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Thread: Bullying

  1. #191
    Senior Member Array One Day's Avatar
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    Even though I've been really quiet and withdrawn throughout my entire school year I've never been excessively bullied, though I've been ignored for the most part. I think I just got incredibly lucky that I didn't run into a complete asshole all those years.

    I really feel for those people who actually do get bullied regularly. I honestly wouldn't know what to do in such a situation (besides simply fighting back which not everyone can do).

  2. #192
    Senior Member Array substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cirrus View Post
    I also started withdrawing more into myself and even at a young age at about twelve or thirteen I saw it as a "shell" or "shield", and imagined it around me, strengthening each time I took what I considered to be a "blow" (even though I've never been physically bullied, it's always been verbal because all the bullies I've ever encountered were wimps... =P) and it would get tougher and tougher with each one.

    .... I am now very tough towards bullying, and put on my perfect "shield" which unfortunately makes me unsociable and cold towards any stranger because I don't trust them any more.
    It's interesting that you put it that way. I used to know an INFJ who said similar things, took similar approaches... only trouble was, she wasn't as adept at assessing what was a "blow" and what wasn't as she thought she was - she was a touch paranoid and would often get upset or hurt by things that were really quite harmless, and if there was a bad way to take something, you could guarantee she would.

    She came to see herself as persecuted and turtle up completely and push others away whom she considered to be "attacking" her, when in fact, she was isolating herself from genuine support and only worsening her situation, whilst also making an image of herself as a person who was a) snooty (wouldn't give time of day or respect to people she considered low- lifes because she'd erroneously decided that they were in the anti-her gang) and b) too easily offended/stuffy (she believed she was inscrutible and nobody could tell she was hurt when she was in her shell, but the fact was that we could all see when she retreated into it and knew what it meant - something had hit the knuckle), which effectively painted a target on her head that the real bullies couldn't resist.

    All in all, I don't think it was a particularly effective way of dealing with it, though of course she did... because she was "right", of course...

    Anyway, as regards my daughter - I took her out of school and started homeschooling her a few months ago, and it's going very well
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  3. #193
    Senior Member Array swordpath's Avatar
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    I never understood bullying... It's completely immature and inane. The rationalization behind it, that it's the bully's way of distracting him/herself from their own flaws and insecurities makes the most sense to me though. I was pretty small growing up, but I would have loved to have been the big guy that could step in and smash down bullies on the behalf of those that are unable to defend themselves.

  4. #194
    Senior Member Array Wade Wilson's Avatar
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    I was bullied (among other things) growing up and then in eight grade, when the opportunity to turn the tables arose, became a bully from then until the end of HS. Not a topic I go into detail on but if I ever have a kid that starts bullying people I'm glad I can sit 'em down and explain why they shouldn't do it from personal experience and try to get to the source of it.

    As far as the mindset of being a bully in my experience it wasn't anything too out of the ordinary; just lashing out at my home life from about the age of seven on.
    I know a girl, she's one of a kind
    But the poor little thing, she's going out of her mind
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    Cos baby she don't want to be found

  5. #195
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    I experiences severe bullying for a whole month at a summer camp. [edited] *slaps self in face.* Damnit, don't give yourself away!
    Last edited by Ivy; 06-21-2009 at 08:54 PM. Reason: removed threats

  6. #196
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    If you are bullied, you should have the legal right to torture the bully to death on the sport. Release your inner hatred. Feel the blood on your face.

  7. #197
    Senior Member Array professor goodstain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mortabunt View Post
    If you are bullied, you should have the legal right to torture the bully to death on the sport. Release your inner hatred. Feel the blood on your face.
    Why waste all that energy when they have already destroyed themselves with but their first action of bullying It's best to let them carry on farther with which to destroy themselves even more.
    everyone uses every function about evenly. take NE for example. if there are those who don't use it much, then why are there such massive amounts of people constantly flowing through Wallmart with 20 items or less?

