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Thread: Bullying

  1. #211
    Nips away your dignity Array Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Ehh indeed. It's a scary thought that you're walking about with a ticking time bomb in your skull.

    You know, it's not that hard to realize that bullies don't make you who you are. It's you, yourself, that has full control on that. If you are to look for any culprits as to who fucked you up you should look in the mirror first, because that's where the problem seems to be.

    I've been bullied occasionally, I never cared about it though. Could usually laugh about it. I've always been very apathetic towards stupidity. Unless they do something that get me in an awkward position. I'd usually find a way to swing the embarrasment back towards the bullier, preferably in front of as many people as possible. It's quite effective.

    But dude, walking about with certainty that you are capable of murder and will comply with that if you get the oppertunity is sickening.

    Get over yourself.

    edit: I'm assuming you're open about it because you too realize that this can't be the proper course of action and are sampling peoples opinions to get a better sense of direction in your life. So, with that assumption, work on this, and find a better solution to your problems. Starting with yourself.

  2. #212
    Senior Member Array sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by So Long So Long View Post
    Thank you, though. It means a lot to me that you read it, even thought it was incredibly long. lol.
    I read your story too. College will be much better. You will not be strapped onto a herd of folks, and instead can find peers who are more like you.

    I got picked on some in school as well, however I became very good at being invisible, so avoided much attention.

    My son is in seventh grade. In fifth grade some of the other kids stopped seeing him as a funny class clown enfp and started making fun of him, tripping him, calling him wierd and goofy, and some of them were being very hateful and very mean.

    I took him out of the public school and put him a charter science academy. He is now surrounded by mostly NTs and turkish kids. He is still goofy, but overall much happier.

    You should see these poor kids try and play basketball, ....

  3. #213
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Ehh indeed. It's a scary thought that you're walking about with a ticking time bomb in your skull.

    You know, it's not that hard to realize that bullies don't make you who you are. It's you, yourself, that has full control on that. If you are to look for any culprits as to who fucked you up you should look in the mirror first, because that's where the problem seems to be.

    I've been bullied occasionally, I never cared about it though. Could usually laugh about it. I've always been very apathetic towards stupidity. Unless they do something that get me in an awkward position. I'd usually find a way to swing the embarrasment back towards the bullier, preferably in front of as many people as possible. It's quite effective.

    But dude, walking about with certainty that you are capable of murder and will comply with that if you get the oppertunity is sickening.

    Get over yourself.

    edit: I'm assuming you're open about it because you too realize that this can't be the proper course of action and are sampling peoples opinions to get a better sense of direction in your life. So, with that assumption, work on this, and find a better solution to your problems. Starting with yourself.
    Mostly, harmless. The inner rage is great for when I need to get something doen, so I keep it around. I wouldn't have anywhere near as good as 2k as I currently have without it.

  4. #214
    Senior Member Array Lark's Avatar
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    Perhaps it deserves a thread itself but the people capable of killing tend to be the most unlikely candidates for it and some of the people who do kill or are expected to, like soldiers, armed police or security, dont exactly fit that category perfectly, training can only do so much.

    Dealing with the consequences or attendant feelings is a different matter again.

    I dont believe that bullying would be sufficient to desensitised someone altogether to the point of being easily capable of killing, simply looking for a chance and I hold with the idea that what's happening here, either consciously or unconsciously, is a sampling of opinions. I've been there myself, in retrospect it seems a pretty adolescent way of behaving but, well, I was an adolescent at the time.

  5. #215
    darkened dreams Array labyrinthine's Avatar
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    I'm interested in the relationship bullies have with their mothers. The stereotypes like Cartman on South Park or Fenton on Home Movies depicts their mothers as too sweet and passive. Sometimes the opposite can be true as well, I think.

    I've been amidst the bullies, but mostly deflected it by being socially quiet. There are a lot of bullies who indulge their own feelings of self-pity to the point they feel entitled to act in such an asymmetrical manner towards others. It's often a combination of feeling powerless and having the opportunity to act out in an oppressive way towards something weaker that creates a bully. They have to learn that acting mean and oppressive towards safe targets gives them a feeling of security. Bullying is in its way a need for reassurance that one has personal power. It has to constantly be proven. You can't be strong and stable inside and act like a bully. Those two mindsets are incompatible. A person defines their inner strength based on the "opponents" they choose. Now someone who is strong inside and aggressive by nature will pick on someone their own size or bigger.

    It is difficult to watch children having to face these things. At least internet bullies have no actual power. Their "attacks" are more like when you visit your friend and their miniature schnauzer keeps humping your leg. It's not pleasant, draws more attention to you than you would choose, and you can acknowledge the sincere effort on their part, but it's hardly victimizing.
    The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas. H.G. WELLS
    The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. FEYNMAN

    If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.SCULLY

  6. #216
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Perhaps it deserves a thread itself but the people capable of killing tend to be the most unlikely candidates for it and some of the people who do kill or are expected to, like soldiers, armed police or security, dont exactly fit that category perfectly, training can only do so much.

