whispering behind your back, mocking, teasing, and avoiding me. It absolutely did not help that because of my peanut allergy, I sat at my own lunch table in the corner of the cafeteria, almost ALWAYS alone (a special "allergy kids" table they made us sit at). Things got better around 8th grade when my friends started sitting there with me, and when I entered high school where there were new people who hadn't met me before, things got better. But elementary school was absolutely terrible for me. To this day I have no idea why I was ostracized like that. The only people who would allow themselves to be seen with me were the "misfits" and "loners" or people who just didn't give a shit about their "social image". And those friends are wonderful people who I still have in my life today. But because of the way I was treated, I'm nervous, shy, and timid around people I don't know. I constantly long to have more friends (especially since all but 2 now live in other cities for college), but I'm too scared to meet new people. It's easier online, but even then, I sometimes have difficulty.

And the weird thing is, people see me as a generally nice person. At work, customers tell me I'm the "nicest" and "most helpful" employee they've ever met. At work and back when I was in college, I'd get along with everyone great, students and teachers alike. But it's not like we exchange contact info or hang out. This was especially bad at school--be friendly with people all semester, new semester comes around and I never see them again. One time I was brace enough to get someone's contact info, but I rarely ever talk to them because it's like I don't even know how to "make friends" anymore because of what they did to me back then.

It's a kind of weird feeling and hard to explain, since it wasn't confrontational bullying. I was never physically attacked, and the worst that happened was the occasional (rare, even) "snob" coming up to me during recess and teasing me, which I was slow to catch on to because I'm a kind of naive and gullible person. I have not made a single "close" friend since junior year of high school--which is about 4 years ago now.
 

danseen

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define bullying....

i think most bullying is people being oversensitive. being called fat, or tall, or short once in a while isn't bullying, it's human nature (we're not always kind...duh...:newwink:)
 

lkjhgfdsa

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It happens even now and I agree wit danseen ppl just need to deal wit it cuz we all been bullied
I used to get bullied by a bunch of angry idiots Bcuz they got bullied but I scared them one day laughed so hard when they ran away
Currently, I see a bunch of goofballs (extroverts) everyday who would tease/annoy infps or intps for being too quiet but it's just for amusement XD
I tried talking to them but it's so hard they would have a book or ignore everyone all they do is listen/daydream but never talk
 

Tomb1

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I never had much trouble with bullies. I was always assumed to be among the toughest kids in whatever grade I was in even if I had barely lifted a finger in front of those particular kids. Only a few older kids would try to provoke me because they were naturally bigger. But age/size differences meant nothing to me. I didn't mind fighting when necessary and was very good at it. Anger made it easy for me to win. :mad:
 

INFPtheQuietOne

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I have always been a very quiet, unpopular kid. And unfortunately, I've been bullied many times in the past. I'm always the passive victim who ignores the bullies and can't stand up for themself, but I think I'm doing better now. The bullies either left me alone or I just did something kind for them and they stopped. Thank god.
 

Doctor Cringelord

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I have always been a very quiet, unpopular kid. And unfortunately, I've been bullied many times in the past. I'm always the passive victim who ignores the bullies and can't stand up for themself, but I think I'm doing better now. The bullies either left me alone or I just did something kind for them and they stopped. Thank god.

You should take MMA classes. I'm guessing you're not a sporty type, but it's a confidence builder and it would give you a skill to defend against these bullies. If most people know you're someone who is easily stepped on, they'll never respect you.
 

Tippo

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The most awkward thing about bullying is how you're sometimes targeted precisely because you want to be left alone, or at least, not bullied. My first assumption will be that I've done something wrong and need to correct it, but when they're that flavor it usually only results in more aggression.

That sucks, empathy (practicing). People can be hurtful, in most cases, the abusers are ignorant of most healthy development. Usually, neglected children from broken homes with the acquired disadvantage of being encouraged to be dumb.

Now the irony, these aggressors have typically entered prison, started yard mowing companies, or taken the suck salary but bully massaging cop career.

When you see one, if he's not already become a moronic fatality, ask him about his mother and reference meatloaf.
 

Midoughni

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Jan 28, 2015
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I'm surprised I was actually never harassed in this way, except by one a roommate I had that was impossible to live with. She was unbearably controlling, irritable, and judgmental. She would overreact to petty things that had no direct effect on her, like the fact that it bothered her to have to look at my disheveled bed. Then she would go on about what negative things it said about my "character". She would get annoyed if I apologized for bumping into her or if I held the door for her, but when I didn't, I still got yelled at! Sometimes she would even vent to me and I would offer her advice, only to be told that what I have to say is worthless because I'm younger than her. At first I tried to be accommodating and explain that I only wanted to have a harmonious relationship and never intended to offend her, but then she started inappropriately saying flat-out disrespectful things to me and becoming more and more obnoxious, until I started defending my actions and telling her to get over it and to mind her own business because truthfully, her opinions are of no interest to me, I just want to relax. I'm more than willing to compromise and practice common courtesy, but she has to have some tolerance herself and realize that her preferences do not naturally take precedence over my own. She backed off some because she knew I was fed up and would bite back, but I still sucked up to her just so I wouldn't have to deal with her. I think one trick is to make the other person think you see them as a joke and don't give a shit about them, without seeming desperate/like you have something to prove. Have some pride.
 