  8. #198
    Junior Member Array So Long So Long's Avatar
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    Should I really spend the time telling my bullying story? Hmm... I guess I shall.

    I was hated by my classmates from the start. Kindergarten was one of my better years, but I still got called named, didn't make any friends, etc. At this point in time it wasn't really direct bullying; it was more that I was ignored by all of my classmates and I was pretty much completely alone. I did everything by myself and whenever I tried to make friends I failed horribly at it. I guess I was just different or something and they didn't like that about me? -shrugs-

    I should say that I was a tomboy - As in I wore boy clothes and I liked boy things instead of girl things. I remember the girl sometimes laughed at me and the boys didn't get it.

    Anyways, first grade I was alone yet again. One girl in particular, Catherine made sure to ruin my day in every single way that she could; she hated me and made sure I was aware of it. In the second grade I made one friend and his name was A.J. I had some good recesses with him, but I never really hung out with him outside of school and he was my only friend. I remember that I was placed in a group/table with Ashley and some guy named Zack who didn't let me do anything in group projects and pushed me around and called me names, etc. I tried to bring it up at one time to the teacher, but nothing happened and I ended up crying on the way home from school that day. That year A.J. had to move and I never saw or heard from him again.

    Third Grade was the worst so far. My teacher didn't even like me! And I was afraid of her to begin with. More bullying from people that I'd never even done anything to before and more crying on my part. I had one friend and his name was Wayne. But he was in another class so I only saw him at recess.
    Fourth Grade was a pretty good year, but I was still very much alone.

    I should mention that another reason why people possibly thought I was stupid/dumb/weird/annoying/etc. was because I had ADHD and an LD so I was required to go to Resource and a lot of kids didn't get that, I guess.

    Fifth grade was the second worst year of my life. I succeeded pretty well in school work, but there was this whole big gang of people that hated me. On a daily basis they would tell me that I was worth nothing. That I sucked. They would laugh when I had to go to bathroom. They'd poke and prod me at any time during the day. They nicknamed me such ridiculous stuff. There was a girl in particular that was my partner during a project and she would push and shove me and fight with me on a daily basis and just make me want to curl up into a little ball and hide underneath a rock. I eventually told my teacher, but that did little to stop it. In fact it made it worse. Wayne dumped me as a friend because I apparently 'betrayed' him somehow. I gained one friend named Lydia, but she went to a different middle school than I, so I was at a lost.

    Sixth Grade was blah.... That Summer before Seventh Grade I had a breakdown in front of my parents, though. I just remember crying and whimpering why nobody liked me, what was so wrong with me, etc.

    The Seventh Grade was the worst year of my life and remains as such today. I had a group of 'friends' or so they were called. But they were no friends of mine. Here are the course of events:

    They watched me as I ate. They made fun of what I ate. At one point while I was eating this one guy shoved a bunch of food in his mouth and kept running back and forth from the bathroom as thought to tell me that me eating literally made him 'throw up'. I remember the teacher sitting in front of us and asking what Trent was doing and laughing - laughing about it.

    Another guy pretended to like me and pretended to date me and then when I called who I thought was his ex-girlfriend... things didn't add up. The next day they both laughed at my face and asked how I could be so stupid and think that anybody would like me.

    I showed them a picture of me when I was little and their only response was, "Wow, you used to be skinny? What happened?" Ahahaha. A good self esteem booster.

    I tried to sit somewhere different, but after a couple of days before I could sit down I was confronted by one of the girls and told that I wasn't allowed to sit there anymore. Apparently I was too annoying and needy.

    I went back to sit over there. I was called a bitch continually and a bunch of other things that I'd rather not mention. I tried to notify the school, but they didn't do fucking shit. They placed me at another table for five minutes and then I had to move.

    I stopped doing school work soon after that and just stopped caring. I plunged deeper into depression and one night I broke down and started crying yet again. I told my parent's everything and nothing really changed. Nothing at all.

