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Thread: Bullying

  1. #341

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    The most awkward thing about bullying is how you're sometimes targeted precisely because you want to be left alone, or at least, not bullied. My first assumption will be that I've done something wrong and need to correct it, but when they're that flavor it usually only results in more aggression.
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  2. #342

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    I really don't think I've ever experienced outright bullying. There were a couple of years wherein I was sort of shunned and given the cold shoulder by a select group of people who were previously my friends, but nothing like being made for of or anything. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was a definite loner in middle and high school and I guess I still am, but no bullying to be found. I didn't really witness much bullying either.

    Is this uncommon? Maybe it's because I'm female?

  3. #343
    Senior Member Frosty's Avatar
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    I think everyone has been bullied and has bullied at some point in their life. It is human nature, and sometimes people will be weaker than you and, especially if you are immature and young, you might take advantage of it. On the other hand, you might be bullied by someone trying to assert dominance, especially in a group. Humans have way too many social interactions for all lf them to be positive.

    Anyways in major contexts I admit to both being a bully and having been bullied. Especially when younger, if I was in a group and someone was making fun of someone I did not always stick up for them and sometimes I joined in. Heck, oftentimes I even initiated the bullying. I regret it now because I think you should never target someone who you believe is less capable than you in any way. I also am sorry if I ever hurt anyones feelings, I'm sure I probably have. I will say though that generally my bullying seemed pretty light to me, but it probably didnt seem that way to the other people. I like to mess with people, but now-a-days I limit it to friends or people who I know can take it, I suppose I do it to strangers IRL, but that is more just jokes, pretending to be really stupid, or just putting on some sort of act. I try not to be mean about it anymore.

    Anyways I have been bullied as well although it never was a really big part of my life or anything, it still made me doubt myself.

  4. #344
    Sweet Summer Child yama's Avatar
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    I was a terrible bully to my INTP younger sister when we were kids. We get along pretty great now, though. To my knowledge, my sister has never been a bully to anyone but has been bullied at school. I have terrible self-esteem because all throughout elementary school (and middle school--my school was a k-8) I was, for reasons literally unknown, ostracized by 95% of my grade. I was never confronted or directly bullied. It was mainly... laughing and whispering behind your back, mocking, teasing, and avoiding me. It absolutely did not help that because of my peanut allergy, I sat at my own lunch table in the corner of the cafeteria, almost ALWAYS alone (a special "allergy kids" table they made us sit at). Things got better around 8th grade when my friends started sitting there with me, and when I entered high school where there were new people who hadn't met me before, things got better. But elementary school was absolutely terrible for me. To this day I have no idea why I was ostracized like that. The only people who would allow themselves to be seen with me were the "misfits" and "loners" or people who just didn't give a shit about their "social image". And those friends are wonderful people who I still have in my life today. But because of the way I was treated, I'm nervous, shy, and timid around people I don't know. I constantly long to have more friends (especially since all but 2 now live in other cities for college), but I'm too scared to meet new people. It's easier online, but even then, I sometimes have difficulty.

    And the weird thing is, people see me as a generally nice person. At work, customers tell me I'm the "nicest" and "most helpful" employee they've ever met. At work and back when I was in college, I'd get along with everyone great, students and teachers alike. But it's not like we exchange contact info or hang out. This was especially bad at school--be friendly with people all semester, new semester comes around and I never see them again. One time I was brace enough to get someone's contact info, but I rarely ever talk to them because it's like I don't even know how to "make friends" anymore because of what they did to me back then.

    It's a kind of weird feeling and hard to explain, since it wasn't confrontational bullying. I was never physically attacked, and the worst that happened was the occasional (rare, even) "snob" coming up to me during recess and teasing me, which I was slow to catch on to because I'm a kind of naive and gullible person. I have not made a single "close" friend since junior year of high school--which is about 4 years ago now.

  5. #345
    Senior Member danseen's Avatar
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    define bullying....

    i think most bullying is people being oversensitive. being called fat, or tall, or short once in a while isn't bullying, it's human nature (we're not always kind...duh...)
    Good result (vs. Soton)...still have to go #Arsene

    Tengo los conocimientos estardiar....no hay un motivo para estar al tanto de la reunión que sucedió hace mucho tiempo ....

  6. #346
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    It happens even now and I agree wit danseen ppl just need to deal wit it cuz we all been bullied
    I used to get bullied by a bunch of angry idiots Bcuz they got bullied but I scared them one day laughed so hard when they ran away
    Currently, I see a bunch of goofballs (extroverts) everyday who would tease/annoy infps or intps for being too quiet but it's just for amusement XD
    I tried talking to them but it's so hard they would have a book or ignore everyone all they do is listen/daydream but never talk

  7. #347

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    I never had much trouble with bullies. I was always assumed to be among the toughest kids in whatever grade I was in even if I had barely lifted a finger in front of those particular kids. Only a few older kids would try to provoke me because they were naturally bigger. But age/size differences meant nothing to me. I didn't mind fighting when necessary and was very good at it. Anger made it easy for me to win.

  8. #348
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    I have always been a very quiet, unpopular kid. And unfortunately, I've been bullied many times in the past. I'm always the passive victim who ignores the bullies and can't stand up for themself, but I think I'm doing better now. The bullies either left me alone or I just did something kind for them and they stopped. Thank god.
    I am extremely quiet, an outcast, and conflict-avoidant. But I also have strengths too, that I can forgive you all because you are unique and special. I kill with kindness, hating violence and social conflicts. People always bully me into actually talking, but I can't. Just be your true self and know your strengths and weaknesses. Some weaknesses we cannot change, but work on your strengths, forgive, and accept that.

  9. #349
    Aspiring polymath asynartetic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INFPtheQuietOne View Post
    I have always been a very quiet, unpopular kid. And unfortunately, I've been bullied many times in the past. I'm always the passive victim who ignores the bullies and can't stand up for themself, but I think I'm doing better now. The bullies either left me alone or I just did something kind for them and they stopped. Thank god.
    You should take MMA classes. I'm guessing you're not a sporty type, but it's a confidence builder and it would give you a skill to defend against these bullies. If most people know you're someone who is easily stepped on, they'll never respect you.
    Formerly Anaximander

  10. #350

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    Quote Originally Posted by Noon View Post
    The most awkward thing about bullying is how you're sometimes targeted precisely because you want to be left alone, or at least, not bullied. My first assumption will be that I've done something wrong and need to correct it, but when they're that flavor it usually only results in more aggression.
    That sucks, empathy (practicing). People can be hurtful, in most cases, the abusers are ignorant of most healthy development. Usually, neglected children from broken homes with the acquired disadvantage of being encouraged to be dumb.

    Now the irony, these aggressors have typically entered prison, started yard mowing companies, or taken the suck salary but bully massaging cop career.

    When you see one, if he's not already become a moronic fatality, ask him about his mother and reference meatloaf.

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