    Dealing with the consequences or attendant feelings is a different matter again.

    I dont believe that bullying would be sufficient to desensitised someone altogether to the point of being easily capable of killing, simply looking for a chance and I hold with the idea that what's happening here, either consciously or unconsciously, is a sampling of opinions. I've been there myself, in retrospect it seems a pretty adolescent way of behaving but, well, I was an adolescent at the time.
    So am I. Thank god I know discipline.

  7. #217
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    i dunnnoo...last real bully i remember, i pushed him back ONCE, and he never bothered me again

    high school, people came across as bullies at first but weren't really...we ended up becoming good friends and we still keep in touch...it was men testing men...see what everyone is made of and how low do our balls hang

  8. #218
    full of love Array Kingfisher's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    I would wait for the bullies outside of school and terrorise them for fun.

    It was fun actually, Their tough act would vanish when they came out of those school gates to see me there. I didn't waste time with insults either, I just dived straight at them.

    I guess this made me the bully, since I made their life hell and I was the teachers pet at the same time, but I only targetted people who attempted to bully people weaker than them.
    you are the Robin-Hood of bullies.

  9. #219
    RETIRED Array CzeCze's Avatar
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    Did I post here somewhere?

    I got bullied in middle school by one particular girl who was kinda a loser herself IMO. The last day of the quarter I turned the tables and did everything she tried to do to me - I attempted 2x to pants her in PE and when she wasn't looking, I yanked her hair HARD in French class. I even laughed about it and would show off to other kids to show them how amusing it was. She had absolutely no reaction each time, I think I cowed her into showing her true colors. She never bothered me again.

    In middle school, I was still quite social and I had a lot of friends. I was not a "popular" kid and in fact considered myself a reject but I had friends who truly liked me and I thought of myself as a gatherer of fellow rejects and misfits.

    This middle school bully was the classic 'weak' bully. People who don't have much social standing or sway, are basically not part of the 'popular' group themselves and/or don't have a lot of confidence or killer instinct.

    Slap 'em down once and that's the end of it. What sub said in the OP was true - you may have to get truly nasty about it, but these kids (and adults) have a lot more bark than bite.

    A lot of street harassers are like this too. For whatever reason, they've gotten away with being absolute idiots. But as soon as you snap back something at them, they are stunned and will either back down or yell unintelligbly because you made them mad. Either way, you bested them and you can walk away satisfied.

    Then there are just straight up jerks. I've seen them in school, I've seen them in the workplace. These bullies are harder to handle.

    These bullies I really think are slightly sociopathic or see everything as a will to power with real hierarchies and to them, they need someone to bully. These people must lack basic empathy IMO and are just straight up nasty. Or else they are very tough and base a lot of their self-image on how many other people they can slap down.

    When I was bullied in highschool, it was much more severe and it was a group of girls. These girls (and boys) were the other, harder to deal with bullies - they were popular OR they were just straight up mean and it was a group-think thing. Some of the girls got perverse pleasure from harassing me.

    Bullying was part of the culture and they valued themselves on how tough and on top of the food chain they could be.

    I guess I used my indirect ENFP-ness to win over the school for the most part by the my senior year. I almost got elected to student council, the head girl who realy harassed me would joke and laugh with me by the time I was a junior, etc. I think some of the guys who used to bully me and I became "friends" (this quickly ended in college when I came to)

    My motto in highschol was, 'I will make all you fuckers like me!?!?!?!'

    For the most part, it worked.

    From my experience, there are always many potential allies for the bullied. These potential allies are usually kids who are not popular but they aren't unpopular and they are accepted as part of the majority of the social fabric of highschool (or your workplace). These kids may not stand up for you when you are getting bullied, but they take no pleasure in seeing anyone bullied and if you befriend them and get yourself into the mainstream social fabric of the school or whatever community you are in - bullies have a much harder time of targetting you. It especially helps if you are able to befriend someone with a lot of social pull - a popular kid, a star athlete, etc. Once people see that you are "in" with the majority, most potential bullies back off and look for other targets.

    This all sounds so calculated but from what I remember of highschool - :shudder: adolescence and school is a giant alternate universe and microcosm of the basest social mechanisms and it really makes you realize that people, "in general", can be idiots.

    I know that totally sounded un-ENFP.

    Again, I do back up from expereince what Sub said about 'standing up for yourself'. It's like with any street fight, if you do stand up for yourself you have to be ready to go so far to slap the other person down. Bullies can read self-doubt like a flashing strobe light and if you make a half-hearted attempt at standing up for yourself, it will only make things worse. However, if you come back at them with an equal or greater amount of fire, most bullies will be cowed and back down or at least think again before bullying you again.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  10. #220
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    You sound ENFP, but seriously, the world is brutal. I think it demands a more T response, because beeing feely about it will get you psychologically killed.

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