    Also, while all of this was going on I had a Tutorial teacher that made my life a living hell. All she ever did was sit on her ass and give off orders. She told me that she hated me and every day I had to suppress the urge to cry and/or yell at her. I remember a lot of times where I would sneak/beg to go to the bathroom and just cry in the stall and get so mad. There was a lot of other stuff that I won't talk about going on as well. She added more stress to my already stressful life.

    My final breakdown was one day after an IEP meeting. I left feeling like shit and was supposed to go back to my Science class, but instead I just slid down a pair of lockers. About a minute later a line of kids in my grade level came by and I saw all of them laughing and talking and having fun with their friends and I remember talking to Preston and he said something mean to me or something. Anyways, after they left and filed into the classroom I began crying uncontrollably. I slid of to the side of a door and my year before tutorial teacher was the one that found me. I don't remember much of that conversation, but it doesn't really matter. I was just thinking about why people had to be mean, why I couldn't have friends and laugh, etc. I ended up making a fool of myself in front of everybody and begging my parent's to take me home. The next day I was made fun of for showing my emotions. It was an awful year. I went back into therapy after that and it didn't really help much at all.

    Eight Grade was a little better. I started off with more friends than I'd ever had, but I soon realized they weren't really my friends. They were other peoples friends and I was there to look pretty. I also had another group of friends that started out liking me, but then turned their back on me. Ugh, school was evil again and I failed my grade yet again.

    Ninth grade, which was this year was another bad year. I was made fun of yet again and blahblahblahblah. People jumped away from me if I got within ten feet of them and scream. As if I got within a certain range I would give them grossitis or some shit. I just gave up on school and failed two classes. I went into Online school and just avoided social interaction at all causes.

    I truly believe that because of all my bullying in the past that I always suspect someone hates me right off the back. I don't think I'm worth much and just everything... I don't trust anybody.

    Anyways, I went into deeper Depression again and a few weeks ago I was actually admitted to a Behavioral Center as an outpatient. I had just gotten so bad... It was so weird. I was so timid around people. I suspected every single one of them hated me. I didn't wanna talk...

    Bullying, or part of bullying has done this to me. It has messed me up, but I'm trying my best to reduce the damage. I'm entering into a Therapeutic Charter school next year and it has absolute zero tolerance for bullying and I think I will succeed here and I may just be able to graduate on time...

    Anyways, that's my story. Maybe someone actually read it, but I doubt it. :p
    forever i'll remember
    In Summer the song sings itself...
    "And she told you laughing down to her core,
    So she would not cry as she lay in your lap,
    She said, "Nobody here can live forever
    quiet in the grasp of Dusk and Summer"

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  9. #199
    Senior Member Array wildcat's Avatar
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    I saw the bully in a tram.
    I had waited long.

    I recognized him immediately. How he had changed.
    In a street corner, he left the tram. I followed him.
    I walked behind him. He had become old and weak.

    I could not do it.

  10. #200
    Senior Member Array laughingebony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by So Long So Long View Post
    Anyways, that's my story. Maybe someone actually read it, but I doubt it. :p
    I read it. I feel your pain, too. I wasn't bullied to the extent you were, but there was one group of kids who picked on me from elementary school all the way through part of high school. They weren't the stereotypical bullies in that they didn't steal my lunch money or cram me in lockers, but they always knew just the right things to say to make me feel awful about myself. It was continuous, too; I couldn't get a break. I tried about everything to get them to stop, barring physical violence. I tried ignoring them, reasoning with them, bribing them, talking to teachers, having my mom talk to their parents (that only made it worse), and making fun of them, instead, but none of it worked. Then, around tenth grade, they started to grow up, and everything was fine. By my senior year, I had a wonderful group of friends and was on good or neutral terms with everybody. Hopefully it will work out the same for you. Most bullies do grow out of bullying eventually.

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