Mademoiselle

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The solution is simple.
Knowledge:
People learn it is ridiculouse.
People learn a person who is bullied doesn't lose any value the person even earns respect.
And the dump who bullies people is empty.
 
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Nyltiak

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My sisters friends and their family members were generally pretty cruel to me. Excluding me from all activity's, pushing, hair pulling, getting locked in a dog kennels, spying on me in the bathroom, ect. At the time I didn't realize it was bullying and since no one intervened I assumed it was normal. Another time a much older person hit me a couple times and went a few yards away to laugh about with someone he didn't even like, which was humiliating. By now I've put it all behind me but when I was a kid it messed me up a little. I admit I still occasionally wonder why they treated me that way.
 

Pinker85

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Meh. Bullying. I don't know. It possibly depends on ur definition.

I've definitely bullied people in the past. I once ganged up on a girl with another girl, she had first started out friends, actually we all were, then one of the girls got upset at the other girl and she was ousted. I don't even recall the extent of cruelty but it made her cry at one point. I knew it was wrong but I wanted to be liked so I went along. I do recall though, the meeting in which the girl cried, another girl was present, a friend, really in the truest sense, and she defended this girl with such brilliance and beauty ... At one point I said to her, u do realize this other girl talks badly behind ur back, it was true, she didn't bat an eyelash and said, I don't believe that. The loyalty made me feel ashamed, even then.

But it's still something I do occasionally, ok, I can see how there r instances even in my everyday life where I can be a bit of a dick ... Those could be considered bullying.

If u genuinely have never bullied before, that's awesome ... Great that such kindness can be found in the world. But I'm guilty. I think because of that I'm not so hard on people that bully, especially kids. Crap I still have difficulty even as an adult. More than a few times I've said something behind someone's back with less than kind intent, more than a few times inserted a sharp jab in a conversation when someone had irked me. I try. Mostly things happen. I assume when others have bullied me it was more of stuff happening, where shit they weren't monsters ... Just circumstances.
 

Proctor

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Meh. Bullying. I don't know. It possibly depends on ur definition.

I've definitely bullied people in the past. I once ganged up on a girl with another girl, she had first started out friends, actually we all were, then one of the girls got upset at the other girl and she was ousted. I don't even recall the extent of cruelty but it made her cry at one point. I knew it was wrong but I wanted to be liked so I went along. I do recall though, the meeting in which the girl cried, another girl was present, a friend, really in the truest sense, and she defended this girl with such brilliance and beauty ... At one point I said to her, u do realize this other girl talks badly behind ur back, it was true, she didn't bat an eyelash and said, I don't believe that. The loyalty made me feel ashamed, even then.

But it's still something I do occasionally, ok, I can see how there r instances even in my everyday life where I can be a bit of a dick ... Those could be considered bullying.

If u genuinely have never bullied before, that's awesome ... Great that such kindness can be found in the world. But I'm guilty. I think because of that I'm not so hard on people that bully, especially kids. Crap I still have difficulty even as an adult. More than a few times I've said something behind someone's back with less than kind intent, more than a few times inserted a sharp jab in a conversation when someone had irked me. I try. Mostly things happen. I assume when others have bullied me it was more of stuff happening, where shit they weren't monsters ... Just circumstances.

That's an interesting thought. What you perceive as just being thoughtless could be seen as bullying by others.

I think there are times where I acted in a way that could be called bullying. I wouldn't have thought so at the time, but my overly blunt and argumentative manner has resulted in upsetting others, even causing them to cry. I've also taken the dominant role in one or two relationships and it could easily be perceived as bullying by an outside party. Despite the fact that my partner preferred being in a submissive position.
 

Blackout

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I have been bullied for most of my life---I am not really sure why.


I`m not normal, so I suppose that`s usually motivation enough. Now, I hardly react, and it doesn`t really bother me, but I more or less expect it. I have become pretty peculiar about the type of environments I avoid, and types of people I associate with now because of it. I think it must be because I am quiet, and don`t really brag, or talk myself up.

It has always more or less cemented my sense of feeling disconnected and almost like an alien. Oddly enough, I am considered reasonably attractive as well, but it does not often seem to make very much of a different; I think if anything, it just attracts more strange attention.
 

Hawthorne

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Whenever I changed schools, I was usually teased for being "odd".

(Un)Fortunately, I was extremely antisocial as a teenling and would fight and threaten people to leave me alone. I think it made me less of an interesting target but people will always gossip and make fun.

Having obvious sensitivities and a less assertive personality definitely makes one more of a target though.
 

evilrubberduckie

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for a strong 8 wing im suprised I never bullied. if anything I got bullied.

figures
 

Sil

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I bullied peers in my early years and authority figures in my young adult years.

Early year bullying was entirely physical. I picked fist fights with kids of both genders looking to get a rush and have a good power struggle.

Young adult years involved more psychological. Most figures just sucked it up and kept their mouths shut. One confronted me politely and asked me to stop; I did. Another showed such a great level of patience and humility that I ended up admiring him. Only those two earned my respect.

That said, I look back now with a great mixture of embarrassment and disbelief at most of my behavior. I was young, with a lot of energy, and just looking for a way to get a reaction out of my surroundings. It was rarely about the people as individuals.
 
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